What is your view on porn? Open forum.

[scaredincanada]

Do you find porn to be degrading regarding the image of women? How many of you get p##sed off to find porn material in your house, etc. especially after a HUGE emotional disaster? Especially if he won't even bother to cuddle with you but still tells you that he loves you. What would you consider healthy, as opposed to offensive?

[munecamya]

beautifully said!!!

[sammie_s]

Okay so there are different opinions on porn obviously.  Most are about the same though.  The thing is that I know my b/f is addicted to it.  At first it bothered me then I decided okay this is something he enjoys.  So I told him to include me in on it.  Well, he did but yet he still goes behind my back and watches it.  Then when I ask him about it he lies to me.  If I have told him I don't care then why does he feel he still has to lie to me.  It does affect our relationship big time.  He hard every cuddles with me except when he wants something.  I have tried to talk to him about it but it always ends up turning into an arguement and nothing gets solved.  I am to the point that I just figure I need to get out while I can.  He has even told me he loves it and wouldn't give it up.  So am I right to think that I should get out?  I just know it makes me feel really bad about myself.  I deserve someone who wants to be with me right?

[Aaron1]

Hi first of all i'd like to say i'm an 18 year old male and i'm compleatly against porn because it is degrading, humiliating and teaches males to treat women as sex objects not as people;As human being with feelings, dreams, hopes and desires just as males do.I've done alot of reasearch into porn and the effects of it although not by looking at it or watching it and the usual reasons why women are in porn is because they need the money either to make a living due to no qualifications, have addictions,or have very little self-worth usually due to being sexually abused as children 55% of women in porn have said this is the reason.I've got alot more facts to back up my anti-porn stance so if you want more facts you can check out a website called http://www.oneangrygirl.net/antiporn.html or you can e-mail me at ***@****-Thanks for reading this-Aaron

[her_purple_pixieness]

It's awful. I agree with you - I think pornography is disgusting and wrong. Before my boyfriend and I got very serious, he would occasionally watch porn and I found out. I went absolutely spare. I was so hurt to think that he would rather be wanking over these degraded tarts than to call me up for a bit of filthy phone talk. I felt so strongly about it, and for once in my life put my case across coherently and strongly that I made him cry. He realised how awful it must feel for me. So no, I think it's appalling. If I found it in the house now I'd probably show my feelings by kicking him out to think about what he'd done.

[MSWEETIE]

PORN IS VERY UNGODLY AND ONLY LEADS TO TEMPTATION AND UNHAPPINESS. I WOULD NOT ALLOW IN MY HOUSE!!!

[scaredincanada]

K, well what is a girl to think if ALL intimacy has stopped since ectopic pregnancy (on going now for 6 weeks), including talking, or cuddling, all I find is smut all over my computer and house, and has been told that he does not feel empathetic/sympathetic due to previous doings and I deserve everything I am going thru? BUT apologizes for it the next day, which leads me to believe that everything will be sunshine and lollipops?

He says he loves me but does not find me attractive due to what I am going thru. How the f*** am I to believe this when I find this **** everywhere, and the only hug I get is on the computer?

What would be going thru your mind at this time? Be honest, please, and if you have to brutally honest, I respect that as well, I need a good reality smack right now, so please do not sugar coat it. Thank you

[Kibbit25]

My husband used to look at porn at college (all guys do.)  He stopped when he was with me, but we have a mutual agreement that he is allowed to do it if I "deny" him for a while.  I think that is fair.  That never happened yet and I was actually thinking of going to an Adult Store and buying a few DVDs for us to watch and get some ideas.  We have been married for 3 years and have a 2 year old and a 7 month old.  (He is 26 and I'm 25.)I think if a guy is looking at it and not thinking about his woman doing it, then it is sorta cheating, but not really.  I think it's fun role playing and it does make sex life hot.

[sparkeler]

I think it's hot.  It can do wonders for a relationship.

[fearfactor]

I am against it as it degrades women and/or men, children, animals, etc. (seriously).  Sex should be beautiful and I think porn cheapens it and turns it into something tawdry.  I would NEVER in a trillion years allow it in my home, if my husband felt like he needed to look at other people to get aroused then by all means he doesn't need to be with me.  If I'm not enough for you, then hit the road, Jack!

[kris123]

As far as porn goes only the couple can decide "what would you consider healthy, as opposed to offensive"  I will not be with anyone that watches porn.  I don't like it and would not want my parter to watch it.  It is unhealthy for me.  Someone else may think it is ok - fine.  if you are ok with it, then there should be no problems.  i got a girlfriend that collects porn movies and her and her husband watch it togeater - they have no problems because they are both ok with it.  if one is ok with it and one not ther can be problems.

[ryn21]

I really dont see the problem with it.  Porn can sometimes bring excitement back into a relationship, rekindle the spark so to speak.  I believe that pornographic material can also be somewhat educational.

To the flipside, when a person chooses to watch porn (obsessively) rather than do everyday activities (ie with spouse or partner) then there is a problem.

Sex is nothing to be mad or embarrased about and neither is watching it.  I wouldnt get mad about your partner having it in the house. However, if you feel somewhat uncomfortable about porn, you need to discuss it with your partner.  If you feel that he neglects you of the proper 'loving' that you need (due to porn obsession), this definitely needs to be discussed.

[leif ericson]

thats just it, porn is in the eye of the beholder.
i know some girls who love it, i mean LOVE IT !
others can't stand it, i think it may be an insecurity issue too
for some girls.  is it degrading ? all depends on the "kind" of porn it is, some are, some are degrading to men (if your into that sort of thing) so who knows, it's up to you two to decide
if it stays or if it goes, have a sit down and talk it out.
he should respect you and thats the bottom line !!
l.e.





p.s. respecting your partner's needs goes both ways.

[PlateletGal]

Porn doesn't belong in my house. It is for some people, but it isn't for me.

[JJety]

I agree with ryn21.  It can add spark if needed.  I also agree with leif, that it could possibly be an insecurity issue to be overly opposed to it.

To each their own and it should definitely be discussed rather than him just assuming you won't care and you not discussing it and just being mad.  Neither of those scenarios will do the relationship any good.

[glad2bamom]

As some of you know, I've struggled with this issue in our home.  DH accidentally left some porn on the oomputer that my kids use.  Duh!
So, although I find it degrading...I know that boys will be boys.  I know he is faithful, and I know he loves me.  As someone on here (Patrick???) pointed out, it may be no different than me reading a smutty romance novel.  It triggers similar reactions for both of us.

Regardless, we discussed it, and it is inappropriate to do at home, especially where the children could potentially find it.  So, I guess the answer is, as long as its on the laptop, and I don't risk my kids seeing it, I can't really teach an old dog new tricks.

[duckielala]

I wouldnt allow it in my house. thats just my opinion though. I do think its degrading and totally unecessary for a man to watch it when he is in a relationship.

[pertykitty]

I think porn in general is no biggie. if it degrades women, well they let them. i think if someone wants to be a star so be it! now if it interferes with day to day activities, relationships ect. its the person not the porn that is the problem. some get "addicted" or lose a sense of reality at times. then THAT is the problem.