Aa
sex
how much fear of sex is normal? 32 and still a virgin. not happy and it keeps me awake
it's all easier sais than done, it's time to take a more active approch to this relationship thing. i do enjoy to work and am good at what i do, would love to help ourt in a different country with a relief agency, do you know of any? would this be a good place to start?
Work on chipping away the barrier of shyness because it'll is insulate you to the point of nothingness. Yes, this sounds impossible to accomplish as you'll always be shy... it's part of your personality... it's part of who you are. But, there are aspects of it that can be overcome. I've been there. It's taken me years to over-come much of it. And now, at 53, I only occasionally struggle with it.
My advice to you: Don't give yourself time to over-analyze because that only holds you back. So, get out of your head (it's getting in your way!), take the plunge...
"let yourself go." Believe me, no one will judge you... except maybe, yourself.
My advice to you: Don't give yourself time to over-analyze because that only holds you back. So, get out of your head (it's getting in your way!), take the plunge...
"let yourself go." Believe me, no one will judge you... except maybe, yourself.
You would not believe the dumb comments that came out of my mouth, i was so shy, i did not mean for you to work in a store just be among people go to group therapy, i think that when you meet the right girl she will understand, the main thing is do not be by yourself so much it is not good for you, and i did not spend my life in that store, i went on to work in the gen and mental hospitals which was my dream and i worked with people over 35 years,, and enjoyed every minute of it, ,by the way i finally married and was a virgin until then i was 20, so do not worry about it the time will come, and you will do just fine luck jo yes i know what you mean about church, but some do take it serious, and they have young peoples meetings
have never had much to do with church, just know that alot of cruel people go every sunday then monday morning their back to their old rutein.
moving is really not an option at the moment, thought about getting a job in a grocery store, would meet loads of people, just not sure about the work, running a till just doesn't appeal. so i do give credit to those that do stand behind the till.
it's just that if i met a nice girl i woudn't know the first thing what to do, would say something that is just plain dumb
moving is really not an option at the moment, thought about getting a job in a grocery store, would meet loads of people, just not sure about the work, running a till just doesn't appeal. so i do give credit to those that do stand behind the till.
it's just that if i met a nice girl i woudn't know the first thing what to do, would say something that is just plain dumb
the whole rape thing is probably related to an insedent that happend to my aunt, she was walking home and was sexually assulted at knife point.it happened many years ago and now she's an allcoholic.
i think everyone is affraid of std's, it's just that we were bombarded with sex **** in high school, all the things not to do, and be aware of the possible consequences. so what is acceptable?
dificult to read could be a whole new problem.
i think everyone is affraid of std's, it's just that we were bombarded with sex **** in high school, all the things not to do, and be aware of the possible consequences. so what is acceptable?
dificult to read could be a whole new problem.
totally, every time that i'm confronted and or not prepared i freeze up and if i do say something it's totally inappropiate or just plain stupid, i seem to think of everything, then nothing comes out.
ive never even held hands with a girl, no kissing nothing
ive never even held hands with a girl, no kissing nothing
Somehow, I sensed that you're shy.
It's a key factor in the way social, emotional and sexual bonds are formed.
If one is inhibited, reserved or is in some way stifled, one doesn't feel free to participate or act in a way that would be considered conventionally, "normal." Basically, the shyness makes you so hyper self-conscious that you hold back
and withdraw... perhaps, there's a fear of rejection and abandonment... possibly,
it's the fear of "letting yourself go" and "letting someone in."
Either way, it's the sort of self-containment that freezes you to where you do
nothing... except maybe suffer, in silence.
Does any of this resonate with you?
It's a key factor in the way social, emotional and sexual bonds are formed.
If one is inhibited, reserved or is in some way stifled, one doesn't feel free to participate or act in a way that would be considered conventionally, "normal." Basically, the shyness makes you so hyper self-conscious that you hold back
and withdraw... perhaps, there's a fear of rejection and abandonment... possibly,
it's the fear of "letting yourself go" and "letting someone in."
Either way, it's the sort of self-containment that freezes you to where you do
nothing... except maybe suffer, in silence.
Does any of this resonate with you?
