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Avatar universal

relationship crisis!

My girlfriend and i have many issues that appear to me to be "created" in her mind. when things are great shes all sorts of messed up. Its very difficultto explain in my time i have at the moment, but i would like to know if her emotional instability that is pushing me away more and more and i love her so much (just adding) is because of her fibro?
6 Responses
3149845 tn?1506627771
Hi, what do you mean fibro? And by the way, true love is long enduring.
Avatar universal
Fibro can definitely affect your moods and emotions; you mental being.  This condition is usually associated with psychological issues/problems.

Is she currently being treated?  
Avatar universal
She's freaked out inside.  It is no reflection on you.  Just provide never ending TLC and patience.  When she flips out, just hug and kiss her.  Reassure her that everything is and will be OK.  She probably feels embarrassed when she realizes she's been over reactive.  Just forgive and forget, what you know is her inner turmoil.  She will grow increasingly trusting of you, and will beat herself up less.  She's more than likely afraid that your patience will run out, and that you will leave her.  Just listen, hold her, and validate that she has a feeling that will pass.  Affection affection, and more affection.  She needs to feel accepted for messing up, rather than judged.  Keep smiling, enjoying her, and remain positive.  Keep telling her how grateful that you are that she is in your life.

As to her fibro, she may need encouragement to maintain her treatment.  Reinforce that you want her to be happy, and that she will be happier is she gets the treatment she needs.  Ever had a whopping headache?  It's pretty hard to deal with anything, right?  There is nothing more difficult to deal with than feeling vulnerable, and she is experiencing steady bouts of overwhelming pain.  Be her relentless rock, and all will be better than imaginable.  You did the right thing by coming here for anonymous help. You' need support, not to add to her burden by taking problems that you have to her while she's going through this....more simply put, you'll have to suck it up when you have any issues with her.  Just don't expect yourself to go it alone.

Love conquers all
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there.  Well, I do think we, when dating, need to look at situations and at times go ahead and move on if the situation isn't working out.  I'm not a believer in love conquering all---  I am much more practical than that.  

If someone you are dating has a chronic health situation that makes them hard to deal with, this should be factored into whether or not you should stay with them.   Dating is for the reason of deciding if someone is a good long term partner.  Someone with a medical issue that creates moodiness on their part would be someone that you should think long and hard as to whether they will be a good match.  

So, you need to decide if you can live with things just as they are now.  Moody partners are difficult to live with.  I've been married for 15 years and together with my partner for 18, and will tell you that things that are issues early on rarely get better.  

so, again, decide if this relationship is worth dealing with her moods for the long haul.  You are not a bad person if they are not.  

And I know it is hard sometimes to think of letting go of someone for a health concern.  However, this is about YOU and your making a good match with someone.  good luck
3060903 tn?1398565123
I feel really bad for your girl. She did not ask for this condition. And her life will have to include a healthy amount of work on her part. She also must know that her burden cannot consume her partner.

I agree that this is about you finding a partner that is suitable for you to excel with through life. Many times a person with a disability feels more grounded and even understood with another who has health issues. She may even resent you for your good health, and that is why she is less than doing her best to help you have a pleasant life.

Dating is about finding that person that makes you happy and feel secure. This relationship, at this time, is not doing that for you. Because there are more than one thought about what love is, what it's meant for, it could confuse you. It's up to you to consider whether you want, or whether you can commit to a life of pain and suffering. And, YOU WOULD NOT be a bad man, or an overly selfish man to want more than that for yourself. and possibly a family, Children that will be grossly affected. Children that you might not be able to entertain the notion of if you were in this relationship.

Just please remember, that your girlfriend would learn from having you break up with her. She would reassess her actions and act in a different way with her next love. And yes, she can have a next love.

This sounds like it's too much work early on in your life. I'm  not sure how old you are, but your main concern should be about getting a career off the ground, in a career that you are excited about. I think you may be too young to be a caretaker right now. I'm thinking you are in your 20's. or younger. When you're worrying about the things that come with this relationship, how are you supporting yourself right now to make the best choices and enjoying your youth, as you should be?

Have you considered breaking up? Is it that bad? It is NOT a dirty word. There are millions of people out there, plenty of fish in the sea for you both to find someone down the road after you've both grown up a bit.?

3060903 tn?1398565123
You don't have to feel bad or guilty for not being able to handle this type of relationship in your life. Please know that in your heart.
Thanks for your post. We're here for you anytime, just keep coming back.
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