physical abuse by boyfriend

[sgarima]

I am writing to seek your guidance on relationship problem. I and my boyfriend have had a shaky long-distance relationship for past four years during which he has been verbally abusive (using swearing) and has physically abused me twice over some fight when we met . In response to his behavior I have tried to breakup this relationship but he gets very aggressive and recently after I wanted a breakup over his physical abuse, he apologized and he started abusing himself physically "in order to show his love for me". He has taken to alcoholism and self abuse since I have expressed to leave the relationship. I am concerned about his well being, do you think psychological therapy will help him  in this regard?

[TTinKKerBBell]

RUN!! NOW!!
This is HIS problem.  Leave Him to take care of his own problem before You are harmed!!  This is HIS to fix - YOURS is to seek Your saftey.  Please listen to everyone here

[deadmemory]

Lol, its okay, I actually like it :) I got my profile name from a Slipknot song (my fav band) the song is actually called Dead memories.. I am sure people look at my profile name and are like WTF does that even mean, I assure everyone I am not Goth or a devil worshipper, LoL. I am a Huge fan of God/Jesus. :) I do love my heavy metal music... ok, I am rambling...

I found my soulmate almost 3 years ago (August 23rd is our anniversary) I was still married to my abusive husband but I filed for divorce while he was in prison.. I do want you to know that there are wonderful men out there and you will find one, there is one out there just for you :)

But please do end this relationship! You're a strong woman... Us women are strong!

Krystal

[specialmom]

I'm sorry, I don't know why I add a girl to your user name deadmemory.  Oops  I know you are a girl but am NOT trying to rename you. LOL

[specialmom]

deadmemory has given you heartfelt advice from  her own experience, which is the best kind.

I would say that a simple answer to your question about psychological help for him working, is I don't know.  Perhaps.  But he'd have much work to do.

And this isn't your concern.  A woman shouldn't stay around after the first episode of physical abuse.  It is always unacceptable and if someone can 'lose that much control' to hurt the one they love------  they are flat out dangerous.  What if kids he has irritate him (as they all do every once in a while)?  He can say sorry all he wants but hurting his kids, his girlfriend, or anyone is never okay.  

You need to move on and if you find that hard to do, I suggest that you yourself see a counselor because often there is a pattern involved  that can repeat.  Most people will pick up and leave as soon as this type of thing starts. When a woman does not, it should be explored.  I'd hate for you to have to go through this again.  

Good luck dear but listen to deadmemory girl.  She's been there.  

[deadmemory]

Hello dear,

I am sorry you are going through all of this. I too was in an extremely abusive relationship for 4 years. My advice to you is to leave him immediately. He is a grown man, if he harms himself that is on him, not you!! Hope you have a good day and know you're not alone,

Krystal