cheap men

[broke123]

i was just wondering... how does one deal with a bf/husband thats very cheap?

me n my bf r movin in together officially as of next month (even tho ive been livin at his place for the last 3-4 months). but now im giving up my own apt.

anyways, the "cheap" topic keeps coming up with us. if he buys me a pack of cigs he wants 5$ back. today he said that 8$ from mcdonalds.. is too expensive!!! i mean cummon!! 8$!!

he makes triple what i do.

i never ask for anythin, he never bought me anything (i got a card for my birthday). but im very independent, and just tell myself - i dont need his money, i have my own.

is this fixable? how can i get pass this? any advice?

thanx to all =)

[123gogirl]

I think it depends on the total personality of the guy. I guy with great personality and will treat you better & cheap is okay. But an abusive & cheap guy is a red flag.

Being independent is cool, you know. You are capable of saying “I am funding myself” to other people while the guy you are with feels so small and prolly choking with his ego - cause he is not the guy capable of spending money for his partner. Although it would hurt you too, cause you could be with a guy who literally gives you everything but you are stuck with a cheap man.

[Grace313]

I'd put the brakes on moving in together.  Cover the budget and expenses.  Tell him how it makes you feel when he can't cover minor expenses for you... what is it exactly?  I'd feel not quite worth his little extra expenses if he didn't offer to cover some of the little things without expecting the cash in return, but maybe he doesn't want to "get screwed".  Either way, maybe you aren't at the point of cohabitation.  Its a big step!!!!

A marital counselor once showed me a budget plan.  It wasn't a 50/50 split.  It was a percentage split.  So if he makes 3/4 of the total income, then he pays 75% of expenses and you the other 25%.  As a couple, this is something to be considered.  He shouldn't be expected to pay it all.  Do what works for both of you.

I believe in chivalry, and I probably wouldn't be able to get close to a man holding out his hand every time he picked up the tab.

[ladypink2]

I met someone while I was self sufficient and unfortunately got a divorce and couldn't find any job/ income comparable to what I could in my home state.  (women usually move out and become independent unlike many men) So after a year or two of using alimony I meet someone who feels "sorry" for me and I tell him "no thanks" I don't want your help. Well being a desperate single mother finally I agree to let me take me to the store shopping. Well, he uses this as an "in" and starts bugging me 24/7. He even wants me to move in with him for "only a couple months" so I keep paying rent on my place while my daughter goes to her father' apartment and I find a minimum wage job b/c California has GOT to be the worst economic disaster in the nation ! So work full time, moved in with him and he proceeds to take over my finances, pays off one of my credit cards I had been using for rent, food, etc. To this day he is cheap and has only gotten WORSE.

[Beckimichele]

Too cheap..  I think you are waisting your time.  Are you desperate?
Or what?  Please use your common sense and do not accept this kind of relationship.  Please do better for yourself.

[kxqmate]

I'm with a cheap man now..He buys garage sale stuff for presents, He thinks sharing a phone is saving, keeps the thermostat on 90..
He never fixes anything. He hardly showers. He uses the fireplace in the winter. He eats out no more than 8.oo  or less a person. Washes his
stuff maybe every 2 weeks.I understand!

[specialmom]

It certainly sounds that way.  I don't think it is worth compromising ourselves so much for a situation in which the other party isn't giving as much as we are to be close.  

I wish you lots of luck!!  Peace and let us know how things go, okay?