sexuality

Question

my sickly 17 yr old niece started talking to a girl in a male voice and fell in love with that girl but when she revealed the girl said she wil go along and be with with her and wait for sex change op. now the girl got a good job and she rejected by niece, so my niece not eating or studying cutting herself up and her mom to make her male.  we i and my siter not working and doesn't have any means to do all that. please advise whether this is passing phase or serious

specialmom · Accepted Answer

Well, anytime someone is "cutting themselves up", it warrents a trip to a therapist.  I think I do that urgently.  I'm a bit confused, however.  It is a big leap to being sickly and speaking in a deeper voice to wanting a sex change operation.  I think I missed a few details.  Has she always felt like she is really a male inside a female body?  She sounds depressed and in need of some psychiatric care (not because she wants to be male but because of her reactions to things) and a psychiatrist and psychotherapist would be helpful.  Without insurance, you will have to probably get on a clinic waiting list.  But I'd do that as soon as possible.  good luck

selfpity · Answer

i thank you once again for giving me very valuable insights.in your first response on this issue you had whether my niece always felt like male inside female body, her mother says no, it is only after started talking to this girl in a malevoice/identity via internet/phone and the girl responded, my niece wants become a male for the girl.  so one can't say whether is a passing phase which she will get over as time goes by or serious

specialmom · Answer

Well, with all medications there are down sides.  Some will cause weight gain and some are more weight neutral.  As weight creeps up, a person needs to be on top of it and talk to their physician.  Either a drug modification or a lifestyle modification can help head it off.  But if someone suffers from depression or another psychiatric disorder, it must be treated.  Skinny and suicidal is not living life!  If someone is suffering a disorder due to a brain chemistry issue, it must be addressed.  If someone is not willing to take medication for it, then they must at least take psychotherapy very seriously.  A combination of medication and psychotherapy is the best chance for recovery for true depression.  But if meds are out, therapy should be in for sure!!  Wishing you lots of luck and you sound like a loving and caring aunt.

selfpity · Answer

tks again, i have spoken to her mother about it and also got an appointment with one for her (but here i have to say one thing my own experience with psychiarist  has not been very positive one, they prescribe pills which numbs one and makes you gain weight which lead to obesity and
blood pressure in my case so i can't really say for sure) any enlightenment

specialmom · Answer

Your  niece is seventeen and a minor.  If you fear for her life, then you must act now to help her.  She must see a psychiatrist and if s/he feels she is in danger, they will act further.  I doubt she will really starve herself to death but there is obviously depression going on as well as great instability in the home. Both need to be addressed.  good luck.  sounds very difficult.

selfpity · Answer

thank you so much for your response. it is very helpful but my niece doesn't to see a doctor, she say she wants to die so not eating etc. her unsympathetic and cruel fatherwho is away says to confine my niece in the house st her and not allow her to go anywhere or see doctor. her mother is also not helpful so i suppose we have to leave to fate. tks again

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