am I crazy?

[apolk1986]

I'm 5 months pregnant and I live with my boyfriend.  I have caught him messaging girls online looking for sex. It was the 2nd time this has happened. He was really apologetic and promised to change his behavior.  He blamed it in being lonely.  He's not from here and I'm the only person he knows outside of his coworkers.  I've let him know that I won't put up with cheating and lying at all. I've also given him opportunities to leave the relationship.  That we would being adults about our situation but if he's not happy I can't force him to stay.  He's said multiple times that I'm the one he wants to be with.  He ring shops and tells his family back home that he plans to marry me by the end of the year or by next year. We had a really big blow out a couple of weeks ago and both came to the conclusion that we wwanted to work this out for us. Not just the baby.  I have a huge issue with forgiveness and letting things go. So I have some changes to make as well.  It's just sometimes I actually feel his unhappiness.  Like he's miserable on the inside.  I thinks he's still seeking out other women for texting and talking.  His affection doesn't always feel genuine.   It hurts to think and feel that the person you love doesn't want to be with you and is unhappy.  He says different but his actions say something else. What should I do?

[Londres70]

How old is he?

Does he not have hobbies other than the online messaging other women?

Is he even making an effort to make friends?

[apolk1986]

Yes we have sex. Even that's an issue though. It's like we only do it when he wants it and he climaxes so early that I don't get anything out of it really.  Smh. We have a lease and everything in that house is in my name.  If we split it's like I'm stuck. And I don't want to leave. I do love him. I am a good woman.  I'm only insecure because of him seeking out other women.  I work 2 jobs, cook, clean, everything. The other night he was drunk off his butt.....He just started talking. Saying that he was really stupid and sorry for putting me through all that. That he knew he had a good woman and he really wants to step up and be a good man. When we are good we're great.  But sometimes it feels faked.....feels off....

[dannyzgirl]

R u guys having sex?

[bubzbeauty29]

Thats how me and my bd were and now we don't even talk to eachother, is like i don't exist at all. He always texted girls and looked at porn he even had an app to hide incoming calls and texts. I honestly feel your hurt...because i went through the same thing but hey is up to you if u wnna keep putting up with him ...i decided not to keep up with it why? Because of my daughter my first child that I'm expecting imagine if she was raised by two ppl who always argue and aren't happy. Is better to have happiness around a baby

[Tanya0516]

I can't tell you what you should for.  You need to do what's right for you.

If it ease.  I wouldn't put up with it.  I don't like it when people try to play the poor old lonely me bit.