Aa
Why are men so confusing!
I am in a new relationship. We have been together about two months. When we first started within two weeks of actually dating he wanted to take a break which confused me. But he said it was just because he didn't want to mess things up and he really cared for me. I just don't know. I'm so confused.
On weekends he doesn't talk to me he I always busy but then texts me he misses me an stuff but e won't ever call or text so like how could you miss me so much but never put the effort.
This weekend he has only texted a few times
I haven't gotten my period so we are worried but he just texted me asked of I got my period an neve replied so that hurts
Very upset. Who knows what to do.
I think he is just going to end up leaving. Misewell prepare myself now I guess
Any advice?
On weekends he doesn't talk to me he I always busy but then texts me he misses me an stuff but e won't ever call or text so like how could you miss me so much but never put the effort.
This weekend he has only texted a few times
I haven't gotten my period so we are worried but he just texted me asked of I got my period an neve replied so that hurts
Very upset. Who knows what to do.
I think he is just going to end up leaving. Misewell prepare myself now I guess
Any advice?
Specialmom pretty much said it all.
If he does contact you ever again, I am sure it will be ONLY for drinks and sex as you have set the precedence with him by having sex with him too quickly.
If you want more, i.e. a relationship, this isn't the way to go.
If he does contact you ever again, I am sure it will be ONLY for drinks and sex as you have set the precedence with him by having sex with him too quickly.
If you want more, i.e. a relationship, this isn't the way to go.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, having sex right off the bat does set up a scenario that can end like this unfortunately. It takes a casual get together to a whole new level. He's now had sex with you and might feel like the chase is over, that you do that with guys on a regular basis and it isn't special with you, or just may not be interested right now. Or he may call next time he wants another drunken encounter.
Either way, this doesn't sound good. I'd do your very best to get to know a guy better before sleeping with them. I know it is hard but it protects your emotions from getting so involved if it doesn't work out. Does that make sense?
Hold yourself in the highest esteem and make sure every man respects you. good luck
Either way, this doesn't sound good. I'd do your very best to get to know a guy better before sleeping with them. I know it is hard but it protects your emotions from getting so involved if it doesn't work out. Does that make sense?
Hold yourself in the highest esteem and make sure every man respects you. good luck
Theres this guy, he found me, I wasn't looking, we talked for 3 days before we met and went out, everything was crazy cause we had everything common. It totally surprised me. We went out had a really good time, we both got a little drunk and he stayed over at my house and we had fun. The next 2 days he kept in touch which shocked me cause we had drunk sex on the first night. He came over again and watched movies and stayed the night. I told him sorry if I came on to strong and he said I came back didn't I, I said yes u did. After that we had sex. The next morning he got up to go to work, he gave me a hug and that was it. Now I haven't heard from him unless I text him! What is up with that?
I'm really sorry this has happened but you deserve for someone to be 100% IN TO YOU! I think you will find this was in your best interest in the long run and I hope you will be very happy with someone else. ((hugs))
he is just a boyfriend, and after 2 months I think it has to boyfriEND, he doesn't want to stay? very well, just make sure you know his full name, address, and I'd number to file for child support
Hi everyone -
Yes, please leave the judgmental statements out. Whatever your personal feelings about sex are, we are a support and info site, and we can't be those if members aren't being supportive, but rather insulting, with their advice.
Thanks,
Emily
Yes, please leave the judgmental statements out. Whatever your personal feelings about sex are, we are a support and info site, and we can't be those if members aren't being supportive, but rather insulting, with their advice.
Thanks,
Emily
COMMUNITY LEADER
I do want to ask though that we give advice in a way that is kind and gentle to the poster. You can express the value of taking your time sleeping with a new man without insinuating someone is easy or anything insulting. Please, let's be respectful. I know everyone wants to help and that is so appreciated!!
Listen to Shelly, she know's her ****!
So, I'm a guy. Let me tell you this story. I hooked up with a girl in college, I thought she was cute, she was. Nice friendly, we had fun - never had sex with her though, but I was pretty content with this girl. Then one night, I met another girl at a fraternity party. I was being introduced by one of the guys in my fraternity to the first group of girls to arrive. One by one I shook hands with them, then by the time I got to about the 5th one, I was instantaneously completely dumbfounded by her. Every other girl in that group just vanished and I thought I had never seen such a beautiful person ever ever ever before. To most, she was probably seen as sort of average, I don't know, I just know that I saw the world's kindest eyes and most beautiful smile.
I tell people I would have figured out how to get through a concrete wall to be with her - that is no joke. She is my wife now. The other girl, well, I kind of forgot about her, there was nothing I could do. Sounds mean, and it was to the other girl and this is coming from a pretty kind, nice guy. Couldn't hurt a fly but I had no choice.
