Aa
What to do? I am in messed situation
I come from a conservative family. I have been with 10+ women either via relationship or one night stands. Some how none of relationship lasted more than a year. I guess we were never meant to be together.
My parents believe I am sexually in active since it's a sin.
Now my parents want me to get married so they set me up with a girl, a family friend daughter. I knew her when we were under 8 years. I started talking to her for over a month every day for hours over the phone since she live in different state than me. We sometimes talk by skipping meal and sleep. It's like one of those dreams.
I feel we are falling in love and she might be the one. How odd that my parents found the girl of dream.
Now I am having a trouble with my genital region. Haven't been with anyone for way over a year.
I was tested after my last relationship as a routine test and all were perfect. But never tested for the herpes. Since no symptoms. Since 2 months I have rashes on and off. Still trying to diagnose with doctor about the cause.
I like her way too much and i dont want to hurt her in anyway.
What should I do now? If i tell her this it will go to my parents since she is super close to her parents. If my parents know I was sexually active they will be extremely disappointed.
If i had a time machine I would go back and not have any relationships I had before. But that is not possible.
What do I do? I am planning to get tested for herpes soon but I am lacking the courage to go ahead with that because of results and it's impact on relationship. BTW she is a virgin makes it even more hard.
What do I do :(
My parents believe I am sexually in active since it's a sin.
Now my parents want me to get married so they set me up with a girl, a family friend daughter. I knew her when we were under 8 years. I started talking to her for over a month every day for hours over the phone since she live in different state than me. We sometimes talk by skipping meal and sleep. It's like one of those dreams.
I feel we are falling in love and she might be the one. How odd that my parents found the girl of dream.
Now I am having a trouble with my genital region. Haven't been with anyone for way over a year.
I was tested after my last relationship as a routine test and all were perfect. But never tested for the herpes. Since no symptoms. Since 2 months I have rashes on and off. Still trying to diagnose with doctor about the cause.
I like her way too much and i dont want to hurt her in anyway.
What should I do now? If i tell her this it will go to my parents since she is super close to her parents. If my parents know I was sexually active they will be extremely disappointed.
If i had a time machine I would go back and not have any relationships I had before. But that is not possible.
What do I do? I am planning to get tested for herpes soon but I am lacking the courage to go ahead with that because of results and it's impact on relationship. BTW she is a virgin makes it even more hard.
What do I do :(
You don't need to call off a relationship because of your past. You're not a bad person for having sex.
Going to the doctor to get tested for STD's is a must. That's part of being responsible. Not knowing about your health, then possibly causing health issues for someone you care about is not fair though.
Being in a relationship or being sexually active comes with responsibilities and respect for yourself and others. Stay healthy, keep your partners healthy.
Going to the doctor to get tested for STD's is a must. That's part of being responsible. Not knowing about your health, then possibly causing health issues for someone you care about is not fair though.
Being in a relationship or being sexually active comes with responsibilities and respect for yourself and others. Stay healthy, keep your partners healthy.
You are SOMEONE GOOD honey, prior sexual relationships don't make you a bad person for goodness sake...
Maybe you should consider telling your parents you have had a relationship, you don't need to get into how many, it's no one's business but yours..
I don't agree that you should have to tell this girl how many partners either, though i agree that you could tell her that you in a relationship for a year and it just did not work out...
It would be such a shame for you and this girl not to have a chance, if you are both into each other and it might be the perfect relationship for you both,
Please, think about making it short and sweet and telling your parents that you didn't want to disappoint them but the truth is that you have had experience in dating a couple of women,IF they do ask you how many, stand up and tell them that it's not important...but honey, in order to be able to say It's not important, and have people believe it, YOU have to believe, it..........
BELIEVE ME , it's NOT IMPORTANT..
do our children know what your sex life was prior to the union of their parents, ? NO they don't , they don't care , they only care about what happens when their parents got together,
What are you going to do, NEVER be good enough for anyone ?
Marry outside of your cultural background because you're not good enough?
What is it about you , after having had sex with a women, that makes you NOT GOOD ENOUGH ? Can you even answer that ? Is there an answer to that ? I don't think so....
Don't blow this all out of proportion because of antiquated ideas about what is good or bad ... the act of concentual sex between two adults should be kept private and behind closed doors, and is no ones business but the persons involved....
