Ignore all the typos my phone *****
Your stepdad did do an Amazing thing and stepped in when your dad couldn't so he does deserve recognition and thanks for that.. I can see both sides of this and maybe your stepdad is feeling alot of hurt also. He lost his wife and had to raise a daughter alone. Thats a big deal. Just bc your real dad is getting out of prison doesn't mean you should turn your back on the man that raised you! Your step dad was THERE for the every day things so their are bound to be conflicts sometimes.. It's very easy to romanticize things about your real dad by remembering how things were when you were small.. Its easy to get along when one person isn't around for the day to day stuff... Your very lucky... You have two dads that love you. Your stepdad probably has alot of good qualities that you overlook by solely focusing on what he does wrong.
You could be right. I tell him all the time I appreciate what he's done for me. I really do and I dont mean to come off like I dont. I just want to get along with him.We hhaven't gotten along in a very long time. There's more to the story to. My friens and some family disagree with how he's been treating me. I dont discredit him for being there but he's expressed that he got stuck raising me bc he promised m mom on her deathbed that he would.
That's how he says it. Like he regrets making that choice. He loves me I know that but we can't relate to eachother and its made things difficult.
Needless to say you have given me insight and some stuff to think about. Thank you
Maybe he's not good at communicating when it comes to emotional stuff ( surely doesn't sound like it). I think you are right about the counseling... I think a mediator who can facilitate open communication between the two of you is probably the only answer right now... Short of him waking up tomorrow and realizing how his behavior is affecting you. If he won't get counseling with you, or listen and try to change some things you may have to step back and let him figure things out for himself! None of those life situations were your fault and I really hope you don't believe him when he says harsh things. You are worthy of love and respect. Maybe write him a detailed letter and let it all out??
I did that :( I actually said if things dont change then I can't bring my daughter around him and me togetherbecause I ddidn't want her raised around all the tension and ill feelings between us. He straighten up and was a lot better for a couple months then it went right back to the way it was. I dont understand why. The last time we did family therapy as a teenager to the therapist asked him to work on some things and he said no. She's the problem not me. I dont need to work on anything. And he walked out and refused to ever go back. Ug. I'm going to try the a game with him where each day we say something to eachother where we say what we admire or appriciate about eachother. Since I think both of us and I'm realizing especially him that he feels unappreciated. Maybe building him up and letting him know specifically what I admire and love about him will help. Maybe Ive hurt his feelings somewherealong the way or have bern insensitive and tthat's why he lashes out or says what he says. Idk but I know he has trouble communicating. Ill try my game. If he doesnt want to participate I will at least. May hrlp somethinh