my bf can't seem to get over my past; is a future still possible?

[LogicalAmericanGirl]

My bf and I of 15 months are from 2 very different cultures. At first it was so exciting and anything seemed possible. When we first met we talked for 3 hours, I told him about my past and he wanted to see me and date me and we've been together ever since. The longer we are together the less and less I can talk to him. He seems to hate my past (widow, past relationships, difficult childhood). He shuts down and gets angry. I am finding that our idea of the future is very different....he expects us to live with his family forever (otherwise it appears I don't love them). Women are separated from men in any sort of gathering. Women don't drink or do drugs. A common phrase with arguments is "you're a girl" - which was my kryptonite growing up. There is basically no equality. I find myself doing things he doesn't want me to do in secret (reactance - according to Google - acting out from feeling as if your freedom has been taken away). I have discussed many of my concerns with him and he wants to work on it. I find that actions do speak louder than words. I am worried that he says he wants to change but in reality he expects me to confirm to his future. And in the end I won't be happy and I truly believe that if he conforms to mine, he won't be happy.
We have had some rough patches in life that has put our stress at an all new high and I don't wish to be irrational or drastic and regret anything later but I'm starting to think this won't be healthy long term....

[specialmom]

So, this is what dating is for.  :>)  We are supposed to get to know each other, see different sides and decide if we want this 'forever'.  Most people should be let go as they are not forever people.  This doesn't sound like your forever guy.  He's judging you.  He has expectations that aren't appealing to you like living with his family.  And he is an angry sort.  No, no and no.  It's hard when we invest tie in someone and things seem so great at first but we have to take a practical eye to it and make wise decisions for ourselves.  You can find a better match for yourself!   And have a happier union that may last.  Sometimes when we have been through difficulties, we also glom onto less functional relationships or have a hard time letting go because we have a lower standard for our lives.  Don't do that to yourself.  Move on and find a better partner for yourself!  good luck and please come back and tell us how you are!

[specialmom]

By the way, I really like your user name.  :>)  

[AnnieBrooke]

It does not sound possible for him to stop wanting you to be living with his family in the traditional way. He probably needs to be with someone raised with that assumption.