Aussie, I apologize and don't mean to offend, if your comment about rape seemed awkward, but valid and girls don't put themselves in a situation of rape. It's the guy with the intention to commit the crime, because it is a crime. I do ask question to better undersand also, being male, virgin in a small town is a secret and nobody's business, but at 32 are you afraid of deseases? Your difficult to read.
Before I respond to any questions, I read carefully, even between the lines. I'm aware that he stated that he is a virgin! I'm also aware that trying to get basic information from him is like pulling teeth and now confusing. His last post he questioned rape, which caught my attention, he also,"it's a small rural town where everone knows everyone else's dirty secrets, even the invented ones. but no one knows about mine! yet" Why would he state "no one knows about mine yet....dirty little secrets, still a virgin..." You bet I'm going to question everything, because I sense that something is wrong here!!!
I think your secret is that you are a virgin, nothing to be ashamed of, also there is something you can do about being shy, i was that way myself, until i was told to go to the biggest place there was and go to work so i went to work in a large grocery store many many years ago, by the time i got through my face stayed red so long that finally it eased up and i got used to people so get out among crowds, and if you do not like the place where you live move if posible, i know everyone seems to be mving fast these days but there are some good gals left luck jo
Have you tried the church, there are lots of nice girls around, you just have nor run around the right places, and bars are not the plce to meet them, I think that you are dying to tell your secret so go for it, nothing surprises me anymore, i am to old luck jo
Dirty little secret.....your a rapist? Your message and tone sounds dark....I'm done here.
allways been shy, not sure if a person can do anything about it?
the aids nick name came about in kindergaden, before anyone had heard of the desies or even knew what sex was, it's sort of a short form of my real name.
defenatly not gay, usually get flustered and mixed up if a i'm confronted by girls.
it's the idea of rape, it terrifies me to see girls put themselves into a situation where this could happen, i've seen girls go after guys and get treated like ****, why do they put up with it?
where does a guy find girl friends that aren't drug or alcahol adicts, don't meet to many new people in a year where i live, it's a small rural town where everone knows everyone else's dirty secrets, even the invented ones. but no one knows about mine! yet
the aids nick name came about in kindergaden, before anyone had heard of the desies or even knew what sex was, it's sort of a short form of my real name.
defenatly not gay, usually get flustered and mixed up if a i'm confronted by girls.
it's the idea of rape, it terrifies me to see girls put themselves into a situation where this could happen, i've seen girls go after guys and get treated like ****, why do they put up with it?
where does a guy find girl friends that aren't drug or alcahol adicts, don't meet to many new people in a year where i live, it's a small rural town where everone knows everyone else's dirty secrets, even the invented ones. but no one knows about mine! yet
I am so sorry, that i did not look at your profile, i assumed that you were a woman, so this changes the situation, no it is not normal for a male to feel this way, and if you ever have a close girlfriend you will feel desire,also if you ever fall in love, i do not believe any fear will stand in your way, unless you have seen a lot of aids victims, i stll think that true love would win out unless you are a gay person, so keep looking for the right one, or try talking to a counsler it is not unusual to seea women afraid of sex, but it is a man i wish you luck jo
also, why was your nickname aids? Who named you this?.....this will be my last questions.
You feared desease that could be it and your nick name was aids? Something is not right here. Sex is not a duty, it's should come naturally in a loving relationship. Someone hurt you, because you think it hurts or you will hurt someone? Please be straight forward, because this is like pulling teeth here! You fear that if you have sex you will catch aids?
not sure what is bothering me, never really gotten to close to anyone, ie best friend.
it's not religion, but fear of desies, aids used to be my nick name.
i've never viewed sex as a duty, it more about not wanting to hurt someone in any way
it's not religion, but fear of desies, aids used to be my nick name.
i've never viewed sex as a duty, it more about not wanting to hurt someone in any way
A small doubt of fear may be normal, but not to the extent where one is afraid, unless as a child someone may have tried to molest them, or some ole wifes tale of doing your duty, and there is no pleasure, which is untrue, so i do believe that there is more bothering you,, but is is hard to give an answer to you with just what info you posted, if you would like to keep in touch, i will try and help you ,any way i can luck jo
One more question (sorry for all the questions, but I need more information on the reason that you have neve experienced intimacy). Does this has to do with an upbring religious beliefs (sex before marriage a sin)? Thanks.
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