jealousy

[she90]

Is it normal to be jealous when your new boyfriend who used to like your good friend mentions her and talks to her?
My boyrfriend, who Ive liked since last April, told me he liked her when I told him last April that I liked him. me and him became good friends and then a few weeks ago he told me he liked me and now we are together. but it still is getting to me heaps any time he says anything to do with her or says she texted him.
Even though he's open about it all, it hurts me like crazy still.He tells me he loves me and not even like her anymore.
Is there somthing wrong with me or is natural to react like this?

[specialmom]

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[teko]

Jealousy is a normal emotion and will show its ugly head from time to time even in the best relationships. It sounds like this is stemming more from low self image and feelings of insecurity on your part tho. And I understand how that would come about. Honestly, the best way of dealing with jealousy is to not deal with it at all. Let the relationship go where it needs to go and allow your self to grow from it. Personally, I would question why you allow yourself to settle for your friends leftovers? Maybe you need to meet someone who has never had a relationship with your friend first and stay away from those who do? That would be good for your insecurity issues that you seem to be creating for yourself.

[she90]

Thanks for both of your advice.
It is a friend i know well, she doesn't feel anything for him.
I think what's making it worse is my previous boyfriend liked her aswel before he started going out with me, I guess my insecurity goes back to then, because me and my friend arent very simlar at all.
I'm worried it's like they ''settle'' for me because she isn't interested and they know I do like them.
Me and my friend used to be best friends, and are both tall etc so I started comparing because she always got the guy, even though I have now, it still in back of my mind that he could change his mind as her personality is stronger than mine.
Not sure how much sense I make.
But thank you for being able to help give a better perspective on things

[she90]

Thanks for both of your advice.
It is a friend i know well, she doesn't feel anything for him.
I think what's making it worse is my previous boyfriend liked her aswel before he started going out with me, I guess my insecurity goes back to then, because me and my friend arent very simlar at all.
I'm worried it's like they ''settle'' for me because she isn't interested and they know I do like them.
Me and my friend used to be best friends, and are both tall etc so I started comparing because she always got the guy, even though I have now, it still in back of my mind that he could change his mind as her personality is stronger than mine.
Not sure how much sense I make.
But thank you for being able to help give a better perspective on things

[AdenaLoss]

I understand where you're coming from. It's never enjoyable to be reminded of a past crush or attraction, regardless of present feelings. I personally would be more worried and angry if my bf didn't mention contact between an old flame. Really angry. Does he ditch you to hang out with her? does he put you second when she texts him? I don't really mean answer these questions, but is she a threat to you? are you worried that he still cares for her and you don't mean anything beyond what she does? They could just be friends, and he is with you, so that should mean something. I get jealous too with worries about how i don't compare with my bf's other friends and so on. But when it comes down to it, he would love to see me above anyone else. Jealousy is normal and natural when two people get involved with emotions in that way, its a fear of losing what you care about. I suggest trying to not let it get a hold of you to the point where you snap at him or say rude things solely because you are jealous. Not saying you do that, but jealously is completely understandable. Don't be ashamed, and there isn't something wrong with you.