Aa
Worstt Girlfriendd ?!
Mee Andd Myy Boyfriendd Havee Beenn Togetherr Forr Almostt Fivee Monthss , Imm 19 Weekss pregnantt Byy Himm. (Wee Plannedd Thee Babyy) Butt , Latelyy Thingss changedd Betwernn Uss , Whenn iFoundd Outt Hee Wass Cheatingg Onn Mee Earlyy Inn Myy Pregnancyy Thingss Betweenn Uss Changedd , iDontt Trustt Himm , iSlapp Himm Alott , Cursee Himm Outt Ectt , iLovee Himm , Butt Sometimess iFeell Likee Imm Forcingg Myselff Too Lovee Himm Forr Ourr Babyy Boyy . Thee Onlyy Timee iFeell Likee Weree CLOSEE Iss Whenn Weree Havingg Sexx . Noww , Imm 19 , Still Youngg Loll . Anyy Ideass ? Advicee ?
It seems to me like your "relationship" is based off of superficial aspects. If sex is the only reason you both feel closeness, then you should not be together; especially since your bf has cheated on you. I'm hoping for your sake & unborn baby, that you figure out your priorities sooner rather than later.
Also, a little advice? When you ask for help & honesty, don't be surprised when people are straight up & try to help you out. If you can't take criticism, don't dish it out.
Enjoy your pregnancy & best of luck.
Also, a little advice? When you ask for help & honesty, don't be surprised when people are straight up & try to help you out. If you can't take criticism, don't dish it out.
Enjoy your pregnancy & best of luck.
Mommytobe, your relationship that you describe on this forum IS a mess. Of course, none of us know you personally so I don't if you're not representing it correctly.
You've been with him 5 months and for most of that time, you've been pregnant. You found out he cheated on you, you slap him a lot and curse him.
That's a mess. I don't know what kind of relationships you've witnessed in your young life, but what you're describing is a mess.
If you have decided to keep your baby and want to stay with your current boyfriend, some huge changes should be made.
You've been with him 5 months and for most of that time, you've been pregnant. You found out he cheated on you, you slap him a lot and curse him.
That's a mess. I don't know what kind of relationships you've witnessed in your young life, but what you're describing is a mess.
If you have decided to keep your baby and want to stay with your current boyfriend, some huge changes should be made.
I know you're getting this a lot, but you do need some sort of anger management. Babies/toddlers can drive you insane, I should know, I have an almost 3 year old and he's in the saying NO to everything, "mine" phases. And it's quite irritating at times, Though we all know that you will love your child, the fact that you have a short temper is what's unsettling and it's what the other responders are worried about with an infant around. Even babies can pick up on hostility. And what RockRose was saying (I'm assuming) is that you got pregnant rather quick after being with him. Whether you've known him months or years prior to actually dating him, you don't really "know" someone until you date them.
As for the whole typing thing,it's kind of confusing to read, annoying and comes off a bit immature. As BluCrystal said, this is a site where people come for advice, and typing like that "hurts the eyes." I know you say you've been typing like that for years, but when on a site like this, people won't take you seriously if you type like that. Save it for texting and Facebook. Good luck though.
As for the whole typing thing,it's kind of confusing to read, annoying and comes off a bit immature. As BluCrystal said, this is a site where people come for advice, and typing like that "hurts the eyes." I know you say you've been typing like that for years, but when on a site like this, people won't take you seriously if you type like that. Save it for texting and Facebook. Good luck though.
Um , i met my boyfriend last year , not recently thank you , and my relationship isnt a mess , we planned our baby and our baby is going to grow up loved ! Thanks for the "help" .
Mommy, I saw a post of yours a couple days ago and thought wow, girl, budget for a new keyboard that doesn't put a couple extra letters in when you push the spacebar! You don't seem to care that much, but your style is exceptionally distracting and it's hard to focus on your message while the reader's mind actually pronounces all those extra letters - the effect is, you sound like you're talking underwater. When I read your stuff I heard an underwater voice saying it.
The reason I bring this up, is I think it's not just coincidental that you're not willing to write the way everyone else writes - you keep insisting on writing in a way that you know is irritating the readers.
Same thing, you probably knew it was a very bad idea to immediately get pregnant with a boyfriend you just met, and you know it's a bad idea to keep arguing with him and hitting him, but you're doing it anyway.
When you get feedback, in general, that you're doing the wrong thing you continue to do it and dig your heels in further.
And so there you are, in this relationship you know is a mess, but there you sit, continuing it.
If you're already slapping him and yelling at him this early in the relationship, there's no way this is going to move forward in a positive way without some serious intervention.
The reason I bring this up, is I think it's not just coincidental that you're not willing to write the way everyone else writes - you keep insisting on writing in a way that you know is irritating the readers.
Same thing, you probably knew it was a very bad idea to immediately get pregnant with a boyfriend you just met, and you know it's a bad idea to keep arguing with him and hitting him, but you're doing it anyway.
When you get feedback, in general, that you're doing the wrong thing you continue to do it and dig your heels in further.
And so there you are, in this relationship you know is a mess, but there you sit, continuing it.
If you're already slapping him and yelling at him this early in the relationship, there's no way this is going to move forward in a positive way without some serious intervention.
Good advice from SpecialMom and BluCrystal as well.
