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5585299 tn?1370383717

coping with a sexless relationship

I have been in the same relationship with a man I love for almost 9 years. About 3yrs ago, our sex life started dwindling and only got worse from there. He is on a medication that tends to lower the libido a bit. Long story short, it has been about 18mos since we've had any kind of sex. We basically live like roommates. I've talked to him a hundred times about it, but its gotten to a point i think where it's been so long that neither of us even knows how to go about initiating sex. I love this man and I'm not yet ready to give up on the relationship, however, I'm very lonely and I don't know how much longer I can live like this. Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
2 Responses
1696489 tn?1370821974
I suggest marriage counseling: because this will not only cover your problems with intimacy, but your whole marriage in general.  Please consider this before you 'give up'.  Blessings - Blu
134578 tn?1614729226
There is a good book about coping with a "Low Sex or No Sex Marriage" (that phrase would be in the title, if you went on Amazon you could find it by that).  I don't know if it would work if he is not interested, though.  In other words, it talks about rekindling intimacy, communication, and all the stuff you would expect (sex is not just ripping off your clothes and going at it, after the first heady months).  I would also see a counselor, as a couple, as Blu suggests.
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