Aa
how to settle family fued...
My man n family don't get along.... they hate eachother... my problem is is that our son will be turning 1 in 2mos n I want my family n his together cuz its only fair.... how ever.... he doesn't want my family around at all... our son isn't "allowed" to c my family cuz they got into it... how do I get my bf to let the past go n move forward for our child(ren) sake? He holds grugest bad n idk what to do... I'm stuck in the middle n frankly I'm tired of it...plz help
Brutally honest??? If you're that tired of it, do something about it. Your bf needs to man up and get over this. He has some issues that he needs to address.... I am no doctor, so I won't offer a diagnosis. Your bf's controlling nature will eventually ruin you, your child, your relationship with the bf, the childs relationship with the bf and potentially the entire family.
What is it that your bf does that had your parents threatening to take the child? What are you doing? There's too many questions to ask with this, and I feel as if we are only getting a fraction of the story.
I feel for you. I really do. Being controlled is not much of an existance, and it kind of seems as if your boyfriend and your family have you in a pinch. I will say this, it is time you start doing some serious thinking for yourself, and you need to put that child first as his mother.
What is it that your bf does that had your parents threatening to take the child? What are you doing? There's too many questions to ask with this, and I feel as if we are only getting a fraction of the story.
I feel for you. I really do. Being controlled is not much of an existance, and it kind of seems as if your boyfriend and your family have you in a pinch. I will say this, it is time you start doing some serious thinking for yourself, and you need to put that child first as his mother.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh hon, I'm sorry. This is not good. First, how could he leave and take the baby unless he kidnaps the child? Is he the sort to do something illegal to spite you? In most states, the mother does not lose custody of the child unless there is just cause such as addiction, abuse or neglect. You don't sound like that is going on at all.
Your boyfriend scares me. His threats are unreasonable and serious. The volatility of fighting and his blaming it on a hard job (so he is lazy to be a good partner?) and his control issues make me see abusive things coming. They are red flags for abuse down the road. And even if he never did actually abuse you----------- who wants to live like this.
A relationship beween two adults includes compromise and communication and respect. These things sound like they are missing from your union with this guy.
In all honesty, I would consider what options you have if things don't work out. If you could live with your parents again and do what is necessary to have eventual financial independence and be able to live on your own------ those are things to think about.
And probably why your boyfriend wants your family to stay away. He knows that you have this option and wants to take that away from you.
I too wish you could stand up for yourself and allow your opinion to count. I don't know how to help you with that but to tell you that you either have to do that or leave him. Not all men will treat you like this, I promise. But we have to break the pattern to stop it.
He controls you with his anger. This is not healthy. Please see that. Please know that you do NOT have to live like that.
I so want to help you but am not sure what I can do. But know that you DO have options and don't have to be dominated by someone like this. Tell him you are taking the kids to see your parents for your babe's birthday and he can go or come along. If he blows up, just leave. Ha-------- easy for me to say though because I don't know how miserable he'll make life for you and the kids if you do that. That is why I am scared for you.
Keep in touch and let us know how this progresses.
Your boyfriend scares me. His threats are unreasonable and serious. The volatility of fighting and his blaming it on a hard job (so he is lazy to be a good partner?) and his control issues make me see abusive things coming. They are red flags for abuse down the road. And even if he never did actually abuse you----------- who wants to live like this.
A relationship beween two adults includes compromise and communication and respect. These things sound like they are missing from your union with this guy.
In all honesty, I would consider what options you have if things don't work out. If you could live with your parents again and do what is necessary to have eventual financial independence and be able to live on your own------ those are things to think about.
And probably why your boyfriend wants your family to stay away. He knows that you have this option and wants to take that away from you.
I too wish you could stand up for yourself and allow your opinion to count. I don't know how to help you with that but to tell you that you either have to do that or leave him. Not all men will treat you like this, I promise. But we have to break the pattern to stop it.
He controls you with his anger. This is not healthy. Please see that. Please know that you do NOT have to live like that.
I so want to help you but am not sure what I can do. But know that you DO have options and don't have to be dominated by someone like this. Tell him you are taking the kids to see your parents for your babe's birthday and he can go or come along. If he blows up, just leave. Ha-------- easy for me to say though because I don't know how miserable he'll make life for you and the kids if you do that. That is why I am scared for you.
Keep in touch and let us know how this progresses.
They(myfamily) has said its the past forget bout it n move on... n that's what I've told him that its time to jus have a fresh start.. all their problems have been over a year ago.... n it jus hurts me soo bad that my baby doesn't knw his aunts or grandparents like my oldest... I have a therapist that comes to our house weekly n she asked me what would ur baby want... he would want to have the same relationship wit his extended family jus like his brother.... he has threaten to leave n take our baby n that's what scares me.... I wish I had the "balls" to stand up for how I feel and anytime I try to talk to him it turns into an agruement.. since we got back together from our lil breakup things are starting to slowly go back to how they were... fighting n not being physically loving.... he works a hard job n says its cuz he's tired n it stinks cuz I feel that its jus gonna get worse.....
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi. I'm going off of your other posts AND this one. You are not your boyfriend's little girl/ child/ etc. You talk to him like an equal adult and tell him that his attitude about your family WILL not work and your family will be present at your son's party. History says your family is always there for you and the boyfriend has not been. They claimed your boyfriend is on drugs or sold drugs or something drug related. Well, they see something in him that gives them that impression. They are trying to look out for you and your kids. They are worried about you. Ask them to back off and give your boyfriend a chance and ask your boyfriend to grow up and realize that it is n't about HIM it is about your son. He needs his extended family in his life and your boyfriend can not CONTROL you like this. If you can't work that out, I fear for you hon. Your boyfriend has either anger issues that scare you, threatens to leave you, or something that makes you unable to be an equal adult in this relationship. You need to be equal to him and it IS important for your family to be included. Boyfriend will have to understand he doesn't rule the you and the kids with an iron fist. You DO have say in what happens. good luck
My dad n bf got into a fight n I guess my dad threaten to come take the baby n my bf never c him again... n that's what started along wit my parents over power my authority wit my oldest son to where he thinks its ok to want to call my mom or when he talks to her he tells on me...
you dont explian why they dont get on,is it a two way thing or are your family willing to put the past to one side,if so then this has to be discussed with your husband,this is your family and i know i would never stop seeing mine for no man,
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