What would you do?

[HeatherLynB]

So i noticed that my husband has been talking to an old friend from his growing up days alot. She just had a baby, maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago and hes always commenting on her pictures and her statuses and they inbox eachother quite often. Usually about how theyre doing and how are the kids stuff like that. Well i went on his FB account and she messaged him "hi my love" i am not sure how to take this. Any advice on how i should approach him on it? Or if i should be worried? It is bothering me, but i dont want to over react...i dont know, im so lost right now...

[RockRose]

Oh,  sorry,  in rereading,  I see it was SHE who messaged him.  That's a little different.  Some women I guess talk like that.  

The answer though is still basically the same - does she do that kind of thing frivolously?  

Is she married,  or have a significant relationship?   Do you know who the father of her newborn is?

[RockRose]

I think you have to take that statement in the context of your husband's personality.  

Does he say things like this fairly often - terms of endearment that are usually reserved for very close intimate partners - to friends?  

Some guys do,  I guess.

If I read that message on my husband's facebook,  I'd know right then he was having sex with her or trying to.  

It depends on whether this is like your husband or not,  to toss that out.

[specialmom]

Hm.  Here is how things have gone down in my marriage-------- upon meeting my husband, he had tons of female friends.  As time went on and he and I became closer----  I would naturally meet them as we were a couple.  About half or more completely dropped out of the picture pretty quickly.  They were not interested in my husband as part of a couple for some reason.  The other half befriended me.  Some remain good friends of mine to this day.  

So, if this is a friend that you do not know------- I would suggest to your man that you would like to get to know her.  If he is resistent to it, then be suspicious.  

I loathe facebook though for this reason.  My husband has no account and could care less.  I'd not love him talking on a regular basis to women that I wasn't friends with and developed an intimacy that they shared emotionally.

So, tell him you bought a baby gift and maybe the two of you can go over together to meet the baby and give the gift.  good luck

[lovemykids465]

If it bothers you say something. same thing happened to me with my husband and a co worker of his but I did not want to open a can of worms so I kept my mouth shut. Two months later  I found out they had been carrying on an emotional affair.  I found out just before it turned physical. I was devastated. When I told him how I felt two months before he said he wished I would have said something b/c even though he would have denied it he would have felt guilty and put a stop to it.

[Kayannaboo]

What? I say "hi my love" all the time to ANYONE! Unless this man gives u a legitimate reason for snooping around and being suspicious then it is not necessary dear. He grew up with her, she just had a baby they are probably just reconnecting. Stop making yourself crazy. I inbox my friends ALL the time on fb some long *** messages from old friends and people I knew when I was a little younger, doesnt mean I'm dating them all dear. I would watch to see if it becomes excessive but asking how are the kids etc is not alarming.

[Londres70]

"Hi my love?"  

Sure they weren't more than just "old friends?"

By going on his facebook shows you already have your suspicions.  I would ask him about this.  I don't think it is overreacting.