Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

how do i tell my dad im dating a mixed guy?

okay, so im dating a mixed guy but my dad, mom, and stepmom will not approve of it. they dont know, the only person that knows is my aunt, ive known him for 2 years, and he really wants to meet my dad. idk what to do.... plzhelp...
8 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
It's unfortunate people don't judge based on character............  :(  

It doesn't matter about the mix...........people dislike what or who they dislike as the OP knows this mix is something her father, stepmother and mother will not approve of.

How old are you two?  If you are young and live with your parents you may have to let this one go to keep the peace in your parents' home.  

OR

If you are a bit daring like I am I would recommend you FIRST tell your parents about him and try to convince them to meet him ONCE.  

Do they have specific reasons for not liking people who are mixed, i.e. bad past experience?
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
You don't say where you're from and where you're parent's live. If you do marry this Canadian, would it involve you moving away from your homeland and acclimating to Canadian culture (which is a melting pot where your relationship will not be questioned).
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
Do not lose the love of your life for your parents. Indeed, to thine own self be true. You can have a very fulfilling lie without your parents in your life. You can create your own family and not bend to anyone's racist views.

There's also the reality that your parent's will pass on and not be there for your older years. It is you that must plan for the days when your parents are no longer around. (but in spirit). Many people simply do not get on earth, what they learn in the spirit world. While your parents may not accept your choices in a partner on earth, they may well while in heaven.

If i was in love and wanted to spend my life with that love, i would absolutely give my parent's view no claim on my life or my decisions.

How does his parents feel about you ?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I wouldn't just spring it on your parents without telling them about it first. It will not turn out well if you blindside them. That pretty much goes for most things in life. Don't go around blindsiding people because that never goes well.
Helpful - 0
1029273 tn?1472231494
Have you spoke to your boyfriend about how your parents might react to you dating a person of mixed race. Is he aware that they may not approve of him?
If you haven't had this conversation with him, you definitely need to make him aware of this before you proceed with him meeting the parents.
If this is a serious relationship for both of you, you will need to approach this with some caution and good sense because there will be a lot of emotion involved. Explain to him that you do not share the same opinion on race as your parents do.  In your own words, let him know how much you care about him, and that you are extremely concerned about how this may affect your relationship him, and your parents. Once he's thought about everything you've shared with him, then you can decide on how to proceed.

From my own experience, it's never a good idea to just show up at mom and dads house with a guy who they know nothing about, and who they may completely disapprove of based on appearance. To avoid any disaster, do not drop in unexpectedly.

First, I would suggest having an honest conversation with your parents about your relationship. Tell them what you like about him; his good traits, how well he treats you, and how happy you are together.  Let them know that you've known him for 2 years, and that you would like to introduce him to your family.  Tell them that it is important to both of you. At this point, you should discuss your concern about his heritage/race and your concern over how they may react to him. Let them know it would mean so much to you if they would make an effort to meet him.  Try to keep calm and steer clear of arguing if possible.

If they reject the whole idea of meeting your boyfriend, this is something that you will have to accept.  Unfortunately, there are times where you will not agree with someone, but you must respect their wishes...  At that point, you and your boyfriend will need to decide how this will effect your relationship. Will both of you be comfortable dating, if you don't have your parents support? Will it have a bad effect on your relationship, or will their disapproval ruin your happiness together?  That's something both of you will have to come to a decision on...

Once you've reached adulthood, you start realizing that you can make your own choices; you can spend time with whomever you choose...
Good Luck  
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
You know the old quote,  "to thine own self be true".  Be true to yourself.  If this is a REALLY great guy,  that you would be very sorry you passed him up because of your family prejudice,  don't do it.  

If you look at him,  and think everyone will love him except for his race,  keep him.  They'll learn to love him.  If he has real issues that they wouldn't love even if there weren't racial issues involved,  reconsider this.  

You might be surprised about your family's reaction.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It matters not what the 'mix' is

You know whether Your Dad, Mom, and StepMom are going to approve this

You have a decision to make.  The choice IS Yours

Stay with Him despite disapproval

OR

You date ONLY those who will have Your Parents' approval.

Helpful - 0
3149845 tn?1506627771
Hi, just depends on what the mix is. Some nationalities are more accepted than others and it depends on your dads points of view.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
hes canadian and his dad is mixed and so is his mom.
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.