When is it unhealthly for father/daughter relationships

[tiredofsharingmyman2356517]

Daughter is almost 29 and still living at home.  On Valentines Day I received a teddy bear and a rose.  (I'm the girlfriend) He bought his daughter a rose and a card that "made her tear up".  She post it on facebook and He says "welcome baby" Love you.  That's what he calls me!  That bottered me and it make me sick to my stomach.... Is his behavior exceptable or am I the one that is in the unhealthly relationship and have the issues.

[Londres70]

Hmm...."tiredofsharingmyman2356517".......interesting.  Who are you sharing your man with?  Are you referring to his daughter?  I wouldn't recommend trying to make this into a "competition" between his daughter and you.  

I don't really think this is "inappropriate."  I do think that there is some rift or an unhealthy relationship between his daughter and you and/or issues going on in the background.  Other than this, is there something else going on?  Sounds like you are "fed up" with dealing with his daughter.  Are you having an issue with the amount of attention she gets vs yourself?  If that is the case and if you want ALL the attention on you definitely don't get involved or marry a man with children because you won't be the only one getting all the attention.  

I just think the man equally loves you both and just happened to use the same expression to you both.  

My husband sometimes uses the same endearing expressions with his daughter/my stepdaughter and I; no biggie.  

Just curious:  Why is she still living at home at 29 years old?  

Unless you are leaving out other pertinent info, this is an issue not worth worrying about let alone fighting about or making a battle over.    

[specialmom]

Oh, living at home.  Missed that sentence.  But really, have you witnessed anything that is concerning other than they are close?  

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well my dad calls me hon, sweetheatr, honey.  Terms of affection.  Not inappropriate at all in my opinion. The guy who works the drive through at a place my kids like a meal from once in a while calls me those names too.  A little more inappropriate but for some, this is their style.  I would see baby as the same.  And technically she is his baby, his literal one.  I can see your point that it is the same thing he calls you and that is annoying as you thought it was special JUST for you but the way he probably says it to you and then to his daughter are different.  

And that he gave his daughter roses is lovely.  That he took the time to buy her a specific card for her that touched her and made her tear up is a nice thing.  Sometimes we need our parents to make us feel loved once in a while even when we are older as man, it is a cold cruel world out here.  

I wouldn't let this make you feel threatened.  I don't think from what you have written that anything odd is going on.  Maybe there is more you haven't included . . .

His daughter will always be important to him, I'm sure.  This doesn't mean you aren't.  We DO have the capacity to love multiple people at once---  and girlfriend love and daughter love is very different.  

so, unless there is much more to the story, then I'd say you are overreacting.  good luck

[brice1967]

I don't see this as the "two headed monster" that it sounds like it is.  I'm a little concerned that a 29 year old is still living at home.  It is far more common these days.  I know a guy who is 50 and never left the home.... weird, but who am I to judge.

Anyhow, a father is probably always going to think a lot about his daughter.  I don't know a daddy that doesn't.  Girls are just special to daddys.  Besides the card and flower, is there other activity going on that would cause concern?  If not, from your description of events... I'd think its not that big of a deal.

What else is going on that makes the relationship unhealthy?