Would u sue if your ex or bf gave you and STD/STI?

[Artemis04]

I thought the guy I was seeing was being monagamous with me but he was not. He was lying to me and was seeing me and his ex/baby mama at the same time. Well she told me he has HPV/cervical cancer/warts, which he gave her awhile back that I have now been exposed to. My mom and my best friend want me to sue him if I come back positive for it. All because he did not tell me he had it and knowing he did and put me at risk. Also, he stated to his ex that he did not care that he may have given it to me. I do not know if I have a legal leg to stand on to be able to sue him for giving me HPV if I come back positive. Personally I want his pen&^ to fall off and for him to rot in hell. But would you sue someone for giving u a STD or STI?

[specialmom]

I do think there have been a few lawsuits regarding a person having sex with an unsuspecting woman and they were given HIV.  

And, if someone is married to someone that gave them an STD through cheating?  Hello divorce attorney.  This puts them in a difficult situation for dating as well as possibly increasing their health costs.   I'd ask for a bit more cash or maybe one of the assets in return.  Yep, I would. And I bet I'd get it.  

  

[brice1967]

I'm not an attorney, nor do I pretend to be one on t.v. .  If you have plenty of time, patience and money to blow... give it hell and try to sue the guy.  I don't think many attorneys will jump on board, but there has to be one in your community that is trying to make a name for him/herself.

What do you expect to get out of the lawsuit, and how will that make it all better?

[myown2]

If you read my post to Vance you'll see I don't know and was just guessing about if a person in any state could get jail time for adultery - certainly not in jersey as I would know a few who I would be visiting....
First off I am very sorry to hear what your Husband did to you,,,and in your own home at that..
But the angle I would take is this - You now have a disease that can make you more prone to cancer than someone who doesn't have hpv. I'm not trying to scare you but that is what I would tell the lawyer,,,the adultery - thats bad enough, but your MAIN concern to focus on IMO is how this hpv will affect you down the road because I don't think you have a leg to stand on as far as an "adultery charge", unless your state does recognize that as criminal

But back to the hpv,.. Just like its criminal if someone who has HIV has sex without informing the person of their health, legally they can be held accountable for giving that person hiv.... If your Husband says he didn't know the health status of the women, well thats not an excuse as far as I'm concerned and I would try to get a lawyer that focuses on how you now have a virus that you didn't have before and this virus can cause other serious health problems, and of course the stress of it all.

I really don't know what I'm talking about and just guessing at all this stuff, but maybe gave you some ideas to hopefully help, but get yourself a good lawyer,,,

[myown2]

"No law saying just because someone is married that if a person cheats they will go to jail."

Vance, I don't really know for sure,,,but I think there are a few states that do view adultery as breaking the law..

Going to jail though, I don't think so, but I don't know for sure..

And I would take a wild guess that at one time maybe in the bible belt action was taken somehow, fine, jail, who knows just guessing, but now I'm curious so I might look it up..

[Vance2335]

No law saying just because someone is married that if a person cheats they will go to jail. You can't sue for a STD. No lawyer will take the case and no court will even hear the case.

[sn1066]

My husband gave me the hpv virus because he had unprotected sex with women off the internet sex sites. Six different women to be exact. I am trying to sue him . I found out accidently that he was having sex in my home while i was out at work. He was also having sex with me  and I only found out months later. I am going to try and sue him. I think it makes a difference if youy are married, because they are supposed to be monogamous

[Artemis04]

Well I guess life is a learning experience and I have to take it as a grain of salt. I have to learn not to be so nice and trusting of people, because you can end up getting burned. I am just going to take one day at a time, keep praying, and focus on my life. Once I find out my test results, I think I am going to let that be the end of it all. She has to make her own decisions about her life and her babies lives and I have to do so for myself. I have to not try to help her unless it is da*& serious and I mean life or death serious. And at that point she best have exhaused all of her options before contacting me. I cant try to help everyone, because everyone cant be helped. My best friend of 8 years told me that I have to let the baby mama figure it out on her own....that a man beating and controlling you is not appropiate...children or no children with him.

