getting married so soon?

[alyssahann]

im 24 years old & im in a relationship with 34 years old divorce man who have 1 daughter.we been couple for 3 years & we decide to get married as soon as i get a better job.i love so much this guy.my family wont accept him because he come from different religion & race but i dont care about my family thought about him.as long as he love me thats enough & he show me what life are all about.we are very commited to this marrige.beside.we have plan a few thing about marriage too.He & his family are really welcome me into this family & i dont wanna lose such a nice family n he is a great guy & loving dad.his daughter is like my daughter too even my status will be as Step Mom but i love his daughter.the problem is if i marry him i might lose my family & if follow what my family want.i might be regret all my life lose such a nice guy.i have been thinking to get marry first then i tell my family about it or should i discuss with them before get married?i try to talk & discuss with my parent but still the same answer i get' NO'..any advice ?

[specialmom]

Hi.  I agree with the other ladies that you are in charge of your life.  Family sometimes over steps their bounds a bit and I think choosing the mate for our adult children goes under that category.  It sounds like you love this man and have been with him for 3 years and are still saying he is a great guy . . . that is a good sign!  

I would suggest that you go ahead and talk to your parents before getting married.  That way they can't say you were keeping things from them and have another reason to be mad at you.  Tell them that you've thought about it and the only down side to marrying him is your fear that they will not accept him or support you.  But that you sure hope that they will and would like them to be a part of the wedding and your life.  And see where it goes.  If they still resist, send them a nice invitation and give them the best seat for the celebration. They love you and will eventually accept things.  But yes, you have to follow your heart and feel like you can marry the man you love.  Good luck!!

[iam1butterfly]

It's nice to have family approval.... but at 24, you don't really need permission to get married. So, go ahead and let your family know about your marriage plans... and, invite them all to the wedding (if you're having one). Good luck!

[imanaddict]

You are old enough to make your own decisions in life and your family needs to respect that. If they are upset about this guy, ask them why. What has he done to them that is so terrible for them to not like him. Talk it over and let them know that he is the person you have chose to spend the rest of your life with and that's it. They can't run your life forever, so it's time to start somewhere!

As for marrying him first and then telling them later, I think that would only create more problems and give them even more reason to not like him, so I am against that idea...

I wish you the best!