am i a fool?

[croydonvic]

i been with this guy for 3yrs more on then off, but im not sure what is happening, we got bk together about 3 months ago as i took a break from him, i got my life on track new job, friends house, started saving money and was happy, then he rang me and told me he'd met sum bird off the net but it was just sex and we got bk together, since then i lost my job, house and mates and he has had all my savings to do his house up, he agreed with me that once he was bk at work he'd start paying me bk and guess what his been working but not given me a penny and his had plenty of cash and he gambles and wins but still no offer of anything, when i lost my job i was still paying out for everything and brought him clothes dvds just bits and bobs, just recently tho its started to really bother me, his dealing drugs to only cannibis but i never see a penny then the sex is **** he never lets me orgasm he gets on shoots his business then off he gets, i do everything in the house cooking cleaning washing washing up while he sits on his computer, this is no relationship and i feel used and im sick of doing everything, but my problem is since getting bk with him i have lost all my mates and its just me and him, he never takes me out and if i want a nite off cooking then i have to buy take out, like i have paid for take out lastnight then a nice lunch today im sick of him but dont wanna be alone, but also i have found out his using a chat room site and requesting chats with women called comefuckme now why the hell is he on them, he told  some girl he was bored of sex with me and wanted to try new things so needless to say i went out and paid for things and its still ****, i think its ****, im bored of him and life with him but i cant leave his made me feel like i need him and i have nothing, i no i made a mistake becos if i didnt get bk with him id stll have my job my mates and live in a house where i was happy now im a misery. he tells me he loves me but how can he call it love took all my cash, dont take me out unless i pay and the sex is **** but matbe its all my fault, his told me now to cut my family off, his never interested in what i got to say and with all of this makes me think im only he so his not alone and his got someone doing everything for him and paying out, like i enjoy a spliff but i was paying for the both of us so he said he'll start selling a little so we get a free smoke cos i been paying out so much well his dealing and i got nothing. im feeling so used and a complete failure, his no faith in me i paid a man to wallpaper his lounge when i told him i could do it , but no, did he even let me show him my wallpapering  no i paid out for it to be done, his just won £170 and his all happy and guess what his using it for to pay a few bills not give his very broke gf any cash, plus he gets 340 a wk from work and the only bills he has 2 pay is skytv and bt internet i pay the rest on the 100 a wk i get i give him 35 a wk and i have other bills to pay but he keeps taking  so maybe thats why he stays wiv my must be nice to have someone around who'll pay out and do everything, am i being used.

[RockRose]

Since you're staying,  you must be getting something out of this relationship,  otherwise you'd be gone.  

Reading your post,  I can't tell what it is.  

Does it mean a lot to you to at least have "someone"?  I have to wonder in your childhood if you were abandoned and now that's the worst thing you can imagine,  and all this other garbage isn't as bad as that.

[imanaddict]

You have got to tell him NO!!!!!!! Stand your ground and quit letting him run all over you. He's using you, you know it, now do something about it my dear! It will only continue if you let it.

[Judy246]

opsss, sorry, I mean "need to work on, becausy you have become"..:) Good luck!

[Judy246]

I have to agree with jo and the man is playing you like a fiddle. I notice you also have self esteem issues that you need to work, because are you have become codependent on him and have fear of being alone.

Here are some "red flag" warnings that I caught immediately:

* Infidelity
* Used your savings for his benefit
* Unemployed
* Gambles
* You financially provide for all his needs
*  Drug dealing
*  Dissatisfied sex life
*  You are his housemaid
*  Sex chat lines with other women
*  You have loss your friends and he has asked you to leave your family
*  Self esteem issues (fear of being alone)

It's time to go!

[iam1butterfly]

Are you "...being used." is a vast understatement.

He doesn't pay his bills; deals in drugs; is a lousy lover... so, what are you waiting for?
Quit putting up with this foolishness... and move on!

[jo929]

My Dear, he is playing you like a violin, i see it everyday, a man will take a womans money, and its gone, you will never see it, so cut your losses and get a job, and look for one that will do right by you  Look at your post and read it as a stranger would and just see how he treats you and all you do for him is not appreciated, so leave.    luck  jo