broken heart

[youngguy800]

i dont really know why im posting on here but i guess i just needed to talk to someone... im a closeted gay 18 yr old male living in a very conservative area/family and have been having a pretty rough 6ish months.. first i had a lil fling with a 20 yr old guy that never really wanted anything more from me, although i couldn see that. we never had sex tho thanks God but i still got worked up with the whol gay std hiv thing and to be honest still havent gotten over it. anyways i rushed into a relationship with someone else because i knew the other one was going no where and i was starting to feel pathetic and taken advantage of. i met an amazing guy who happens to be 23. like i said we rushed into things including sex and i got attatched pretty quickly. now only 4 months later he recently decided it wouldn be possible to continue to have a reltionship since im going off to college in about a month and he will be staying here in med school... we cried the whole night and i guess are trying to be friends.. we really do love each other.. i feel like he's really the guy i want to be with even if im 4 hours away. and i also feel like he feels this way too. part of me want to get on my knees and beg him to be with me and tell him that i'll do anything, even drop my scholarship and go to school in town.. but i probably want to have a close friend in him if anything else.. i guess i was just seein what anyone had to say. i know i should move on but its alot harder than i thought it would be. it just ***** cuz no one knows im gay or about the relationship so i really have no one to go to or cry on about it.. i dont really know what im looking for here but i guess i just needed to get that off my chest.. thanks

[Ladybug95]

Please do not drop your scholarship over one person, even if you truly love them. Talk to him and try and figure out a way to see each other every once in a while. However, it would be easier to just be friends at the moment. Maybe you will find a guy that you eventually fall in love with, maybe both of you just might move on. Then you both can continue to be friends, but have someone you really care about. Plus, the person you find might live closer to you. You are both going to different schools, with a whole lot of different men. Good luck!

[Lonelymom]

I don't know what else to add to such wonderful advice except going away to college will be your best bet. I understand how bad it hurts to lose someone you love but look at it this way it is better to have loved and lost then to never love at all.

You will meet someone else someday or you will finish school and you two will decide to give it another go. Either way I pray everything works out for you and you will be happy soon.

[imanaddict]

Awww! You are not pathetic! We have all loved and lost and know how it feels. It's AWFUL! Time heals all wounds though and I have a good feeling that once you get into school and start making friends, you will heal a lot faster. Keeping yourself busy will help a lot, and what better place to keep yourself busy than college! At least there you will meet new people, make friends, go to parties, and most importantly, get an education! Focus on your degree and everything else will fall into place when the time comes.

[vmvnpv]

Don't feel pathetic.  You're not.  We've all been there.  Having a broken heart is probably the worst feeling in the world.  Feeling the way you do doesn't make you pathetic, it makes you human.  It does get better, I promise.  ((((hugs))))

[youngguy800]

i know. yall are right. he is right. i guess all i need is time to heal. i feel so pathetic.

[vmvnpv]

Ditto mami.  No one is worth the risk of your future.  What if you drop your scholarship, go to school in town and then he dumps you anyway?  You have spent a lot of money and went to a school you didn't really want to go to all for nothing.  I know it's cliche but if you guys were meant to be together it will work out.  There's plenty more guys waiting to treat you like you want to be treated.  You will meet so many different people in college.  More like you and tons that accept you for who you are.  You will be throwing away a chance of a lifetime if you don't go.  It's not worth the risk.  Good luck!

[mami1323]

I'm sorry you are so sad and that this relationship isn't going to work.  Do not, I repeat, do not drop your scholarship for any one.  Even if you think he's the one, because you will hate yourself later on in life if he isn't the one.  You need to do for you and get your life in order.  If he wanted to be with you and make it work, he would.  I would say, remain close friends.  Let him finish school, and you finish school and if you two are meant to be with one another, you will be.  I know it doesn't make the pain go away but once you are in college and you are away from family and you can be yourself, you will learn so much more about yourself and about life.  You may find out that there is more to life than him.  I wish you the best and hope that your life is filled with happiness.