[mami1323]

You don't have to be evil and mean, you can however be cautious.  People can sense someone is being kind hearted and learn to take advantage of that.  You just have to pick and choose in what type of situations you can lend a helping hand.  It's all about life experience.

[Artemis04]

My parents raised me to be nice, maybe that is a fallicy in my character. I keep telling my friends to help me be evil and mean, but they know its not in my nature. I was raised that the bad people go to hell and the good to heaven...I just did not know the trials on my character it was going to take to make it there in the present and in the afterlife.

[Artemis04]

Well I am not going to help her unless necessary and that is if I do. He is the baby daddy, she needs to make him do what he is suppose to, but she is scared of him because he hits her. She has her mother and grandmother....hopefully she can build a better relationship with them and they maybe willing to help her. I have to keep away from the entire situation, because it is crazy and I may end up getting hurt again. Because she may end up being an evil witch....but as of yet I see not sign of it...just a woman with a broken heart and soul.

[mami1323]

You were with him for 4 months, she has been with him for years, so I'm sure he does hit her.  It was only a matter of time before he did it to you as well.  Well again, you can take my advice on what you want to do but I think you need to realize that there is no need to help her out with those children.  It's a nice thought but being nice is what got you in this situation in the first place.  You are way too trusting.  This woman could turn on you in a second.  But again it's your decision.

[Artemis04]

Well I am trying to focus on me and my stuff. I told her I have enough drama in my life with medical school and stuff to not have to deal with her trying to determine what her baby daddy was doing dating her, me, and another chick. Well if she needs help with the baby and the one on the way...I have no problem with helping...all she has to do is ask. As for her trying to figure out why she is staying she says she wants her children to grow up with a nuclear family and he begged her to stay. And also he is her first love, ect. and she says she cant live without him and wants to marry him. Be that as it may, she told me that he is controlling and beats her, but he never treated me this way.....controlling in a way but he never laid a hand on me at all. All I could tell her to do is pray like I have been and maybe things will work themselves out. P.S. - she has not idea he calls me or still likes me - lol. I honestly do not think he can be with one woman.

[mami1323]

She probably is curious to what the attraction was but those answers have to come from him, not you.  If it wasn't you it would've been someone else and sounds to me like you won't be the last.  She has to figure out why she feels the need to stay with him but you don't need to help her to figure this out.  It's your job to work on your healing.

[Artemis04]

Well I do not know if she is talking about me to him or not, but by you saying that it is now causing me to think about that. Well he knows about me and my life and well as I do him.....we were seeing each other for almost 4 months. She said she was not going to ask me about him anymore after I had to tell her to stop...she was asking me questions about him to figure out why he did what he did and what my relationship was like with him. My best friend said that she was probably trying to determine why  and what her man say in an african american woman. My friend said that she was probably puzzled by the fact that I do not act ghetto....since we are stereotyped to. I am what my friends call a white african american.....I am middle/upper class, am a medical student, I listen to rock/alternative music, ect. Maybe she is trying to gage me and figure out what I am all about...I honestly do not know. But I did state to her if she ever needed help with the babies she could bring them to my apartment.

[mami1323]

It just is odd to me.  If the woman my fiance cheated on me didn't know about me, I would not begrudge her in any way, however, I would not want to remain friends with her if I were to be staying with him.  I wouldn't even think of befriending her even if me and him didn't stay together.  It's just odd.  If you had a child or were pregnant with his child as well, then I would only so that the children can remain in each other's lives because they would be related but there is no need to be friends with her.  I would be very leary of her intentions.  You may tell her things and she may go back to him and talk to him about you.  He does not need to know about you at all.  It just doesn't sit well with me.