I'm not trying to be mean, but you wanted to understand guys. Right off the bat, I think you are dealing with someone who is not totally one million percent in love. That's what you want, that's what you deserve. Hold your head up and find a guy who'll conquer the world for you, not treat you like that.
Trust your gut but also trust chemistry - it's a funky thing!
So, I'm a guy. Let me tell you this story. I hooked up with a girl in college, I thought she was cute, she was. Nice friendly, we had fun - never had sex with her though, but I was pretty content with this girl. Then one night, I met another girl at a fraternity party. I was being introduced by one of the guys in my fraternity to the first group of girls to arrive. One by one I shook hands with them, then by the time I got to about the 5th one, I was instantaneously completely dumbfounded by her. Every other girl in that group just vanished and I thought I had never seen such a beautiful person ever ever ever before. To most, she was probably seen as sort of average, I don't know, I just know that I saw the world's kindest eyes and most beautiful smile.
I tell people I would have figured out how to get through a concrete wall to be with her - that is no joke. She is my wife now. The other girl, well, I kind of forgot about her, there was nothing I could do. Sounds mean, and it was to the other girl and this is coming from a pretty kind, nice guy. Couldn't hurt a fly but I had no choice.
I'm not trying to be mean, but you wanted to understand guys. Right off the bat, I think you are dealing with someone who is not totally one million percent in love. That's what you want, that's what you deserve. Hold your head up and find a guy who'll conquer the world for you, not treat you like that.
Trust your gut but also trust chemistry - it's a funky thing!
I hate to say this, but it sounds like this guy was just using you for the sex. He saw he had an easy target and went for it. This possible "pregnancy" obviously sent him running for the hills. That's why he is gone.
You have to present yourself with higher standards to a guy/man. If he sees you don't have any self-respect for yourself or high standards then you are basically giving him a "carte blanche" to treat you badly.
In your situation, it is not that men are "confusing," but that you are making poor choices and need to work on that; date smarter. Don't give yourself 100% too soon to ANY man.
You have to present yourself with higher standards to a guy/man. If he sees you don't have any self-respect for yourself or high standards then you are basically giving him a "carte blanche" to treat you badly.
In your situation, it is not that men are "confusing," but that you are making poor choices and need to work on that; date smarter. Don't give yourself 100% too soon to ANY man.
She wasn't 'too easy'. She liked someone, and had sex with them. Many women do this, so there's no need to get at her for doing so. Just because it would be too early for you, doesn't mean it was too early for her and there's no need to put someone down for that. She was asking for advice NOT to be ridiculed by people.
I agree, that the guy seems to be not very nice, and you CAN do much better. I agree with specialmom - you should raise your standards and can do better than men like him.
I agree, that the guy seems to be not very nice, and you CAN do much better. I agree with specialmom - you should raise your standards and can do better than men like him.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Dear, I say this with great concern-------- that you wanted HIM and HE had to break up with you is very upsetting. You don't seem to feel you deserve to be treated very well and if that doesn't change and you don't raise your standards, you'll have guys like this over and over. Patterns repeat. Can you get some counseling??? Would that be possible? You need to expect more from a man in your life. goodluck
Yeah well he broke up with me today. So that is that. Who knows why but obviously he doesn't want a relationship.
I was too naive and fell for it.
I was too naive and fell for it.
The ultimatum. Either get an abortion or we are done. I think that right there tells you what kind of guy he is and that his interest is not 100% into your relationship with him. It also sounds like there is a lack of respect in the relationship (more-so on his part from what you have stated). My thought... what kind of person is he really if he can seemingly shrug off this situation both of you partook in? He appears to like quick and easy solutions instead of trying to work through the problem (e.g. saying abortion or no relationship), and likes to take the least resistant path (e.g. not taking the time to put on a condom when he said he did).
Have you thought about if the test results come back negative would you want to continue the relationship you have with this guy? Could this be a healthy relationship anymore (if it even was in the first place)? What are the deal-breakers for you in a relationship and would you be able/feel comfortable enough to negotiate on?
Have you thought about if the test results come back negative would you want to continue the relationship you have with this guy? Could this be a healthy relationship anymore (if it even was in the first place)? What are the deal-breakers for you in a relationship and would you be able/feel comfortable enough to negotiate on?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi. I agree with Londres and Tinkerbell.
Here is the thing-------- I really believe in balance in a relationship. That they make as much effort OR MORE than you do. Yep, I'll go ahead and say it-------- my husband has always been the one to make the most effort. I'd have said that he loved me more than I loved him early on. Oh, don't get me wrong----------- I loved him. But I never for one second thought I cared for him more than he did for me.
