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Avatar universal

break up advice

So i posted a little while ago, about having a boyfriend who talks down to me constantly. Well I finaly got up the courage and broke up with him. I tried to act like an adult, and not put the blame on him for anything in particular. I just told him I wasnt happy, and i think its because we dont see things the same way anymore. He yelled a  bunch and told me he never wanted to hear from me again. Which I suppose is for the best. I just need some advice on moving on, some inpsirational words. I usually keep myself busy in order to keep my mind off of breakups. But .. I have the hardest time when i try and fall asleep. How did all of you get through your break up/ heart breaks in a positive way?
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Avatar universal
Google the 7 steps of grieving. Any major loss in ones life brings on grieving not just death. The loss of a relationship is much like the experience of death. Know what to expect.
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Avatar universal
I had the same problem, but I have held up for 3 months so far!
I hope your doing good with your decision.
its very hard for a long time as I am still ahving a hard time, but it gets easier.
Honestly remembering th bad times isnt the answer.
Remember the good times and what experience you got from then and remember how different you are from eachother and how YOU deserve so much better.
If you need any advise feel free to message me.
your a strong one because it toook me 2 and a half years and im still a little unsure, but I do know what im doing is right as much as I love him.
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Avatar universal
Naturally, you'll use a lot of downtime reflecting because you're processing a personal disappointment... go with that process... and consider this recent relationship a valuable learning experience. Utilize this experience as a useful relationship tool to prepare and guide you through your next relationship(s).
But, don't second guess or doubt the correctness of your decision. And, resist the urge to rush into another relationship because... there's that impulse to start dating right away in order to fill that feeling of "emptiness" and validate your sense of worth.
Allow yourself mental space and plenty of time to gain clarity. You'll do just fine!
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Avatar universal
Just make it i day at a time, and remember how he treated you, you will soon forget  luck  jo
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Avatar universal
Sorry, I had one last minute thought....get rid of everything and anything that you have that reminds you of him.  Put the pictures away or return them until you are able to look at them again without getting yourself all worked up. Rearange your room...Judy
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Avatar universal
I meant "emotionally debilitating"....sorry. Judy
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Avatar universal
I'm proud of you, because you have inner strengh, courage and respect yourself and not let a man mistreat you....bravo!

Break ups are very difficult and if not handled well can be emotionally disabling. What is done is done and you had a good reason to do so (emotional and verbal abuse).

A break up is like a death...losing someone for good and what you are feeling is the loss. You will go through the grief process, which is natural when you lose someone you love, but just remember the reason for the loss....abuse.

You will have good days and you will have bad days, but I promise yo with the help from God who will give you the strenght to move forward, but one day at a time.  It's ok to cry and grieve and even want you pass back, but keep remembering the reason you broke up with him. Make changes to your routine, start walking, running, go pamper yourself in a hair salon (that always work for me!!!). It ok to feel the sadness and loss, but start by surrounding yourself with good friends, family, do thinks that are possitive in your life and you will very slowly feel better...step by step. DO NOT fall in temptation to call him, text him or communicate with him in anyway. It's easier said than done, but you will never move forward and just start the grief process all over again, if you fall into temptation and contact him. Turn off your cell if necessary...put it away if necessary, but you have come this far and I'm so very proud of your  courage....we are here also, to give you that extra push when needed ok. If you can't sleep at night, change your sleeping hour routine...go to be much later and you will fall asleep and remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. At the right time and naturally, you are going to meet someone when you least expect it....you will be ok..one step at a time.....Judy (Chgo)
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