i dont want to hurt him

[BubbyDee91]

I have been with my partner for almost 3 years and over the last few months I have not wanted to have sex or give him oral because of the smell that he gets down there he showers twice a day and is very particular on germs which is a little weird but I don't have a problem with that, he's not surcumsized and the smell really turns me off but I don't know how to tell him that's the reason without hurting him I love him so much and he loves me to but I'm worried he's starting to think I don't :(  can anyone help me please

[Nighthawk61]

I know that the discussion regarding odor will be a tough one, but if it was me, i would want to know so i could do something about it, and not just break up. Putting it in perspective, I'm sure i would much rather be told, and talk to a doctor, even if it meant being circumcized at this time, rather then to lose my future with the love of my life. I'm sure the honesty will bring you closer.  Have some faith and give honesty a chance honey. Keep us posted. Best of luck dear.

[RockRose]

Well, I went to your profile and saw that you're 21 and actively trying to get pregnant.

I don't know whether this aversion to his smell is new,  or the smell itself it new,  but at this point in your relationship where you don't want to have sex with him it's very important that you stop trying to get pregnant.  You really don't want to get pregnant by a man you no longer want.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi buddy, special mom has a very good point and most likely the answer is there. Why does he smell now? Talk to him about this for sure. He will be a bit embarrased but not hurt. Its just a natural thing to talk about. Im sure if you had a bad smell, he would talk to you about whats going on.

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome to the forum.  Well, I'm wondering what has happened here.  You have dated a pretty long time at almost 3 years and this issue is happening just in the past 3 months.  So, you dealt with the smell early on and continued dating him, right?

so, what has changed that you now don't want to have sex with him because of it?

Sometimes as we've been with someone a long time, desire decreases naturally.  And other times, there are other things going on in the relationship and we internalize them and they show by our not being into sleeping with our partner.  Could anything like that be going on?

I ask this because otherwise----  I'm not sure what to tell you.  He's not getting circumsized any time soon, I'm sure.  And you say he is atune to hygiene---  so, the smell is here to stay and part of  him.  I certainly understand not wanting to hurt his feelings but you really have two choices.  You can figure out how to deal with it, communicate lovingly that you are struggling a bit and hope for you can work past it.  OR you move on to someone you are more sexually compatible with (who doesn't have an odor.).  good luck