can i vent really quick?

[everley2014]

I'm a first time mom. I'm currently 26+4 and I'm 17 years old. I got pregnant at 16. I've just been super depressed lately. And a lot of it has to do with my  sons father.  He is 24. I was 15 and he was 23 when we started talking. He is a real tool let me  just say that. He had been verbally and sometimes physically abusive to me because he started accusing me of having sex with any guy that would look at me. I was young and dumb and thought he would change. I had been off birth control for about 4 months before i got pregnant. I got off of it because it made my body out of whack. Anyway, we still had sex. He refused to wear condoms. He would use the pull out method and that was very successful. Then he started cu,mming in me. I thought maybe he loved me.. If i would tell him not to c,um in me he would get soo mad and accuse me of cheating. It turns out that the only reason he got me pregnant ON PURPOSE was so that he wouldn't go to prison, since he knew my mom wouldn't send him with me pregnant with his kid. He is so awful to me. I broke up with him a long time ago. But he WONT GO AWAY.  I'm so depressed and disgusted. Idk what to do. I just needed that off my chest. Sorry

[Londres70]

"But here is the burn.  Carrying his child means you are forever tied to him.  That is a bitter pill to swallow.  I hate to bring this up and it is in no way to offend you, but in a situation like you would describe, adoption would make a lot of sense to me.  you were not planning on having a baby, you are young so probably not in a position that you want to raise a child right now, the father of the baby is a jerk that you don't want to have to deal with, etc.  And on the side of adoption, it is such a wonderful way for a couple to have a child they've always wanted and can't have themselves.  I'm such a fan of adoption---  one of my dearest friends was adopted and eternally grateful to her birth mother for making that choice.  She had such a happy childhood.  They have open adoptions these days where you can know the child if you want.

I am in NO way suggesting that you won't be a terrific mom if you are wanting to keep this baby.  But this guy will bug you forever as the father of the child.  He can take you to court and try to get visitation or partial custody."..................Specialmom

Totally agree with this.

He isn't going away dear; now he has a reason to stick around.........the baby.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  First let me say that within the first couple of sentences of your post, I realized how very intelligent and articulate you are.  I'm so glad when I see a woman like that because I know she is going to be able to turn her life around.  

This guy is a loser.  Yes, work on restraining orders.  And frankly, do you have a dad, brother, uncle, grandpa, etc. that can tell him to buzz off.  You need adults on your side that stand up with you TO HIM.  

But here is the burn.  Carrying his child means you are forever tied to him.  That is a bitter pill to swallow.  I hate to bring this up and it is in no way to offend you, but in a situation like you would describe, adoption would make a lot of sense to me.  you were not planning on having a baby, you are young so probably not in a position that you want to raise a child right now, the father of the baby is a jerk that you don't want to have to deal with, etc.  And on the side of adoption, it is such a wonderful way for a couple to have a child they've always wanted and can't have themselves.  I'm such a fan of adoption---  one of my dearest friends was adopted and eternally grateful to her birth mother for making that choice.  She had such a happy childhood.  They have open adoptions these days where you can know the child if you want.

I am in NO way suggesting that you won't be a terrific mom if you are wanting to keep this baby.  But this guy will bug you forever as the father of the child.  He can take you to court and try to get visitation or partial custody.  

And it would be the ultimate answer back to someone that tried to trick me . . .   that they do not have power over me.  

then when you are ready, you can be with someone that is a long term partner and stable and make your family.

Just a thought for you to think about but again, that is NOT meant to offend you in any way.

Either way, you again, are very smart.  Stay in school and pursue a career that will give you a great financial future.  go to college and make your dreams come true.  good luck sweetie

[RussianTay]

And this can still be the happiest moment of your life dont let him ruin it for you,think about all the positive things,like being a good mother,seeing your baby for the first time,picking out cute clothing,its very exciting

[everley2014]

I guess what hurts a lot is that this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life  and he's just managed to make it the worst. I also have to go get tested soon for STDs because he told me today that he cheated on me -.-

[everley2014]

Thank you ladies :) and yeah we're working on restraining orders against him.  We  also have guns in the house if need be. So my baby and i will be safe from him. I'm just hurt and confused.

[Staceyyyyy91314]

Dont go anywhere alone. Stay with family members who will protect you and tell the authorities and get a restraining order. You nor your son should be around that!

[mommyofalibra]

Sorry this is happening. Praying for you (if you don't mind). You seem like you've learned from your mistakes and matured quickly. Even though you were trapped, never think of your baby as a mistake. Stay safe and stay sane. I wish there was more i could do to help. I'm in Texas too so message me if you need to. Btw, I'm 21, 22 next month and i have a sister your age. Please message me if you need to talk about anything

[RussianTay]

You need to let your mother call the police on him and get your child out of harms way,that is very dangerous ,your that childs mother ,so your suppose to protect that baby,im scared for you.

[DesireeBocanegra]

Sounds like a manipulative douch that took advantages of a niave teen cuz when your 15 love is all u want trust.me.I know I'm 17 and when.I was 15 I dated a douch.cuz.he knew all the right things to say. Best to change your number and.move away not to use your full name for fb..cuz.those.kinds.of guys don't go away

[everley2014]

He even asked me, if he tripped out while on drugs, or if he killed our son on accident,  would i help him bury the body. I was so in shock and he was so serious. He got mad at me when i told him no. Lord knows what he's planning... But I'm in Texas now where he also lives. When my son is born, I'm moving to Virginia so we'll be safe.

[RussianTay]

I think its best to say he trapped you,you were very young when you decided to talk to a older guy,i had my experience with a older Guy he was 37 and i was 20,he became controling and disrespectful,but one day he decided to raise his hand towards me was the last day he saw me,just because you have a child by someone never let them degrade you and bring you down,if you let him abuse you,who's to say he want try to abuse yall child