being with a married man

[susiec677]

i am involved with a married man. He is older than me.and we share a child. His wife knows about the baby and our past affairs. we have been involved for 9 years,and we spend 90% of our time together. When there are holidays and birthdays,and etc. he is there with me. We just dont sleep together at night. He does not want me to be involved with another man. But he wants to keep his wife on the side. He does not stay with me. The way he acts, you would think that he stays with me, and paying bills, and etc. but he doesn't. I never ran after him, he ran after me, for 3 months, and i finally decided to start being friends with him. He never said anything bad about his wife. Neither does he talk about her like that at all. I was the one who always said to myself that i would never mess with a married man, but i did. So no one can really say, what they will never do. After being friends with him at first, I guess i let the situation handle itself , without me putting a cap on it. I dont know what i allowed my self to get involved in, cause this is way to long to be involved in this type of foolishness.

[AmbassadorofAwesome69]

Lots of good stuff here and I agree - sometimes people can rationalize their affairs/cheating to the point where you might tend to see their point of view.  I'm not sure what the poster's question really was but wrong is wrong.  It is a question of morals and ethics.  Messing with a married person is wrong no matter how one tries to justify.  I guess in the long run, like other responders said, just ensure the child is taken care of and raised correctly as not to repeat the sins of the mother.

[specialmom]

I give a lot of advice to people that actually ask questions.  You didn't come here for advice though.  

Now, I'm moving on to more productive topics.  Luck to all to be the best person they can be.

[susiec677]

my child knows her father, and when it comes down to her and her father, what we had together is seperate from him being a father he can be. This is his first child, and he is a great father, and he has let nothing come between that. hes more of a discplinary than i am, I am nore leniet on her than he. I guess thats just how fathers are to their children. He gives her support, cause he pays his support and he does extra, and never complained about doing so. He was put on child support, cause like common sense wise to me, he is married. But that never stopped him from being a parent or support wise. i really dont know, but i feel like parents should not have to be together for a child to still have two parents in their lives. And just like my father, i did not grow up with him in the home, but still i knew who he was, he supported me, and he is a great dad, and my dad was in my like, and everytime i needed my dad,and etc. He was there. and i hope to this goes the same way. Cause i dont see it changing at this point otherwise. I am not going to say i will never speak to him again. Cause I beleive when it comes down to raisng a child. it has nothing to do with two grown people and they past situations. So i am big on parenting. I am not a type of person, where i go arond being with different types of men or anything. I am a decent citizen of america that just got wrapped up in the wrong indivual, due to a badchoice in life. My child is not a baby,( which i know you didnt say that) but she's old enough to understand everything and his wife and my child knows about the baby, ahe knows her age, she knew he came if at nothing but just to see the baby. She was not in the dark about anything. She said that she did not want to be in it(as far as the drama of it). and dont call her, and do not come by her job or etc,. and she would not call me. She said this years ago. She said what ever happens or what ever you need to do you do that. Do not involve her. because i didnot marry her, he did, and i was not there when the marriage vows were said. i did not make that committment to her. I was just being alike any other women that does this kind of thing.So she said she is not going to take out her fustration on me. I dont call her or bother with her, and in dealing with him with the child, i deal with him, i dont deal with her. I dont even have to speak with her at all. So thats how that works on that end. but what we've done has nothing to do with him being a father to his child.( not saying that you said it would though) i am just saying .

[susiec677]

yes, i did put my comment on her, but we have been on this topic for a long time, and at the end of the day, someone let go something they once did that was not good. But just like special mom said she had a firend that was dealing with a married man and she stopped, but do that make special mom better than her or can look down on her, cause the woman made a mistake. cause special mom chose to do something else than what this woman has done. Yes everyone have different beliefs about the bible. But when you are talking about right and wrong, if god cant be apart of the decussion of wrong to make wrong a better, then why comment on a persons life anyway. Cause at the end of the day. We have a final destination place here. We are not just exisitng on earth waiting to die. We are here for a purpose. And Beliefs or not. The bible is in plain english. God say he made the wod so plain that even a fool could not error it. So its been said and so it is written. God word is like a two edge sword. (cutting going in and comming out) and Some eople want to run from that. Like god said people will do on judgement day. Want to say well, i am talking about your sin not mine, as if your wrong and sin does not matter. But it does cause we have to answer to someone higher thatn anyone else on this earth, and his name is jesus. So yes i will not talk about that anymore. and that is cool. but when wrong is involved, regaurdless, God should show up to the party. Heck  satan came. Why not bring God to clean out the sin sick soul. Like i said what ever i said came from the bible. and it was upported, for what ever reason, justification or cause. A person messing with a married man, is no different that two single people having sex and not married. If that is not true then why is it that you are married and not just having sex staying together with no papers calling your self common law. God ordanes marriages. you all want to live under some things of the law of god but would love to deleete the things that you dont want to deal with. No you talking about me but if you do that arent you luke warm too. just like i was. God too will spit you out his mouth. Thats why i say no one is different than the other. Unless they bring forth a change within themselves. a follow that bible completely. So unless you follow the bible fully. Then you are no more than an unrighteous sinner, just like anyone else that doesn't follow him. Not being a child of god , means that you are a child of satan, It is either one or the other. No one can serve two masters. Like i said look up the scriptures for yourself. reguardless what i have done i have repented and turned from my wicked ways and ran back to jesus. cause i fell down,but i got back up again. and i said you cant say what you wont do cause when you are a slave to sin, and satan is your god, no telling what you might get your self into. Like many other people do. Every one makes mistakes, and have situations and they are free willed, so on that you are right. and maybe thats why i feel like god said do not judge, but i did put my personal situaion on here. so maybe that was my fault, but there are many more woman and men out there that do  that(sleep with married people) But dont be so quick to judge harshly, if you are here to help someone and give advice. Cause why give advice to help, when you treat anyone in such a manner in a way that they are not going to listen to you.I am not talking to everyone on here though, cause some did not act in such manner but some did, Maybe i forgot to say that earlier. Again i am not upset. I keep saying that. Why am I going to be upset with something i chose to do. I am Good with squaring my shoulders and accepting responsibility. .

[imanaddict]

I am not going to judge, nor comment on your relationship with a married man. What I am concerned with, however, is your child. I'm just curious about what he/she knows about his/her father and your relationship, and how you think it will affect his/her future?

[mami1323]

LOL...I hear ya.  I agree.