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254521 tn?1197513909

hubby and video games

Okay---I am 28 yrs. old and have been married for 9 years. My husband and I have 3 beautiful kids. The problem is my husband bought the dreaded xbox360 when it first came out. He was really great as far as playing it but he didn't have xbox live yet either. He got hooked up with live this year in Feb. and became obsessed!! He works in the oil field so he's off a week and on a week. On his off time, all he does is play the stupid xbox! He plays from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed! We don't have sex anymore b/c he can't seem to get off long enough to spend time with me. He gets upset if u walk in front of the t.v. (God forbid he die on the game!). He got real good about playing only after the kids and I went to bed. BUT, Halo 3 came out Monday night at midnight. He went to the store to get it (at midnight) and played all night long. Now, all he plays is that game. I hate the xbox so much. I hate looking at it. I hate hearing it. I just HATE it! He says that I stay on the computer all the time, but that's b/c he plays video games all the time and I have nothing else to do. When the kids are here, we practice their sports and do school work. But when they are at school, I do stay on the computer b/c I'm bored. He did agree to do "family night" on Friday nights. We eat popcorn and watch movies with the kids which is great. But after they go to bed, it's game time! Am I being to needy? Should I back off a little? Any advice as to what I can do to get him to understand that xbox is consuming him would be nice. He claims that he can go a day without playing but I haven't seen that yet. I need advice. Thanks!
57 Responses
13167 tn?1327197724
Hmmmmmm.  Maybe on Family Night (which is a great idea!) maybe you should do something ELSE besides staring at that exact same TV.    The only difference is what's playing on that screen,  family nght vs.  every other night for him.

You don't break old habits,  you form new ones.  He's not going to be able to break this habit unless there is a new habit to fill the void,  and even then those stupid games are SO addictive!  

I think you shoul dtake up tennis as a family.  ;D  Best wishes.
254521 tn?1197513909
Thanks for the advice. What you said does make sense (staring at the t.v.). We are consumed with sports (kids) as it is. Not sure we can handle anymore at this time. Yes, they are additive. I didn't realize how much until now.
199284 tn?1200688850
My partner  bought an xbox recently. Before buying it he asked me what my opinionon the subject was to which I said I didn't agree. I hate video games and computer games because they are addicted and you do not even realize it. There are so many things to do in this life to enjoy other than the stupid game and still he bought the stupid xbox. I told him if I'd notice the smallest change in him towards me and our relationship then it'll all be over very soon. He said that wouldn't happen because he doesn't even have time to play and stay playing for more than 30 minutes. I warned him you see. I let him know beforehand what my point of view was. What happens next is up to him. So far he has been going to bed early and we talk on the phone up to four times everyday. His attention to me I have to admit has increased and so I am calmed. He knows very well that these things are addictive and I am not willing to put up with it for no reason.... for no one. A woman needs attention, care, respect and love from her partner and nothing in the world, especially stupid things like a game should interfere.

Your case is a bit different because I don't think you told him not to buy the xbox and plus...you are already married and shouldn't apply drastic ways to correct the problem. Things function differently when you're married even though I feel like I'm already married to him since we practically live together and our relationship is very very healthy.

I don't think you're being needy. Just make him see that he is already addicted to the game and that you need him to give you more attention. Make up something really nice as soon as the kids go to bed and try to keep him from thinking of the xbox. Sorry if I'm not helping much. I'm being interrupted by co-workers since it's already lunch time. Good luck

172411 tn?1287089865
Just about a month ago we my bf and i bought a WII trying to get my bf off the computer yeah didnt work.. he still plays the compuer every night after he gives his son a bath hes on it.. good luck. i hate not haveing time with him. all the kids in bed and still not time for me. im jelous about his games because im left out. not like i like to play the computer but the wii is fun but never have him really play much with me. so its boring..

i got on my bf really hard about how he was not spending time with me and the kids about it, he got upset but now plays with the kids and when they are in bed he plays, but still wheres the time for me.. good luck im not much help at all ive been in this same boat for 2 years..
ksanden
172411 tn?1287089865
208737 tn?1267677426
My hubby is the same way..Man i hate the xboxs,,,,i was dreding when hoal 3 came it, he mpreorderd it in feb..i fill what ur goning through....all my dh has done all week is play 23/7 and guess what he took the week of becuse we are moveing to a dif house so he took of to help me...(ya right) never happend...good luck let me know if u find away to get them away from this crazzy game...Valerie
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