Cheating is big. This I know is true. My first husband cheated a zillion times and included friends and relatives - for 15 years! and we had Three Children! I experienced every emotion and every level of anger in the book but it never ocurred to me to slap him. He may have 'deserved' (earned) it but it wasn't a reaction that would have ever ocurred to me.
Your anger is 'out there' as evidenced in Your response to BluCrystal
and
Your method of typing does strike others as immature, uncute and unfunny.
All that being said, cheating and slapping are big time major issues and I too, have deep concern for Baby entering a life such as this. I too, agree therapy is in order. Seeking therapy is not a sign of 'weakness' - it does not mean You have more 'problems; than any one else, it simply means You have the courage to address your problems and improve yourself.
Regards
Cheating is big. This I know is true. My first husband cheated a zillion times and included friends and relatives - for 15 years! and we had Three Children! I experienced every emotion and every level of anger in the book but it never ocurred to me to slap him. He may have 'deserved' (earned) it but it wasn't a reaction that would have ever ocurred to me.
Your anger is 'out there' as evidenced in Your response to BluCrystal
and
Your method of typing does strike others as immature, uncute and unfunny.
All that being said, cheating and slapping are big time major issues and I too, have deep concern for Baby entering a life such as this. I too, agree therapy is in order. Seeking therapy is not a sign of 'weakness' - it does not mean You have more 'problems; than any one else, it simply means You have the courage to address your problems and improve yourself.
Regards
COMMUNITY LEADER
I appreciate that you did stop with the extra letters in your reply to me. See, self control!! (little joke). I don't mean to offend you by saying this but typing like that would hinder you in the job market as it is really hard to read. No one is slow for finding that style of typing a little over the top.
Well, I'm not sure what to tell you if adoption isn't an option. Again, get your plan together for motherhood. Work out all the details. But what worries me is that you talk about lack of control, anger issues, physical in nature when you get upset. That is worrisome with little children. I've had babies. They are very sweet and wonderful but you get tired. And sometimes you can feel like they are driving you a little crazy and that is when I'd worry about your snapping if you don't have a way of stopping yourself and controlling impulses. That is why the above poster recommended therapy. Anger management therapy to get that under control and get some skills in place for the safety of you and the baby.
good luck
Well, I'm not sure what to tell you if adoption isn't an option. Again, get your plan together for motherhood. Work out all the details. But what worries me is that you talk about lack of control, anger issues, physical in nature when you get upset. That is worrisome with little children. I've had babies. They are very sweet and wonderful but you get tired. And sometimes you can feel like they are driving you a little crazy and that is when I'd worry about your snapping if you don't have a way of stopping yourself and controlling impulses. That is why the above poster recommended therapy. Anger management therapy to get that under control and get some skills in place for the safety of you and the baby.
good luck
First, please type normally so people here can read your posts. This is a serious medical site, and we do not find immature ways of typing to be cute or funny. Second, please see a therapist as soon as you can, as it is obvious that you need it. Blessings - Blu
Sorry , i been typing like this for YEARSSS lol , but adoption isnt something i can do =/ and yes i need help with my anger and i definately need self control . Thanks alot. .
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi. First, yeesh, what is up with our post and the double lettering. Very hard to read.
I think when a couple becomes volatile such as you describe, it is hard for it to ever work out to be honest, There is a certain amount of self control that we all have to have and slapping someone, cussing them out is never okay. If you find you can't control yourself with him, I'm not thinking this is a healthy situation for you, him or a baby. And HE cheated on you. Ugh. This really does sound hopeless to me and unhealthy.
Pregnancy changes everything especially if it is unplanned. Some don't want to become a parent. They should have worn protection absolutely if that were the case so your boyfriend can't just blame you.
Now, I'd start planning for things in the future. I, to be honest, would not include him in the plan. If he turns out to want to be involved, then awesome. But it is looking like he's not too into it. So, plan where you'll live, how you'll earn money, who will care for the baby while you work, insurance to cover medical expenses, etc. Work up a plan because that is reality. And after the baby is born, if he is not around, you can sue him for paternity. Then you can ask him for child support (and should). However, they base it only on what he makes which may not be much. it may cover very few baby expenses. Factor that in.
Now, I think adoption is such a wonderful alternative in situations in which it seems like bad timing to have a baby. Just a little bug in your ear. It's not for everyone but something to think about it you haven't.
Lots of luck dear. peace
I think when a couple becomes volatile such as you describe, it is hard for it to ever work out to be honest, There is a certain amount of self control that we all have to have and slapping someone, cussing them out is never okay. If you find you can't control yourself with him, I'm not thinking this is a healthy situation for you, him or a baby. And HE cheated on you. Ugh. This really does sound hopeless to me and unhealthy.
Pregnancy changes everything especially if it is unplanned. Some don't want to become a parent. They should have worn protection absolutely if that were the case so your boyfriend can't just blame you.
Now, I'd start planning for things in the future. I, to be honest, would not include him in the plan. If he turns out to want to be involved, then awesome. But it is looking like he's not too into it. So, plan where you'll live, how you'll earn money, who will care for the baby while you work, insurance to cover medical expenses, etc. Work up a plan because that is reality. And after the baby is born, if he is not around, you can sue him for paternity. Then you can ask him for child support (and should). However, they base it only on what he makes which may not be much. it may cover very few baby expenses. Factor that in.
Now, I think adoption is such a wonderful alternative in situations in which it seems like bad timing to have a baby. Just a little bug in your ear. It's not for everyone but something to think about it you haven't.
Lots of luck dear. peace
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