Obviously, we don't know you, so we can't tell you how it is you are coming across as condescending, but maybe some of this will help.
Someone in my life wants to help all the people, too. What happens is that she ends up treating everyone like her kids. She explains things we already know as adults, steps in to do everything for us - stuff like that. This is a personal relationship, not professional, so it's probably a bit different than if I worked with her, but it's irritating.
Anything you tell her, she wants to solve it for you. If you casually say, "Oh I wonder what time the store closes," she is googling it and tells you. If you tell her you have a headache, she is googling causes of headaches, and then telling you all the things you should be doing to prevent and treat them. She inserts herself into everything, and wants to "help". The result is that we have to be very careful what we tell her, because everything has the potential of becoming a 30 minute lecture about it.
Ask your team what they need from you. Maybe they don't need you stepping in all the time. Maybe they want weekly or bi-weekly check ins, or will come to you with questions when needed, and feel like your micromanaging. Ask them, and then give it to them, if possible. No one likes to be micromanaged.
You were hired with them. It's hard sometimes for people to go from peers to a managerial relationship. But they were hired because they are capable. Let them prove that to you.
I don't know how you come off at work, but here is how you sound in this post (the parts in parentheses).
"I was hired on with the ones that are now under me. I do feel like this is alot of the issue." (You couldn't be creating this, it is the others' fault for not adjusting to you in a slightly elevated role.) "Still the feedback I am getting from my manager is that I come off as Consending and make them feel be-little. I truly dont mean to come off this way and dont see how I am coming off in this manner." (You disagree with this assessment, your manager is wrong in saying you come off that way.) "I would love to correct the issues and make them feel more comfortable with me. " (You can't "make" people feel anything, you have to behave in such a way that they do feel that way.)
If the result of how you interact is that your coworkers feel belittled and condescended to, it is genuinely how they feel. You can't argue them out of it or say that is not your intention, that is how they are receiving what you are putting out. It sounds like you are being a little heavy-handed for the situation. Maybe the role you see for yourself when the manager steps away (as policeman and "full manager") is not even what you are being asked to do. If so, maybe nobody with authority (above you) has told your co-workers.
Clarify with your manager what it is that you are supposed to be doing when the boss steps away, and explain what you have been doing, and see what your manager thinks about that. You might not have been given official or psychological permission by the situation to act that way. If your manager wants you to be acting that way, he or she should get in and tell the workers that you are supposed to be doing it. But it is quite possible your manager doesn't want you to be acting that way. Ask what your promotion means if you aren't supposed to be policing everyone. You might be surprised.
Hi! Isn't it funny how we THINK we are acting one way and then people SEE us a differently. It's probably a little frustrating. And confusing. I think there are sites that talk about different types of styles to have as a manager and ones to NOT have. LOL I know this because I once had a manager that I was flabbergasted by and I started to read why they were the way they were!
Anyway, check this out: https://www.allbusiness.com/the-seven-types-of-managers-where-do-you-stand-10207093-1.html
It's a balancing act.
How are your people skills over all? Do you know that body language accounts for 80 percent of how others perceive you? Here's an article about body language in the work place. https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/9469-body-language-workplace-communication.html
I'm all up in this subject! lol I have a son that I've looked up different things just like this for because he feels misunderstood often by his peers. How are your peer relationships?
I had a job once in which it involved meeting with strangers, making them NOT strangers, building rapport and making them LIKE me so they'd do things for me. It was a learning experience! lol I found if I made people feel good in a genuine way, that it often resulted in a better relationship. This doesn't mean s ucking up or being inauthentic. I sincerely can pretty much find good things about any person and then focus on them. Look for their strengths and highlight them. Build trust this way.
You sound very in tune to WANTING to do a good job and I love that about you. :>))
How is it going SeizureAdvocate? Have you been able to work through any of this?