idk how to tell this guy i slept with that i'm lesbian now

[wendylee848]

this is the first time i slept with a guy in quite a while.. we were really good friends and he knows about my situation. my first girlfriend broke up with me a few months back. he knew i was contemplating my sexuality. it's been really bothering me ever since i got out of that relationship.
..and the other day i slept with this guy and i was just not digging it at all. it hurt, i was uncomfortable, i cried.. i don't like the physical act of having sex with a guy. its awkward and selfish. i hate that hetero sex is all about the man and i don't dig that at all. its selfish, once hes done that's it. when i sleep with a woman its all about her and that's the way its supposed to be. there is no better feeling than making a woman scream in genuine pleasure. i just wish guys understood that. i wish they knew how to do that.
anyways its not that my friend did anything wrong or was bad in bed or anything. i just wasn't digging it. i'm just gay. i'm sure that if i was into that i would have enjoyed it. i'm glad it happened and i'm glad i know now. i felt like i was a dude and he was just being incredibly gay.
but what i'm having trouble with is telling him. i don't want him to think it's his fault. i know he really likes me and i like him i just cant return those feelings.
..i wish i knew how to tell him.

[perch101]

oops typo should read 'definetely NOT not definetely!!!

See what happens when you don't proof read.....!

[perch101]

Hetro sex is most definetely 'all about the man' or a 'selfish act'. Maybe you haven't been with the right guy :-)

But if your not into guys and are attracted to women thats fine - I'm sure theres an awesome girl out there for you.

[getlykemc10]

You're probably going to take this the wrong way but I assure you I'm not here to be mean...

First, why the big deal about this whole thing anyway? You had sex with him willingly you weren't forced. Hetero sex IMO is not selfish it's not always about the guy [[trust me if that were the case they wouldn't have invented positions where women get to be dominant]]. Anyway not every guy is lyke that & if you're a lesbian why would you sleep with a man? I think in a way you were being a lil selfish [[no offense]]. You were expecting something from a man that you said only a woman could give which is understandable. Just be honest with him & tell him the truth. However, if he really lykes you he might not take it well even if he does know you're into women. If you're really clear on being a lesbian & you're views on hetero sex are that strongly then don't have sex with him again....it will only hurt the both of you in the end.

[mami1323]

Well sex with a guy isn't always selfish.  If the man isn't a selfish man.  My fiance always makes sure that I am pleased first and his entire focus is just on that, pleasing me.  I just think that you are not into men and that's ok.  teko said it right, this guy already knows that you aren't interested in men, so it shouldn't be a shocker.  If he's expecting more from you, tell him that you realized that you really are just interested in women.  If he takes it personally, well that's on him.  You tell him just the way you told us in your last sentence. I really like you, but I can't return the feelings you have for me because I'm gay and like women.  Even though we were intimate it doesn't change the feelings I have for women.  

[teko]

Well actually hetero sex is great with the right person. Why did you sleep with him if you are not into guys anyway? Secondly, its easy, you just flat out tell him and let him know you value his friendship. He is not going to take it personal since he already knows you prefer women.