Will we have a future?

[jbloveee]

So to start off, I'm 17 and i've been with my 19 year old boyfriend for 3 years and 2 months. We met when I had just turned 14 and he was 16. I'm going to admit, we got together way too fast. We kissed on the first day we talked. And after that, we liked each other & started hanging out. We had a great friendship at first. After a month of hanging out, we decided to have sex for our first time together & made that day our official date.
Even though we knew each other for only a month, I felt like we knew each other for a long time. I could tell he liked me , I did also. We had that "puppy love" every teenager has.
But after a month of dating , I wasn't too serious enough & decided to cheat on him.
I also forgot to mention that I was a big cheater before I knew him. I wish I could've said something, but why would've I? He would kick me off the curve! Lol
So we broke for a month & got together after that month. I honestly just liked him not love him. He at that time had already fallen head over heels for me . I am the first girl he ever "loved". He has always said till this day that i'm him 'first love'.
But anyways after we got back together, we had a great time during. We use to see each other everyday. We used to go to the beach, hollywood, & all these other places. We just always liked to have fun , but the bad part was during all those times I was still cheating on him. That happened for 6 months and 1/2.  After those 6 months, i finally decided to admit to him. He had said he knew, but loved me too much to leave me. That day , he cried like I never seen him cry. I could tell how hurt he was. I felt kind of bad, but he decided to break up with me.
We broke up for 3 months. During those 3 months, I missed him SOOO much . I then realized I had made a mistake. I was regretting every single thing. I was hoping to get him back one day. So after those 3 months, we talked & I told him I was going to change. So we got back together.
Long story short, I still didn't change. After we got back together, I cheated on him 3 times. After those 3 times, i finally decided to stop. I felt really bad and I had finally realized I did love him.
So since then , I haven't cheated on him. That was two years ago & i'm very happy that I stopped & I absolutely love him with all my heart. But things just haven't been the same since.
Now he hardly sweet talks to me like he used to. He shows some emotions, just not much like before. We hardly go out. I miss all the old times when we had fun. He even admits that we need to bring that "spark" back up in our relationship, but he doesn't even show he wants to. I asked him why can't things be the same & he responded with "they just never will. You need to understand that people change" . I agree 100% , but I just can't accept that ;(
I feel like it's my fauly why we changed. Well actually know it's my fault. I regret every single thing I did to hurt him. I was wayyy too immature and just wanted to have "fun". While he was trying to be serious . I miss us alot. We do still have those "loving" moments, but just wish we can have more than those..
I know we've been together for just 3 years , but we both feel like we've been together since forever! We've been through ups & downs. Even almost became parents :( we went through everything and I just feel like we should try to make this all work .
I want to stay with him for the rest of my life because he's not only my boyfriend, but also my bestfriend. He's the one I talk to about EVERY single thing. We don't always talk like couples, but also like friends. We're very comfortable with each other & I love that about us.
I know some of you are going to say i'm too young to think about a serious relationship & that I should "focus in school" & blah blah blah. But I am focused very good in school. He doesn't distract me So don't mention that .. but I honestly love him because he has changed me in so many ways. & he has taught me so much stuff. He made me feel what love feels. I just wish we'll one day bring that spark back up again.
He also said he doesn't show much because he hated me at one point & some of that hate is still covering the love he always had for me. & i'm guessing it was because of my cheating. But he admits that he still loves me deep down inside. And he always will :)
He said if he didn't love me, he would've left me the first time I cheated . & even after all those other times too, but he's still with me & i'm glad he didn't give up :)
But things just aren't the same.. do you think it ever will? Or at least be close to that?
I know this is long, but I appreciate for taking the time to read. And i'll appreciate if you gave me good advice :)

[KensleysMom]

You are very mature, but do not know how to resist a temptation that is going to be around for the rest of your life? You are very mature, but you can not accept that your actions have taken a toll on your relationship that cant be fixed just because you want it to? You have to give him all the time he needs to get over your mistakes. Granted, that if he says he is forgiving you he is not allowed to throw it in your face. This is the dynamic that you have brought into the relationship and if you want to keep the relationship then you have to go through the process of earning his trust.

[jbloveee]

Anniebrook, well he says he does trust me a little. We are still working on that..

No not offended at all :)
I've known that since forever. Our minds change as we grow. I could tell i'm not fully mature , but compared to people my age that I know, i'm wayyy mature!
It's true though.. I guess i'm just going to wait when that time comes..

[AnnieBrooke]

I don't think he'll ever trust you, deep in his heart, again.  And will not let himself love you unreservedly for that reason.  Whether this is enough for him not to want to be with you in the end, only he can tell.

Please don't be offended, but new research shows that teen brains are on a different maturity wave than later in their lives.  It's pretty interesting research, and basically says that no matter if you are at the top of your game for age 17, you will be a different person by 21 or 24.  So your first question, will you have a future together, is only answerable yes if, after you go through the changes your brain will go through in the next three or four years, you two are both interested.