boyfriend wants a baby

[tina719]

I just graduated from highschool, and i'll be 19 in septemeber... my boyfriend n I have been dating for about a year and a half... he's 20 soon to be 21 in december... and he wants a baby... he's the type of guy who's had a rough past where nobody was ever there for him so he just pushes anyone away that gets close to him... but he told me he wanted a baby... we've been having unprotected sex now... and he always asks if he can "go" in me... and i always say no... but the other night... he didn't say anything... he just went... twice!... it happened the day after my period... and i'm on birth control... but still... he talks about having a baby all the time... and i dont know what to do... i dont want a kid... because i am way to young... and i'm just shocked that a guy actually wants a baby... most guys try to avoid it... but he is really tryin to make it happen =\

[Liza55]

Please Wait!  Think first of the child and what you think you'd want for one-  a stable home, enuf money to raise him ( includes doctor appts., clothes, food) , plus the incredible committment it takes ( you will never be first again). You two are so young- you could do anything like college, go out when you please, even choose to eventually date others. Believe me when I say you don't need a baby right now. And any therapist will tell you , it is very unhealthy to just want one b/c your childhood was lacking. That's a great expectation of bringing a baby into the world to think it can heal old wounds (no way!). You gotta have your s**t together first. It is joyful, but also extremely stressful.
As I said, live for you right now. Grab this time where you come first and so many things are possible for you. Babies can definitely come later!!!

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Drop this guy,  he's trying to trick you into getting pregnant.  He is a major creep to try and do that.

[2boys1princess]

you've been together for over a year and half, that's a long time... it shows that you're in a commited relationship. however, if you don't want a baby TELL HIM. talk to him about it... make him understand all the responsiblities that come w/ a baby. tell him you're not ready for one... if he really loves you he'll understand and respect your decision. there is a lot more that just having a baby... you should be financially stable to be able to support and provide for it. this is a human being that will depend on you one hundred percent for EVERYTHING, even emotionally. if he does not respect you dedision to wait, then your best option is to let him go. it's better said than done, but you really have to take in consideration that having a baby is not just fun and games, it is someone you'll be responsible for the rest of you life. it's a good decision to wait and stick w/ it.    :-)
good luck!!

[peekawho]

Its unprotected in regards to STDs.

[RockRose]

Tina,  if you're on birth control,  you're having "protected" sex.  I keep seeing questions on this board about girls who think they can get pregnant if they have sex while on the pill,  and they call it "unprotected".  It isn't - you're protected against getting pregnant,  as long as you take the pill faithfully as instructed.

I agree with the others - this guy is bad news.  You want to be older,  and married before you decide to start a family,  and that's REALLY smart.  

He's not ready for a baby,  and he's not committed to you,  and he sounds kind of dangerous.  

Best wishes.

[PlateletGal]

I agree with AJH84.

[AHP84]

Bad news...watch out for this guy if he's ejaculating in you without your consent or knowledge and trying to get you pregnant when you don't want to be nor are you ready for a kid.
I had my child when I was 20, but I was pregnant at 19. It's not easy AT ALL being a young parent just trying to get by financially, and to add a kid to that drains you. I had to depend on my mom to support me and my child for two years until I finished my BA degree, graduated college and started a career. It's no fun, and somewhat shameful, knowing you can't even support or provide for your child yourself and have to depend on others to help you.
If he wants a baby so badly, that's fine. But to try to impregnate you against your consent is just wrong wrong wrong! It's not just about what he wants...you're involved too, and you will be more so than he ever will since you'd be the mother. You have to be the one pregnant for nine months, give birth, deal w/ breastmilk (whether or not you breastfeed), and be the mommy at home if he wants to be the "provider." Believe me, if you don't want this, you'll resent him for it.
I doubt you'll get pregnant from the encounter you explained, but I'd be very cautious and suspicious from this day forward.

[ksanden]

i think u really need to sit down and tell him how u really feel about it before something does happen birth control or not it happens. dont let what happened to me, happen to u. i had pre cancer cells in my cervix i wanted baby number two and he didnt but did just to make me happy, the pregnacy was hell because i was remindedwhat i didevery day. dont get me wrong he loves his son but i feel like i did to much pushing and to soon. just make still both of u are ready good luck.
ksanden