WHY DOES THIZ HAPPEN

Question

HI ALL,,,,1st of all ive bein single 17 mnth now,,n i really get so scared 2 move 4ward it causes my anxiety levels raise even the thought of movin on,,when i chat 2 sum1 n get on wiv erm,1 day i think i can do it,then the next i txt and call it a day course i feel so anxious n think all these crazy thingz n it feels alot easier 2 call things off,but it doesnt stop me thinkin the wot ifs n buts,n i just crawl in bed on me n strive thou anther day of loniless,,y does this happen 2 me..plze help,, thanx

honeypeaches31 · Answer

Get  a hobby and don't stress to much over the lost relationship. .I can tell your young and of you go under a rock every time you break up you'll look back and realize that you have spent a lot of time pining  over a person that wasn't  for you anyway. Make a list of the good and bad things that attracted you to that person look over it as many times as you need. Laugh about it. Cry about it then burn it. As you grow your desires in a companion will mode to for your life. Be young love  will come and go for ever but your youth will only be around for a little

TTinKKerBBell · Answer

I was not "judging" You (whatever that means!!), but rather making an observation.
  
Neither was I rude, but rather pointed out that proper verbage and good spelling is beneficial - texting slang has it's place, I suppose, BUT my opinion is - this isn't the place.

ALSO

I'm familiar with DYSLEXIA and I recognized that DYSLEXIA is NOT what I was seeing here!!  

You are perfectly free to use text slang if You please - don't let my observation hold You back.

BUT

As I understood from the get-go, You came on here asking for advice.  I gave You mine - even if it wasn't what You wanted to hear.   It's Your choice to take it or leave it.

Regards,
Tink

angelairene · Answer

no offence hun yeah its txt slang now wud u b  this rude n av a point 2 say 2 some1 thatz dislecsic wud u wivout thinkin or askin them personally,,now if u cudnt read or understand wot ive wrote or sayin then y make a point commenting hun just 2 b rather igrorant n rude,now may b u r from the old generation etc that dnt giv u the rite comment wiv ya judgements on how people write or communicate themselves 2 people,,so yea id say keep ya opinions 2 yourself if they dont involve the subject,,

TTinKKerBBell · Answer

I kinda, sorta think You might get more response if You typed Your issues using complete English. Personally, I wanted to respond - but I kinda grew tired with deciphering Your "codes".  I'm guessing this is "texting" and I'm suggesting You save that for the cell phone...........just saying.  

I'm probably showing my age - BUT - The Older Generation IS still here, and I will say, I don't appreciate the "texting" way of "speaking".   I appreciate the old-timey way of communication - no guesswork and easy to understand.   Certainly You have the choice to ignore my suggestion but, please know, I might have, even could have had something valuable or something important to say.

Otherwise, Good Luck.  I Hope You Found What You Were Look For Here

angelairene · Answer

thatz wot i say when people say not the rite 1 etc,as i say theres never a rite n it the woz then y do ya end up single in the run anywayz,lol.but itz just the feelin avin sum1 there 4 u n bein there ya kno,,it is less grief thou,n funny enuff ive had that idea but av no idea where start lol,n to b fair it wud b nice bein finacal stable on ther other hand as they say it cant by luv,,

Life360_Dave · Answer

I think online chats can be frustrating at most as one never really feels the other person. When i was inbetween relationships i would go out to the local pub and did have luck meeting very nice people.

I wouldnt stress being with someone to much as all we have in the end is ourselve anyway. People are attracted to success. Maybe take this down time and focus on being more financially successful. Created a product as online internet companies are always looking for new products and it is quite easy.

angelairene · Answer

hi hun thanx 4 the reply,,wit u r sayin is understandable n reasonable..yea 17 mnth may not seem long 2 others but it is 2 me,i feel ready sumdayz but bam everything kicks in n i retract everything i say or want,,which doez sound like i dont kno wot i want i kno thiz lol,n other dayz u feel u gud b losin a gud en etc n 4 wot cuz u r 2 anxious 2 b commited etc,,even still i cud acheive all my goals n land wiv sum1 that makes me un happy in tym,,thiz is where the risk thing comes in 2 mind,,or will they b board wiv my life due 2 the way i am,as im not goin adjust 2 theres as thatz not me being myself,so i cant do that neither,,sumdayz i may av my own answerz 2 my questions but its hard 2 fullfill erm thiz tym,,so a big catch 22 all round 4 me hun,,

specialmom · Answer

Hi there.  I'm personally am a fan of waiting until you are ready and you just don't sound ready to date yet.  I wouldn't force it.  I would instead work on your anxiety.  Do you see a therapist for this or have you been to the doctor?  Anxiety is very treatable.  You can also do things like making sure exercise is part of your every day routine which gives off the brain's natural happy chemicals, keep a journal and write thougths, fears and feelings, etc. Very helpful for really being intraspective to not repeat past patterns and to be clear about what you want. 
Then I'd stay busy.  Don't worry about finding someone to date (don't do the online dating thing) but rather go out and do things to make FRIENDS.  Good friends are a great place to start in terms of not feeling lonesome and like you 'have to find someone'.  

Every person is different in terms of how much time they need to heal after a break up.  So, continue to work on you and things will come together.  good luck

angelairene · Answer

hey hun thanx 4 ya reply,,n yeah pretty much,,i dnt get out at all c so thatz my only choice now 2 get 2 kno people  these days hun,u may say its due 2 b online as i dnt kno erm etc,but i think well u meet sum1 else where u dnt kno erm n it takes tym,,so itz the same init really hun,,im negative about things at the best of tyms so i make it hard 4 myself i guess,,i just dnt understand y ive got anxiety about movin 4ward n im not willin take no risks,,but sick of not avin no1 share melife wiv,,but on the other hand sum dayz i think sod it more trouble than its worth n just strive thou on me lonesom lol.