Aa
revenge?
Ok this the first question I ever posted ..so here it is. Me and my gf have been together for quite a while now but I found out that she cheated not by having sex with someone else but by holding hands with a guy (that we both know wanted to be with her) so I didn't really talk to her about it I just decided to get revenge.. So I took out one of my old friends and I held her hand in a high school football game and she got upset and asked me why I did it and I said I got revenge on what she did to me. so is that right???
There is no big deal in holding hands and it clearly doesnt mean cheating....the communication between you both needs building,re-defined the relationship,let the like and dislikes be clearly known eachother...and sure u guys will be good when the communicated gap is filled..understanding comes in....followed by trust....and you wont have worry about minor issues.
Sit down gather your thoughts what she did was dumb no doubt what you did brought you to her level here's the other thing what she did wasnt cool truly wasnt but it wasnt that bad either believe me its immature and one day you will look back and laugh that you considerd hand holding cheating or revenge a good idea the good news you must like her if it bugged you that much so both of you just need to work on communication and if its gonna work you both need to mature from what Ive gatherd from the post and believe me I made the same kind of mistakes when I was 17 im almost 20 now and realize how dumb I was from over reacting to little things
crippin. Is this going to end up making you happy?
Is this the kind of relationship you want to be in, where she does something hurtful (and holding hands with a guy she knows wants her IS hurtful) and so you exact revenge - is this a happy way to live?
No.
A LOT of people get in these dramatic relationships, where they aren't treated right and they don't treat their partner right, and it's all about hurting the other one as much as they are hurt, but when you look around the happy serene people who are living rich, pleasurable lives aren't pulling that kind of crap on their partners.
Just sayin'. If you want to live a happy life, pick a happy woman who treats you well.
Is this the kind of relationship you want to be in, where she does something hurtful (and holding hands with a guy she knows wants her IS hurtful) and so you exact revenge - is this a happy way to live?
No.
A LOT of people get in these dramatic relationships, where they aren't treated right and they don't treat their partner right, and it's all about hurting the other one as much as they are hurt, but when you look around the happy serene people who are living rich, pleasurable lives aren't pulling that kind of crap on their partners.
Just sayin'. If you want to live a happy life, pick a happy woman who treats you well.
Two wrongs don't make a right and I, too, think you jumped the gun on this one. You "heard" that she was holding hands with a guy that is interested in her. That could have meant anything! Or maybe the person that told you this thinks they saw something, or blew it out of proportion. Now that you have done it too, the relationship could be somewhat tainted.
COMMUNITY LEADER
No. Revenge never works. We basically look at something that someone else did that was wrong and make ourselves in the wrong as well. It cancels out any good in the equation as then both parties are wrong.
Ask her why she was holding hands. Ask her what is going on with your relationship and what her feelings are.
That would have provided you a place to go with the relationship vs. both being mad at each other.
Love doesn't hurt. And hurting our partner non purpose for revenge will work directly against the relationship moving forward. good luck
Ask her why she was holding hands. Ask her what is going on with your relationship and what her feelings are.
That would have provided you a place to go with the relationship vs. both being mad at each other.
Love doesn't hurt. And hurting our partner non purpose for revenge will work directly against the relationship moving forward. good luck
The first step to a mature and lasting relationship is good communication.
If you can't speak to your girlfriend, it looks like there could be a problem.
Like the user above, I think that holding hands is far from cheating.
Would you consider her hugging someone cheating?
If you don't like it, discuss it with her. Discuss your feelings and set boundaries in your relationship.
What it comes down to is, she may be holding hands with some guy but lets face it, thats as good as a hand shake.
She's WITH YOU.
If you can't speak to your girlfriend, it looks like there could be a problem.
Like the user above, I think that holding hands is far from cheating.
Would you consider her hugging someone cheating?
If you don't like it, discuss it with her. Discuss your feelings and set boundaries in your relationship.
What it comes down to is, she may be holding hands with some guy but lets face it, thats as good as a hand shake.
She's WITH YOU.
I think that it's a real stretch to equate holding hands with cheating.
Anyway, this "revenge" thing, this "...I'll do this to you because you did this to me..." approach seems sorta silly and childish. And, I don't think it's fair. Why not talk to her first about what you heard... which may not even be true... and hear her side of what happened? Discussing before reacting how mature people handle things in life.
Anyway, this "revenge" thing, this "...I'll do this to you because you did this to me..." approach seems sorta silly and childish. And, I don't think it's fair. Why not talk to her first about what you heard... which may not even be true... and hear her side of what happened? Discussing before reacting how mature people handle things in life.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
