dating

[jdog429]

hi i am 15 and i have never dated and i don't know how to get a girlfriend or impress a girl and i'm getting tired of being single can i get some advice please

[dominosarah]

You just continue to be you jdog.  Be real and be respectful.  Girls pick up on that.

[AnnieBrooke]

specialmom, I agree with what you are saying except for the fact that my boyfriends were a big comfort to me when I was a teenager, especially age 15-17.  Those were rather innocent boyfriend/girlfriend relationships by adult standards, but we would get together, go to the park or concerts or movies, and just talk about our lives with each other. I was thinking the original poster meant the same kind of thing because he said he was looking for a girlfriend (as opposed to something like a quick date and then forget it). I don't think a girlfriend or boyfriend are nothing but a distraction, if you choose a good person, I think it is helpful and supportive at a rather isolated time in life. We're busy at 15, 16 and 17, sure, and we have friends around, sure, but we are also growing and becoming independent whether our mother wants us to or not, and in fact are biologically programmed to start separating from our nuclear family around then. Sometimes that comes with a certain amount of loneliness and a partner (even at 15, that might not last forever) can ease the heart.

[specialmom]

Mine could have easily derailed me.  Thank goodness my parents stepped in, Really.  I'm thankful.  My mom DID know best.

[AnnieBrooke]

Maybe I just had good boyfriends. :)

[specialmom]

I'm totally uncool.  I have a son one year younger than you.  Girls are nothing and I mean NOTHING but a distraction during the age period you are in (with regards to dating).  This is the time to soar.  Be you.  Throw yourself into school work, activities, your friends that you'll have for life (which is rarely the people we date in high school).  :>)  I say this compassionately knowing hormones rage at this age.  But keep this ALL in perspective.  This is you time.  And should be.  And you have a lot to do in the next few years to figure out what the next step for setting yourself up for life would be.  good luck

[jdog429]

thank you

[AnnieBrooke]

jdog, it's hard to say for sure at 15, because the girls you would be wanting to impress are also 15, and it's kind of a flighty age for both boys and girls. You care deeply for a while and then the dial turns almost without you controlling it, on growing up and you are suddenly interested in something and someone else. It's not that there is anything wrong with a 15 year old's character that this happens, it's pretty much just our genetics at that age. Like growing up on a swinging pendulum, and it's normal.

But what would (and will) turn females on about you as you get older (and might also work now to a certain extent) is if along with the confident attitude mentioned above, you are genuinely interested in who they are, what's going on in their lives, what they say, and what they like (and remember it later. A guy really impressed me once when we were on a date because he remembered what I liked in my turkey sandwich from another time when I had ordered in front of him at a deli).  I guess I'm saying that it's great to be self-assured (as long as you aren't pompous), but it's also great to ask interested questions about the doings and opinions (not just the beauty and body) of your friends who happen to be girls. Be as friendly as you are to guys, ask about things, and remember what they care about.

This is a bit tricky at 15, because we are naturally pretty ready to commiserate with each other at that age whether we are boys or girls. It will play better as you get older, and be a big winner when you are 30 or 35, because by then many men are pretty successful and don't seem to give a hoot about their girlfriends' lives as long as they are around to be arm candy. (And if you ever date a woman with children, be nice to and interested in her kids [for non-creepy reasons, of course] and you will not be able to fight off the women. A man who likes kids is worth his weight in gold to a young mother.)

But even now, a little touch of genuine, friendly and respectful interest in their lives won't hurt. It shows you aren't just after a booty call or a shoulder to cry on about your angst. Be a friend and you will find some girlfriends.

[Nighthawk61]

Absolutely agree, take a full interest in a girl, get her to talk about herself and remember what she says.  This is excellent advice.  Know beforehand that while you are making fiends it may not last forever based only on your age. Also, GREAT foresight. Good luck Jdog, and let us know how you're doing. You sound like a great guy.

[jdog429]

thanks guys

[Nighthawk61]

Self confidence born from interests, education, hobbies, sports know how and knowledge, being part of  a team or group at school, all are impressive qualities  to anyone looking at you. Be the best you that you can be, by putting in the time and effort to develop your character, will net you interest from women. Have fun developing your character, and it will be noticed. People, not just women, will gravitate to you.  If there is any way that you could find some work  part time, and make some cash so that you can bring someone out on a date and pay for it yourself, would also be a good way of impressing a girl and getting a girlfriend. All this worked when i was young and in high school anyway. I dated the Captain of the Hockey Team and the guy that had the motorcycle and a part time job in school.  They both had self confidence from the work they put into themselves. I wish you every success.

[Nighthawk61]

It also helps to be part of a larger group of friends made up of both sexes. In this way, while going out on group excursions, you can get to know and impress upon a good girl. Good luck.

[jdog429]

thanks