boyfriend addicted to porn.

[CateJohnson]

i just don't know how to take it. should i leave and let him figure it out?
well here is some back ground. my boyfriend is 21 and im 19, before we we're even together he was addicted.
well he started going to church and getting into a better relationship with god. we got together and he
didn't do it for a while, but we started getting sexual about 4 months into the relationship and when we got in a fight and broke up he did it. he came clean after i can clean about doing drugs during the same break. the he stopped for a while but im not sure what started it up again and worse, he was done it so many times he lost track....and we've been together over 7 months. i feel stupid and just upset that he would do this. what can i do....? please help

[nursegirl6572]

I agree with SM.

I have one question though, is he actually addicted to porn?  Has he been diagnosed?  Reason I ask, is because some people, due to their strong aversion to it and disagreement with it, just kind of label anyone who partakes in the watching of porn as a porn addict.  Just clarifying.

There are SO many varying opinions about porn, and everyone is entitled to their own.  Even if he isn't a porn "addict" and just watches it here and there..if YOU have a problem with that, it will cause a lot of issues in the relationship.  That will always be a point of contention.

I also agree that you need to be sure you're working on your own addiction issues.  Do you have a solid aftercare plan in place that includes addiction counselling?  NA/AA meetings?  Just be sure if you stay with this man that you don't neglect your own issues being focused on his.  It's a well known fact that two addicts together is usually not something that ends well.  Even addicts super committed to their recovery face extra challenges being with another who is also an addict.

Like SM said, dating happens for a reason...not everyone is supposed to be your forever person.  You have to make decisions about that based on what's best for YOU!  Best of luck!

[specialmom]

Hi there.  here is the thing that I really feel strongly about.  Dating is for a reason!  We are supposed to learn about someone what we need to know in order to stay with them or leave the relationship.  we are NOT supposed to be with everyone we date.  

Addiction is such that once someone has a problem, it is always easy to slip right back to that addiction or something else in its place when times are tough or circumstances are right.  Someone that has or is battling any sort of addiction is a riskier person to be with because of this.  

If you don't like porn, and he keeps returning to it----  my best advice is to cut your losses now.  If you also have an issue with drugs in that you relapsed during the break ---  something to be very aware of and work on.  And it can be toxic if two addictive personalities find each other.  

so, I would consider leaving this relationship personally as I can almost guarantee that porn will be a part of this guys life off and on for the duration of it.  

good luck dear

[NOHARD]

Hi Cate, The problem is that porn is a drug, once people start, they crave more, so it carry's on, the people start to masturbate to it, time goes on, then it becomes porn induced ED, this means for men that they fail to get an erection good enough for sex.
So if he's also doing drugs, then he has even a bigger problem.
What should you do, or what steps should you take, big ones, walking away from him as fast as you can go, for me that's the beast help you will need.
Sorry for being so blunt.
Good Luck