[Artemis04]

Well he has not called me in a couple of days lol, but he has called me last week multiple times. I probably should cut the baby mama loose. She is nice but I think we may remind each other of what happended even if we do not discuss him, which we try not to do when she does text or call me. Well she said she wanted to know how my std testing goes and I told her I would let her know what happens but after that maybe we should not talk. She has a baby by him and another on the way in 6 months, which is a constant bond to him that I do not have. He is her problem and if she wants to stay with his cheating behind (that beats her)  that is her.

[mami1323]

Well I do think there are a few great men out there but I do believe in my heart that most of them have problems with monogamy.  Just my thoughts.  Well if it bothers you that he calls you why don't you just change your number all together?  I don't even think it necessary to talk to the baby's mother.  I just think you should cut all ties with that situation.  She will be a reminder of him all of the time whether she's talking about him or not.  I think you need to start fresh and in order to do that, you need to let go of anything that is bound by him.  

[Artemis04]

I dont want anything to do with him being how he treats women especially his baby mama, which is the mother of his daughter and the second baby on the way. He still calls me but I do not answer. Hell I do not know why he is even calling me. I am trying to focus on summer school, my new job, and my clothing website. Maybe I will find someone new or not, I honestly do not care at this point. It is like the salt is fresh in the wound. His actions and words did not match up, but as I heard from his baby mama he cant be monogamus with any woman, because he always I guess has a side person. My mom thinks all men are dirt balls and that is what I am trying not to do.

[mami1323]

Not everyone has good intentions, you have to enter into relationships very carefully.  If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then it is a duck and that's what we all saw about this guy.  You were blinded by his "talk" and couldn't see what we all could and that's only because were weren't emotionally involved.  Sometimes we have to take a step back and see what others see in order to get the full picture.  We have all been victim to it.  Good luck and try your hardest to get this man out of your life.

[Artemis04]

Well maybe I should have not slept with him, but I did. It was not like I was planning on sleeping with him right out....I waiting 2.5 - 3 months before I did. We were just having a good evening...dinner, movie, ect and it happened. I did not plan on it, but it happened. Maybe that was not enought time...maybe I should have waited 3 years but it is what it is.

[Artemis04]

I went to the dr and he said that I seem to be ok and he does not believe I have anything but I do not get my real results back until later this week. Also, I am getting the Guardasil shots.

[Artemis04]

Well she said she is giving him another chance after what he did. She has not had the second baby yet, she is 2 months pregnant. Well I was niave to believe him, but I did. I honestly try to think good in people. I did not lie to him about my intentions but he lied about his. I probably should have cut him loose at like month one or two, but he said how he was ready to move on with his life with me and how he cared about me, ect. He seemed sincere in what he said but as I see now he was not.

[mami1323]

I wasn't promiscuous either and contracted it from my ex and we were in a long term relationship.  Doesn't mean he cheated on me, he could've gotten it from someone before me.  HPV is so common and I have never had an outbreak of genital warts or anything like that.  I just have regular paps done.  My friend who was married for years and only had one other relationship (7 year) was recently diagnosed with it.  I have another friend who was just diagnosed with it and was in a 7 year relationship as well.  So you are not alone.  Like adgal said, read up on it.

[mami1323]

One other thing that I have to say.  It's sort of an "I told you so" kind of comment but most of us on here heard your story from the beginning, gave you prior warning to what we thought this man was doing and you said yourself you were not going to allow yourself to get that emotionally involved.  We had recommended you cutting him off completely and you said - no I want to try and remain friends with him and if it doesn't work out than at least I will not have let myself get that emotionally involved.  Now you talk as if he was an ex-boyfriend and he did you so wrong.  Sweetie, it was only months of your life, not years, no children invested in this.  I'm not saying you deserved this but you went in pretty much with your eyes open.  I feel more sorry for the girl who has been played by him for years and has 2 kids from him.  You need to just let it go and walk away.  I'm sorry you might have contracted STD's from him but learn something from it and move forward.