never get to see my bf

[sweedishcookiemonster]

I need advice
my bf lives 4 hours away we have being together for 2 years now he's just gone into college because his mum made him so now I never get time to see him only in his spare time but his mum wants him to get a job aswell so of he did I would never see him I know his mum doesn't like me she just won't admit it. It's not fair on me or him getting forced away from him pretty much

[specialmom]

Anyway, being 17 is a hard and confusing time.  Let your boyfriend do what he needs to do to mature into an independent adult and you do the same where you are at.  Hopefully it will all work out for you but either way--  stay focused on the things that are going to help you out in life---  school, school after highschool is done or job training, work, friends, hobbies.  This should be a period of great growth and finding what motivates you and will drive you to be a successful person is important.  Good luck.  Don't try to do things out of order----  right now the focus is you and becoming a functioning adult down the road.  good luck

[RockRose]

cookie,  we can only read what you actually write,  and respond to that.  Although you've posted posts AFTER we all responded to the original one,  all we had to go by and respond to was this:

"I'm 17 and for the last few months I've being really wanting to be pregnant that bad I have being doing pregnancy tests all together I have done 7 and of course come back negative I just want to know if I'm like mad for feeling like this or if this has happened to someone else."

I don't know what's going on with you exactly,  and why you today have completely changed your tune from yesterday,  but personally I think it's a lifesaver for you that your boyfriend has now been removed from the picture and you can rework your life and not get pregnant.  

Best wishes.

[sweedishcookiemonster]

If you read that post again you will see that I say I do not personaly want a baby yet I just want the feeling I'm sorry my body is weird 7 pregnancy tests? I took a few like 2-3

[wyrpamatz]

Don't feel judge by what these women have to say they are trying to best understand your situation. Maybe you should get a job and you won't miss your bf as much like if you would just stay at home try to keep yourself occupied.  My now husband and I had a long distance relationship as well he lived two hours away from me sometimes we wouldn't see each other for a long time like a month or two b/c we both worked as well. Its not goin to be easy but it will be worth it in the long run.  snug he really does "love" you then he will try to come see you once in a while for at least an hour or so then you will see if the relationship is worth it.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I'm not having "a go" at You.  I do not know You.  I'm making a simple observation that 17 year old People don't need to make Babies that They Themselves are unequipped to Support and Parent.

I made the "assumption" that You wanted to get pregnant because 2 hours ago in the "teen pregnancy forum, sweedishcookiemonster said She's taken 7 pregnancy tests because She want's to be pregnant - isn't that You?  AND..... if there IS any other reason to be paying for and/or taking pregnancy tests, why then..... it is unknown to me.

I stand by what I said.  I had 3 babies by the time I was 19 years old (16, 17 and 19)  My Husband supported us HimSelf - He HAD to, our Parents were unable to help us - They still had other Children at home.  It was hard, it was very, very hard.  This was years ago - we paid 75$ to own our first car and rented our first 2 bedroom, 1 bath house for 75$/month.  One CANNOT do that today!!  In those days wages also were very small and we struggled GREATLY to have that 75$/month home and that 75$ car, to feed and clothe Our Babies and OurSelves.  He had to go to college at night after working all day to accomplish this.  It was hard on Him, hard on me, and hard on our Babies & it took serveral YEARS before He attained His College Degree and secured a good, well paying job.  I was NOT judging You - I was "advising" You based on my own experience and knowledge.  You still get to decide Your own life in spite of my advice or opinion.

[sweedishcookiemonster]

THAT POST WAS ADVICE I DON'T WANT A BABY YET GOD READ BEFORE YOU SAY AND I HAVE SORTED THAT PROBLEM OUT O CAME HERE FOR FRIENDLY ADVICE AND I HAVE PEOPLE HAVING AGO AT ME I AM NOT PREGNANT I DO NOT WANT A BABY

[sweedishcookiemonster]

My plan on getting pregnant? I never mentioned me getting pregnant by all the comments you guys don't feel love

[TTinKKerBBell]

I just read Your other posts.  It is NOT good that You are risking pregnancy.  You are having issues with Him regarding porn - this needs to be worked out between the two of You BEFORE making a Baby.  You are having issues about spending much time together cuz His Mother wants Him to go to college - so, if You get pregnant, who supports You and Baby.....His Mother??......Your Parents??  It's very selfish to expect Yours or His Parents to be responsible for a Baby not of Their Own making!!

You really need to wait!!!!

FIRST comes Love, THEN comes Marriage, THEN comes Baby in the Baby Carriage.  Best case scenario is AFTER College and a Good job!!

[RockRose]

cookiemonster,  I can picture his mother lying awake in bed in terror that you are going to be successful in your plan on getting pregnant,  and her son's life and future will be ruined.  

[TTinKKerBBell]

You show Your very young age by thinking this Mother is doing these things because She "dislikes" You.  IF She does, it probably has nothing to do with You on a "personal" level, but that She wants Her Son to have Goals and to do well in Life, to be Successful, which, incidently,  will be a HUGE benefit to Him, to His Future Wife and to HIs Future Children!!
She is not being a "bad" Mother.  A "good" Mother is one who Teaches Her Children how Important School, College is - How to take care of ThemSelves and Their OWN Families, to be Successful and to be Responsible in life.  "Kids" don't often understand the Importance of this and Parents sometimes have to take a "hard line" till the Children mature enough to realize the IMPORTANCE of Their Future.

Be patient.  There's plenty of time for You and Him to have a future together.

[sweedishcookiemonster]

Thanks :)

[specialmom]

By the way, I wanted to let you know that we do have some teen forums here at med help that you might find helpful.  good luck

[specialmom]

Well, then the best thing for him is to work and go to college so he can eventually be an independent adult that makes his own decisions.  He's not there and he is being guided to take the steps to get him there.  cheer him on rather than making it about you.  good luck

[sweedishcookiemonster]

He did have a job but she didn't like it so she made him quit meaning he didnt have money to pay for rent meaning he lost his flat he didn't want to go to collage but his mum made him by saying she would kick him out he wanted to get his old job back being a steward

[Londres70]

I wouldn't see this as a way to "keep him from you."  Perhaps she just wants her son to be more focus on his future which SHOULD involve school and/or work.  

I know as a mother I wasn't going to obligate myself to take care of my son who didn't want to work and/or go to school.  If he had decided not to work or go to school he would had been on his own.  

"It's not fair on me or him getting forced away from him pretty much."  So, let me ask you this......Is it fair that she get stuck taking care of him if he doesn't want to work and/or go to school because he needs more time to spend with you?  

[specialmom]

Okay, I see in another post that you are both 17?  Not sure where I got the 19 number.  Anyway, my advice is the same.  If he's not in highschool, college and work is exactly what he needs to be doing.  good luck

[specialmom]

Oh my goodness.  Well, if you care about him, you have to think about his future.  And going to college is important!!  And having money is important!!  Those are the 'real' things in life that we have to do.  Do you go to college or work?  

This has nothing to do with you dear.  This is about a young man doing grown up things that are important to get ahead in life.  

I hope I never have to 'make' my sons go to college-------  I would hope they know it is essential for their future and thus, would want to.  I also hope they understand that money doesn't grow on trees and you have to earn it.  These are very reasonable things to ask of a 19 year old young man.

good luck  (fill your spare time with your own activities, school, work that will further your own future and then you can spend quality time with him when it fits into both of your schedules.)