Please don't buy into silly labels...you've done nothing to earn a negative label being an experienced lover. ...
think long and hard before you label yourself or let anyone else do it for you...
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON..YOU DESERVE EVERY HAPPINESS`
Maybe you should consider telling your parents you have had a relationship, you don't need to get into how many, it's no one's business but yours..
I don't agree that you should have to tell this girl how many partners either, though i agree that you could tell her that you in a relationship for a year and it just did not work out...
It would be such a shame for you and this girl not to have a chance, if you are both into each other and it might be the perfect relationship for you both,
Please, think about making it short and sweet and telling your parents that you didn't want to disappoint them but the truth is that you have had experience in dating a couple of women,IF they do ask you how many, stand up and tell them that it's not important...but honey, in order to be able to say It's not important, and have people believe it, YOU have to believe, it..........
BELIEVE ME , it's NOT IMPORTANT..
do our children know what your sex life was prior to the union of their parents, ? NO they don't , they don't care , they only care about what happens when their parents got together,
What are you going to do, NEVER be good enough for anyone ?
Marry outside of your cultural background because you're not good enough?
What is it about you , after having had sex with a women, that makes you NOT GOOD ENOUGH ? Can you even answer that ? Is there an answer to that ? I don't think so....
Don't blow this all out of proportion because of antiquated ideas about what is good or bad ... the act of concentual sex between two adults should be kept private and behind closed doors, and is no ones business but the persons involved....
Please don't buy into silly labels...you've done nothing to earn a negative label being an experienced lover. ...
think long and hard before you label yourself or let anyone else do it for you...
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON..YOU DESERVE EVERY HAPPINESS`
Thanks a lot for all the response and suggestions.
I decided to call it off. I am no good for her. It might break her heart. She will get over me in few days and then she can find someone good.
I decided to call it off. I am no good for her. It might break her heart. She will get over me in few days and then she can find someone good.
I think you don't have much to worry about. Just remember, the sooner you get the rash thing figured out with your doc, the sooner it will go away and you can quit stressing about it. I'm sure it's just a rash, not an STD. Although you're afraid of your parents finding out you're not a virgin, I do think you should be honest with this woman, if you do end up marrying her (and I mean, tell her before you get married, so she doesn't feel betrayed and lied to). Ask her respectfully to keep it between you two, since it's so personal, and you want to have a relationship that's built on trusting each other. If she's not able to do that for you, I'm not sure she's the one. Plus, it may also turn out that she's not really a virgin, after all, either! So then you're both in the same boat. Either way, it's better to be honest with her up front, than for her to find out sometime later on, from one of your ex flings or some other way. That will cause a major strain on your marriage, and it's completely avoidable.
You're jumping too far ahead.
Why not continue to get to know this woman before worrying about having sex with her and giving her an STD? It's too soon to be worried about having sex with her.
I would recommend you get yourself sorted just so you know where you stand with your health.
Why not continue to get to know this woman before worrying about having sex with her and giving her an STD? It's too soon to be worried about having sex with her.
I would recommend you get yourself sorted just so you know where you stand with your health.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Well, this is the relationships forum so will not discuss your rashes other than to say that this doesn't sound like herpes. Herpes are sores, not a rash and they hurt. You most likely do not have herpes and a simple blood test can confirm that.
As to your girlfriend, if you have a rash, we all get rashes. This really shouldn't be a consideration or anything to have lots of worry about. The whole your parents think you are a virgin thing is not something to worry about either as they aren't going to be in the bedroom with you when you have sex with her the first time.
If you are wanting to be rash free before any sexual relations, this makes sense. And is not a big deal to continue not having sex with her. Your family believes you to be a virgin--- so why would all of a sudden waiting to have sex with someone be an issue? Just wait.
Don't let anxiety interfere with rational thought. good luck
As to your girlfriend, if you have a rash, we all get rashes. This really shouldn't be a consideration or anything to have lots of worry about. The whole your parents think you are a virgin thing is not something to worry about either as they aren't going to be in the bedroom with you when you have sex with her the first time.
If you are wanting to be rash free before any sexual relations, this makes sense. And is not a big deal to continue not having sex with her. Your family believes you to be a virgin--- so why would all of a sudden waiting to have sex with someone be an issue? Just wait.
Don't let anxiety interfere with rational thought. good luck
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