Aa
same dream over n over
why do I keep having the same dream over and over I was previous married and very unhappy for 19 yrs. I finally divorced 3 yrs ago and I am not married and very much in love and happy with my husband. I keep dreaming that I'm back with my ex but Im and happy and at times crying and wanting to leave our house and return with my husband because its him I love. In my dream Im crying because I cant leave and I cant get to him. I often wake up looking for him and thankful he is sleeping next to me. Last night the dream was that I found and old friend and had to be with him to help him get off drugs but my husband was in my dream n I wanted to be back with him but couldnt...I wonder if its becuase im afraid to loose him...hmm confused...
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi. People have dreams about their ex's because that person was part of their life. It doesn't mean that you want to be with him or that there is a hidden message in it. You had turmoil with that person (as all divorces cause) and your subconsious deals with that.
It is very very common to dream of ex's. Sometimes they are upsetting dreams and sometimes it is of happier times.
It is true that time puts distance from the situation and that will make the dreams less.
If you are thinking a good deal about the relationship now and still upset over it, a therapist may help. But our brain just goes places when we sleep.
I had dreams for a long time after my mother died tragically that she hadn't really died but was hiding from me and when I found her, she was dying all over again. Very hard dreams. Why was I having those? Because the events of the death were upsetting to me and I was in a bit of shock that she'd died. I had that dream for over a decade. It was my subconsious working out what had happened. I haven't had that dream for 5 years now, thank goodness. Our mind works in mysterious ways.
But it has nothing to do with your current life and your current love. goodl uck
It is very very common to dream of ex's. Sometimes they are upsetting dreams and sometimes it is of happier times.
It is true that time puts distance from the situation and that will make the dreams less.
If you are thinking a good deal about the relationship now and still upset over it, a therapist may help. But our brain just goes places when we sleep.
I had dreams for a long time after my mother died tragically that she hadn't really died but was hiding from me and when I found her, she was dying all over again. Very hard dreams. Why was I having those? Because the events of the death were upsetting to me and I was in a bit of shock that she'd died. I had that dream for over a decade. It was my subconsious working out what had happened. I haven't had that dream for 5 years now, thank goodness. Our mind works in mysterious ways.
But it has nothing to do with your current life and your current love. goodl uck
When you say " I finally divorced 3 yrs ago and I am not married and very much in love and happy with my husband," does "not" mean "now?" And where you say "but Im and happy" do you mean "but I'm unhappy?"
If you're saying you are now in a happy new marriage but keep dreaming you are trapped in the old marriage, or with old drug-using friends, I would just interpret it that you are now feeling safe enough in your new life to emotionally process the pain of the old one. Sometimes when we are in survival, we can't do that (emotionally process pain) because it feels too primary, like we would die if we had to face what we are going through at present. Only later, when we are out of the danger or the pain, can we even think over (at an emotional level) what was happening. It will be a while before time can knit up the raveled sleeve of care, and time and distance are the only thing that will let you processing it in your heart and finally be past it. Glad you got the new man, let him know that at times you are having something like flashbacks in your dreams, and you are SO GLAD he is there.
If you're saying you are now in a happy new marriage but keep dreaming you are trapped in the old marriage, or with old drug-using friends, I would just interpret it that you are now feeling safe enough in your new life to emotionally process the pain of the old one. Sometimes when we are in survival, we can't do that (emotionally process pain) because it feels too primary, like we would die if we had to face what we are going through at present. Only later, when we are out of the danger or the pain, can we even think over (at an emotional level) what was happening. It will be a while before time can knit up the raveled sleeve of care, and time and distance are the only thing that will let you processing it in your heart and finally be past it. Glad you got the new man, let him know that at times you are having something like flashbacks in your dreams, and you are SO GLAD he is there.
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