I've done it the other way around in which I was more into him than he me . . . and THAT stinks!! So, you have to be confident that the feelings are at the very least mutual!! And he seems to be telling you that they aren't-------- in action and in words when he says he won't be with you unless you have an abortion (Let's pray you aren't expecting).
Why I'm concerned is that when a young woman ties herself to a man and 'really cares for him' and he doesn't treat her very well------------ I begin to wonder why her expectations in a partner are so low. This is something for you to explore so that you find someone that makes you feel special, like a princess, like his queen! You deserve nothing less and should try to seek that for yourself. At the very least, find a man that treats you like he gives a darn! good luck
Here is the thing-------- I really believe in balance in a relationship. That they make as much effort OR MORE than you do. Yep, I'll go ahead and say it-------- my husband has always been the one to make the most effort. I'd have said that he loved me more than I loved him early on. Oh, don't get me wrong----------- I loved him. But I never for one second thought I cared for him more than he did for me.
I've done it the other way around in which I was more into him than he me . . . and THAT stinks!! So, you have to be confident that the feelings are at the very least mutual!! And he seems to be telling you that they aren't-------- in action and in words when he says he won't be with you unless you have an abortion (Let's pray you aren't expecting).
Why I'm concerned is that when a young woman ties herself to a man and 'really cares for him' and he doesn't treat her very well------------ I begin to wonder why her expectations in a partner are so low. This is something for you to explore so that you find someone that makes you feel special, like a princess, like his queen! You deserve nothing less and should try to seek that for yourself. At the very least, find a man that treats you like he gives a darn! good luck
OMGolly!!
You began this post saying You've been together 2 months!!
and
You said on weekends He doesn't talk to You!!
yet
You're talking a possible pregnancy !!??
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ??!!
You need to take responsibility for Your Own Behavior.
Don't be having sex UNTIL You are in a committed relationship....and if You have sex BEFORE a "committed" relationship then
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR (it really IS that simple!!)
f You want "respect" and if You want "commitment", You have to EARN it and You don't do that by having sex with a guy right from the "get go", You wait for the commitment !!
You began this post saying You've been together 2 months!!
and
You said on weekends He doesn't talk to You!!
yet
You're talking a possible pregnancy !!??
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ??!!
You need to take responsibility for Your Own Behavior.
Don't be having sex UNTIL You are in a committed relationship....and if You have sex BEFORE a "committed" relationship then
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR (it really IS that simple!!)
f You want "respect" and if You want "commitment", You have to EARN it and You don't do that by having sex with a guy right from the "get go", You wait for the commitment !!
Well....dear, I just hope you aren't pregnant. Sounds like he is just not respectful about much in regards to you. He is NO bf material.
Take the pregnancy test and sort that out.
Always go with your gut and stick to your "guns" about having sex ONLY in a committed relationship; that will SAVE you alot of heartaches and headaches.
Keep us posted.
Take the pregnancy test and sort that out.
Always go with your gut and stick to your "guns" about having sex ONLY in a committed relationship; that will SAVE you alot of heartaches and headaches.
Keep us posted.
Yeah thank you so much. I really do just need to open my eyes. I am normally not the clingy type I don't mind if he goes out. But a call or text saying hey I'm going out I'll talking to you tomorrow or something. It's the while feeling ignored and by cared about to even take the time to tell me why he is doing.
And we had sex early in the relationship once. I felt bad and really wanted to wait until I was in a commutes relationship because of this specific reason.
He said he used a condom and found out later he did not. But I was to stupid to stop it. Caught up in the moment I guess.
And we had sex early in the relationship once. I felt bad and really wanted to wait until I was in a commutes relationship because of this specific reason.
He said he used a condom and found out later he did not. But I was to stupid to stop it. Caught up in the moment I guess.
To add: Your statement..."I just have a gut feeling something is wrong." I would say you are 100% correct. GO with your GUT.
Well.....I don't think this man is confusing, however, I do think you aren't heeding to the "red flags" he has given you.
I am wondering why would you want a relationship with a guy like this or continue this one with him?
Plus, this relationship sounds like it has just moved too fast and is probably freaking him out OR he just doesn't want a relationship with you or anyone right now. As you stated he is going out WITHOUT you to bars with other women? Does that sound like someone who wants to be in a relationship?
You all have ONLY been together two months and you already think you might be pregnant? He obviously doesn't want the baby (if you are pregnant). Then, he is telling you to get rid of it or you can't be with him? GEEZ. He could be thinking you are trying to "trap him" with a child.
