WHY is it always me ?!!!

[dogcrazie892]

Hi,
I have major depression, recently I came off my medication, cold-turkey like but I was supposed to come off like weaned. But you know nobody bothers to tell me these things, Even Mum whos a nurse.

So today, I work with Horses so I am pretty damn tired, I worked from nine until half six. My Mum is ill like a fever type thing, so then I came home and did like tidying and clearing up of stuff.

Right I have a nine year old sister, who still sleeps in my parents bed with my Mum and like she she never helps with like after dinner stuff, you know stuff like clearing up, or washing up, even the most simplest stuff like putting stuff away like the condiments.

So she kept like making these irritating remarks to me and I ignored that (right peeps, whenever my sister is doing anything my Mum is always there so just remember that). Then I asked her like a perfectly reasonable question and she was just really horrible and I said to her "Dont talk to me like that please." So then my Mum said to  ME (!) "Dont be horrible to your sister." And Im just thinking you know what the hell, thats so unfair. Then my Mum left my Dad to empty our dishwasher and put the dirty stuff in, so I thought Im going to be nice and I will do it, so I did. So I was doing that, my Mum was tidying the lounge and my other sister was doing all the checks, my nine year old sister was doing nothing-just twiddling her hair staring at me, so I asked her to put a coffee jar away and she said to "Oh you didnt ask me properly"
"Could you please put the jar away" And then she said "No, you just wanted me do something, because you looked around to see what I could do."then I said to her "Im just asking you to put something away, to be helpful, thats all, dont worry about it then." Then my Mum came in and said to me "Do not be horrible to her." Then I thought this is ridiculous. Then my sister started making comments and backchatting me. (My mum wasnt in the room this time) Then I loudened my voice, but not shouting ! And said "DO NOT talk to me like that." Then my Mum came in and said "Do not be horrible to her, why are you being so horrible ?!" I just said nothing and carried on doing the dishwasher.

Later I said to my Mum you know its not fair what you said to me, SHE is being the horrible one not me !, and she said " Well I wasnt in the room." and I said "Yes, so you werent in the room to witness it, but then you found it relevant to TELL ME OFF." She said nothing to that.


What do you peeps think of this ?

Whos in the wrong ?

Any advice ?!!!

[specialmom]

Okay.  You asked the question "who is in the wrong" and "what do people think".  I was honest with you.  People don't always agree with us when we pose questions.  

Hope you are working hard, going to school, doing job training so that you can leave your parents home sooner rather than later.  At 18, you should be close.  good luck

[dogcrazie892]

Hi, I do not agree on your opinion.

[specialmom]

Well, dear. You are an adult in their home wanting to be treated like a 9 year old.  I would try to see it that way.  It's never going to be fair because you are twice her age.  It is her parents (your parents) role to parent her, not yours.  At some point, moving out may be your best option if you resent her.  They don't favor her but instead, it is impossible to compare you two.  She's 9.  You're 18.  Massive difference.

yes, parents can ask kids to help. But the parents do that.  You were showing that you are jealous, they could tell and perhaps didn't want that situation to escalate so let you know that you don't tell her what to do, they do.  ???  

good luck

[dogcrazie892]

Hi,

Thanks for the advice, Im jealous and still dont understand how its fair to punish somebody when they havent done anything wrong. I know I wont do that to my children.

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, I'm the mom of a 9 year old.  They are still pretty young at that age.  Not a bad idea for all kids to have some responsibilities but in truth, that is between your parents and her.  Don't be jealous of her----  but instead, feel good about the fact that you are capable and able to take care of things while hopefully, your little sister will learn.  And little is key.  You are twice her age.  While she may mildly annoy you, that is something you should keep in mind.  

This is your parents home.  Your sister has to live there as she is still a child but you are working our way to living on your own.  This should be motivation for you to get to that point.

It is so very hard for me to compare how your parents treat you verses your little sister because she is so much younger than you.  

So, this is what it is.  If you have a problem, it should be addressed with your parents and NOT the little sister.  She's doing what her parents allow and they have made it clear to you that they don't want you getting mad at HER about it.  so talk calmly to them about your feelings.  
good luck