Aa
running away and getting married
So I'm 19 weeks and me and the baby's father want to get married, but my family doesn't want us to because I'm only 19 and that doesn't make any sense to me.. Plus I live with my parents and he lived in another town.. So me and him have been saving just enough money to go to Vegas next month and get get married secretly, plus it would be faster and much simple until we can make a real wedding for us later down the road.. I'm nervous cuz I really want to do it but I'm scared that once we are at that moment I might run away.. And I don't want to.. I love him deeply and just want to be his wife...
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there and welcome. Well, with a baby coming, I'm not sure why anyone would be against a couple marrying if they love each other and the guy seems like a good guy. You two both seem like you have some long term plans which is good. Keep striving for them and working hard.
My grandparents were married for a full two years without ever telling anyone. Then they had a civil ceremony with their parents. I always found that interesting. Married 60 years. It doesn't always work out like that but I can not fault a couple having a child from wanting to marry.
It stinks that you feel you have to be secretive. If your intention is to do it and come back and say "surprise" . . . that is going to have some backlash. They sound like they are doing a lot for you and you might owe them some honesty. I don't know how that will go down. It's a little in your face to do this--- 'you can't control me' and 'I'll do what I want' which is true, obviously, but might sting a bit for them when they are so instrumental in helping in your life. So, just think about that a bit.
I'm not telling you to do it or to not do it. This is your life and you have to do what feels best for you. It worked out for my grandparents but they never told a sole they were married before their family knew for a couple of decades. It was their beautiful secret. So, a bit different circumstances. But if you want to be married to the father of your child, I can not see any reason to tell you not to based on what you've written here. good luck
My grandparents were married for a full two years without ever telling anyone. Then they had a civil ceremony with their parents. I always found that interesting. Married 60 years. It doesn't always work out like that but I can not fault a couple having a child from wanting to marry.
It stinks that you feel you have to be secretive. If your intention is to do it and come back and say "surprise" . . . that is going to have some backlash. They sound like they are doing a lot for you and you might owe them some honesty. I don't know how that will go down. It's a little in your face to do this--- 'you can't control me' and 'I'll do what I want' which is true, obviously, but might sting a bit for them when they are so instrumental in helping in your life. So, just think about that a bit.
I'm not telling you to do it or to not do it. This is your life and you have to do what feels best for you. It worked out for my grandparents but they never told a sole they were married before their family knew for a couple of decades. It was their beautiful secret. So, a bit different circumstances. But if you want to be married to the father of your child, I can not see any reason to tell you not to based on what you've written here. good luck
Well I hope your marriage works out for yall after the baby comes! Some couples fall apart before the baby even comes, even if they have been living together for years, but some couples grow even stronger after a baby but you never know :) I always wanted to get married in vegas just for the experience haha but never did
IM done waiting, I'm not planning on running away after I'm married, still go back to plan, come back tell my parents I just went to Vegas to see an old friend and then after that go back to saving our money to get our house and stuff for our house.. I'm still gunna live with my parents and give them my money for support like I've been doing, and just be married to him without them knowing... Until we move in together and living in our home.. Or not tell them until we get remarried down the road, cuz I'm Catholic And wants to be married under the eyes of god.
Well.. I'm 19 also, I'm also a college student. I was working but now I'm 37 weeks.. I was living with another family member but I had to move back home with my parents, because being honest. It's hard, really hard.. and I know for a fact that my parents would support me. I know you love your boyfriend but I think you should wait. You have to think about your child because every decision you make now will affect him or her.. If you guys truly love eachother marriage will come in time..
Also you don't want to worry your family like that. Like OctoberBaby5 said at least tell them. My cousin ran away got married and had a child at 19 and we were worried sick about her; it's obvious they care for you and want the best for you.
And also things change for some couples after you have a baby, so id say wait until after your little one is here for some time and then think about marriage cause it might not even work out, specially if you've never live together alone, good luck! :)
But like I said I think you should at least tell them since they are being there for you right now it would be kinda uncool to just be there bc you need them and then leave and run away bc you dont need them anymore
Before you make any sudden decisions really think it out. Have you guys ever stayed together?? Does he make enough to cover expenses when you go on maternity leave? Do you have enough saved up? Do you have any other support from other family members or friends? (You may need your family help down the road). You know it's just a lot that plays into you just leaving. At least look into the 1 bedroom before you leave so you can have somewhere to go.
To be honest it would be a LOT harder than you think trust me, specially with a new baby, a part time job only, even if he works full time, but its not impossible so at the end of the day whatever you think is best for your baby, not you or your babys father but your baby, is what you should be
The reason I don't move out now is cuz I need my family, I'm at a high risk pregnancy, I'm at risk of either losing my baby or my baby coming out too soon, where its not gunna be develop all the way.. I need them for emotional support.. Yes they might be mad at first but the storm never last
After we get married he would get two check from his work and he wanted to get a one bedroom house, idk if they would let me back in or not.. But even if they did kick me out I would be able to get my own apartment and live there until my baby daddy get his checks, and I get my own insurance Under my name.. I'm currently in college . in school, and have a part time job where I work as a lunch lady for schools, and after my baby's born she will have insurance Under mine, and he's working full time, I'm a part time student with a part time job!
Can yall afford to take care of you and the baby on his own, or the two of you on your own? If your planning on receiving any family help I think you could at least tell them, I mean your old enough tl do it anyway but at least tell them
Does he have his own place? Would they let you back in for your belongings? Is your insurance through them? Is there enough income for all 3 of you on your own? Would your parents be active in their grandchilds life if you ran off? Do you have plans for school? Would you work? Is your state one of the highest rated for unaffordable child care? Are the facilities there any good?
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