Will he ever be with me?????

[Butterfly1414]

I have been hanging out with this guy for 9 months now and I have developed extremely strong feeling for him and he has tells me his feelings are the same for me. We tell eachother I Love you. We pretty much act lik we are dating but heres the catch that Im stuck on and could use all the advice I can get...He got out of a 2 and a half year realtionship (I wanna say it ended in 2008 i dont know for sure) and it ended bad between them when we first started hanging out he would tell me that he didnt want to be in a relationship again not for awhile anyways...well as time passed n we hung out more and got to know eachother and spend some nights together feelings got more intense between us....just recently his ex has been bothering him alot and he tells me that he doesnt want anything to do with her and he'll ignore all her texts and phone calls....well we were talking n the topic happened to be his ex and he told me again that after they broke up he didnt want a relationship and he caught me completely off gaurd because he said that I changed his mind about wanting to be with someone again and that he loves and cares for me so much that he feels like I am his girl....but he still not ready yet.....so my big question is whats the best way to get him to be with me so we dont have to hide our feelings from others anymore????? i mean it's pretty obvious but at times its like we r just really good friends and I feel like I can't hold my emotions back anymore.....thanks for any advice...

[Judy246]

Proceed with caution and put your emotion in check right away! This guy is on a rebound and how could it be that you both are not even dating  the right way and telling each other "I Love you"?  There is a lot of mix signals here and he is not ready or stable to offer you a committed exclusive relationship.

You can't change anyone but yourself. I would back off and let him make up his mind if he is ready to open his heart again and commit to a loving relationship, but to be honest with you, I don't see it. Step back and if he approaches you then discuss your feelings and concerns, but if you continue to sleep with the guy, he will have it too easy and not take you serious.  Step back and proceed with caution on he will break your heart.

[imanaddict]

I'm with RockRose here. What she said is exactly what popped in my head as I was reading your post. Tell him how you feel and see where you stand. If he isn't on the same page, then continue to have a friendship, but date other people as well. Keep your options open. I wish you the best!

[AHP84]

What RockRose said...

[RockRose]

Butterfly, he is using you for sex.

Reading your post is awful,  really.  He wants to keep having sex with you but he doesn't want to acknowledge you publicly because he's still available.  

And that's the truth.

I really wish you well.  This whole load of garbage that he was hurt 2 years ago and so he wants to only have sex with you but not acknowledge your relationship publicly is hooey.  

Best wishes,  butterfly.

[Vance2335]

Just be straight with him. Tell him tha either you are with me in a relationship or I am gone. Hanging out for 9 months and if he truly loves you then not being in a relationship should not be a concern of his.