I would recommend you open your eyes WIDE and not be too naive dear.
He just doesn't want any of this. Anyone telling you he needs a break after only two weeks of seeing you in the beginning of the relationship then there is a BIG PROBLEM. I am not sure if you are the "clingy" type needing texts and phone calls and need to see him all the time and that's driving him away.
This just isn't going to work. Too many issues too early on in the relationship.
I am wondering why would you want a relationship with a guy like this or continue this one with him?
Plus, this relationship sounds like it has just moved too fast and is probably freaking him out OR he just doesn't want a relationship with you or anyone right now. As you stated he is going out WITHOUT you to bars with other women? Does that sound like someone who wants to be in a relationship?
You all have ONLY been together two months and you already think you might be pregnant? He obviously doesn't want the baby (if you are pregnant). Then, he is telling you to get rid of it or you can't be with him? GEEZ. He could be thinking you are trying to "trap him" with a child.
I would recommend you open your eyes WIDE and not be too naive dear.
He just doesn't want any of this. Anyone telling you he needs a break after only two weeks of seeing you in the beginning of the relationship then there is a BIG PROBLEM. I am not sure if you are the "clingy" type needing texts and phone calls and need to see him all the time and that's driving him away.
This just isn't going to work. Too many issues too early on in the relationship.
Yeah. He has already told me if I'm pregnant either I get an abortion or we can't be together. So it really bothers me. I'm not sure what to do but I'll be taking a test tomorrow morning.
We live close by so we get to see eachother a good amount. Weekends are normally the time we see eachother this weekend with the holiday I couldn't come. And I guess he has been busy with his family as well so ugh
I just have a gut feeling something is wrong
When we aren't together he goes out to bars constantly with women I really dislike
He never understands my concerns
We live close by so we get to see eachother a good amount. Weekends are normally the time we see eachother this weekend with the holiday I couldn't come. And I guess he has been busy with his family as well so ugh
I just have a gut feeling something is wrong
When we aren't together he goes out to bars constantly with women I really dislike
He never understands my concerns
He might be overwhelmed with the possibility of you being pregnant - it is a huge life changing event. It doesn't mean he has stopped caring, but he might really need time to himself right now.
I would say it is a good thing that he is still txting you, even if it is not as often as you would like. Next time you talk with him on the phone (or even better, in person) tell him about your concerns in a constructive manner. Don't try to have a serious convo through txt... it is too easy for misunderstandings to occur. Then, the best thing you can do is just take whatever he tells you at face value
Are you in a long distance relationship with him? Or do you guys normally only talk/see each other during the weekdays?
I would say it is a good thing that he is still txting you, even if it is not as often as you would like. Next time you talk with him on the phone (or even better, in person) tell him about your concerns in a constructive manner. Don't try to have a serious convo through txt... it is too easy for misunderstandings to occur. Then, the best thing you can do is just take whatever he tells you at face value
Are you in a long distance relationship with him? Or do you guys normally only talk/see each other during the weekdays?
Yeah I do understand that. I may just over think it since texting is horrible and you can't tell emotions at all. Which is why he normally calls me. But I texted him and his responses are just like Kay or been busy. Not really normal for him but I do understand he is probably nervous.
It's just so complicated. Haha
Yeah I'm going to take a test tomorrow if I don't get it today or tomorrow and just put my mind at ease hopefully things will work out.
I really do care for him so I'm afraid I'm pushing him away or something.
It's just so complicated. Haha
Yeah I'm going to take a test tomorrow if I don't get it today or tomorrow and just put my mind at ease hopefully things will work out.
I really do care for him so I'm afraid I'm pushing him away or something.
It's still early days relationship wise, so he perhaps doesn't want to come on too strongly in case you freak out. Also, if you're both concerned you might be pregnant he'll most likely be freaking out too. He'll maybe want to keep his distance at times because he doesn't know what else to do. I do think he cares, otherwise he wouldn't text you. Why would he think to text you if he didn't care? If that makes sense?
I'd wait and see how it goes. Take a pregnancy though, since your period is late and that will put to rest whether you're pregnant or not and you can deal with it from there. You need to talk to him and ask him what he wants though, as you feel as if he's not interested. Let him know that if he's not interested it's better to tell you now rather than lead you on and hurt you more.
I'd wait and see how it goes. Take a pregnancy though, since your period is late and that will put to rest whether you're pregnant or not and you can deal with it from there. You need to talk to him and ask him what he wants though, as you feel as if he's not interested. Let him know that if he's not interested it's better to tell you now rather than lead you on and hurt you more.
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