Compatabilities: shared interest, sexual compatability, shared religious views is very important to me, to avoid problems in the relationship, funny, sense of humor, slow to anger, great personality, considerate, respectable, has moral values, trustworthy, dependable, honest, good provider, good communicator, handsome and if you find him, send him my way!!!!
Personality, i.e. wit, charm, an up-beat attitude, great communication skills and the ability to smile will trump good looks and brains anytime. Oh, for some, money/ income might be considered a quality; but, it's not. It's part of the "packaging"... along-side of good looks. It's appeal is superficial, short term and could never make up for the lack of a great personality.
A woman that appreciates me for how hard I work to provide for her and the family, even if I don’t make 100 grand a year, even if I can’t find a full time job in today economy. Even if I don’t put the toilet seat down most of the time or pick up my socks. I will work as much as I can and I do think she is the most beautiful woman in the world, even if it is my option.
I wanted a woman that would meet me at the door with a smile and a hug at the end of my day and want to hug and kiss me. After having a little bit to unwind from the day, she would cuddle up next to me and we would talk about the good and bad things all couples need to discus, and if the kids are in bed, well maybe she has something on besides old sweats on.
When I do the things that I know will make her happy, like surprise her with dinner or a special night out or a new pair of ear rings, she admires me for how much effort I put in to trying and I don’t hear “well you could have”. She wants to be my arm candy and thinks I am the hottest guy in the crown, even if I am the biggest geek.
For this woman I would work 42 hours a day to provide her, make sure the toilet seat is down and bringer her flowers even if they were daisies I pick along the road. I would never cheat on her or want another woman no matter how much she tried to flirt with me. For this woman I would gladly give my life for to protect her from any type of harm.
The good catch qualities depends on each person. What could be great for me, could be a turn off for others.
For me, it's always the little things that matter. My perfect man would be like the song "More than words". It's basically describing that he would show me how much he loved me so that I would never have to wonder or question it. If I could take the words "I love you" out of his vocabulary, I would still know.
Someone who would care for my family as much as I care about his. He would never let either of us go to bed angry. He would never say "I love you" without meaning it... he would never say "I'm sorry" without meaning it. Someone who would take care of me and let me take care of him. Someone who would think that I'm at my most beautiful, when I'm sick as a dog. Someone who would treat me as an equal. Someone who would wake up and think "I'm so lucky she picked me".
Finally, someone who would bring me flowers or my favorite kind of ice cream.... just because! It's nice to celebrate bdays and anniversaries. It's even better when you do something just because.
Of course, that doesn't exist for all of us. Some of us find our soul mates and some of us do not. It's all about fate.
Has anyone here though, ever loved someone that was so not for you b/c that person was "not in your league"? That just happened to me recently. I was so fooled yet, at least I didn't get seriously involved with him to be hurt worse (in all aspects).
It's funny sometimes we love the ones that are totally not in our league, unattainable, or unrequited.
I loved the way VicUser put it. Hey, I think I will make sure I do some of those things when my man walks through the door later... (and not forget) They are just the sort of qualities that make relationships bloom... I might even write that down and keep it as a reminder of how to keep things on track. Thanks for that Vic !!!
I've been in a relationship and the guy was not in my league. For five years, ick. But I'm extremely blessed to have the most wonderful man I've ever met in my life. After my five year relationship, I made a list of all of the qualities that I wanted in a man. I wanted respect, honesty, sense of humor, etc, all of those things we all want. I became friends with my husband and was dating other guys (as well as he was dating other girls- because we were "just friends") and I talked to him about EVERYTHING. Things I had never told anyone I was able to tell him. He was honest, he respected me, he listened to me, and he always made me feel good about myself. So I guess you can say he was right under my nose. We would talk on the phone for hours and when our batteries ran out, he would come over and we'd talk some more. Then we would go to breakfast. He was the first person I would call when I woke up, and if anything came up, i.e, gossip, a problem, something funny I saw on TV, and the last person I spoke to before I went to sleep. And it went both ways. Eventually we just couldn't deny that we needed to be together. We had everything a marriage should have, but we weren't being intimate and we didn't have that title. When we finally did make it official, we stayed exactly the same, both agreeing to lose contact with everyone either of us had ever slept with, changing our phone numbers, and moving to a different city. We didn't want anyone to try and disrupt our happiness, and believe me, they were trying- for some reason people hate to see you happy. Over the last few years, we've kept the communication going (we argue, but we always work it out, same-day action), we are so passionately intimate,and we have respect for one another. I never in a million years imagined that someone could love me with the same intensity that I loved them. I would do (legally) anything for him, and him for me. He has always been a good provider, an excellent lover, and my best friend. We've even had our marriage put to the test when I got deathly ill and he was laid off at the same time. We got through it together. For better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. We have lived up to those vows and I trust him with all of my heart. Our love for one another is reciprocated each day because the more he does for me, the more I want to do for him and vice-versa and it just keeps building up. I love seeing him happy and he loves seeing me happy. People think we are so disgusting (in a good way)! He makes me happy and I miss him when we're not together. I love this feeling, and it's something that I wish everyone could have. It makes me tear up just thinking about what God has given me. When you find the right guy, you'll know it's right. I've never had any doubt that my husband would be my husband someday, and I have no doubt that we can always work things out. Don't go looking for him, though. He'll find you, and it will be when you least expect it. Trust me, though, you will know because everything will feel like it fits. You won't have to stop being who you are or change one single thing about you. Someone is going to love you for you and you for them. It's a beautiful thing. We started off with a solid foundation too. We knew each other so well before we were ever intimate, and I believe that that is one of the biggest mistakes people make- jumping in bed way too soon. If the sex is great it's all you want to do instead of spend time getting to know each other. I don't think there are really any specific "good catch qualities." I think it all depends on what your standards are. If you want respect, communication, trust, and someone who loves you for you, it'll happen when you're ready and you will get just that because you won't settle for anything less and you won't have to compromise who you are to appease someone else. My husband prefers that I be myself all the time as I do him, no matter what anyone else thinks. I just had to share that. God bless.
Dang, that was awesome!!! Just had to tell you that!
My husband treats me just like that, and I find that I return the favor to him in just the way you described without even having to think about it; the way I feel for him by the way he treats me *causes* me to treat him that way in return without even thinking about it or trying, and I'm sure it's vice-versa. I know we're newlyweds, but we've been together for two years, and our relationship has functioned like that from the beginning, so I hope it stays that way--I don't plan to change much, and I'm sure he doesn't either--and I consider that a good thing. ☺
And what you wrote: "She wants to be my arm candy and thinks I am the hottest guy in the crown, even if I am the biggest geek." LOL--I thought that was the best part, because my husband IS the biggest geek (electrical engineer who is still big into collecting and playing with Transformers action figures, lol), but my gosh, I think he is just so dang HOT, and he knows I'll be his arm candy at any given time of the day!
Anyway, as for the original question, what I consider a good catch is a man who meets and/or exceeds all my personal standards and/or expectations that I have of how we, together, should function in a healthy, respectful, loving relationship.
In my past, I experienced too many years in an emotionally/verbally abusive, controlling relationship, so when I finally broke free from that, I was determined to not "repeat the cycle." I was determined to find a man who, in reality, I thought was impossible to exist for me, so I also decided I'd be okay with living the rest of my life single in order to avoid that ever again. That's not what I wanted out of life, but even moreso, I didn't want to ever be hurt, controlled, or disappointed again.
I actually made a list of what I wanted and expected from a man in a relationship. It was a list of every standard and expectation I could possibly think of, and I didn't hold back. I was completely unwilling to compromise more than three things on that list if I got to know a guy I was interested in.
Turns out, the man who is now my husband meets all but one or two of those standards and expectations I had on that list.
I think he's the greatest! I tell him he's my Knight in Shining Armor all the time, lol!
I think it's great that so many people in the world have found "the one" yet, for other singles such as myself, it can be a bit disheartening since, many of us singles are good people & tried MANY options but, it's just not "happening". That's frustration too. However, in my real life, I'm a good, positive person. It's just when the lonely weekend rolls around & no plans are made & there's no single friends to have fun with. Being alone on the weekend ALL of the time too, is no fun either.
I was considering taking some classes or joining some sporting groups or even just going over to Barnes & Noble. See, I have NO single friends so, whomever comes with me for "help" is married. Therefore, I am always a 3rd wheel. I will admit that I'm glad that I'm not that passive or clingy to be alone & I do appreciate their help.
It's just frustrating though when you see all these other people around you, being loved, adored, happy yet, internally you keep asking yourself what's wrong with you when you've done SO many activities to meet someone & it hasn't happened.
Sorry for the venting of my frustration but, at least I'm honest. :)
a good catch..is alot of the things a person dreams about being with..of curse these would be the most important wons..trust is 100% perfect respects you in all ways..never raises their voice..helps take care of kids..works and not a couch potato...and you never have to worrie of anything..
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