sister in law moving in!!!

[tonyt678]

SO I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER 10 YEARS WITH MY WIFE AND HAVE A VERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. WE MOVED TO ATL RIGHT AFTER WE GOTTEN MARRIED  . BECAUSE OF IT BEING RUFF IN CT , NO JOBS AND HAVING KIDS MY SISTER IN LAW DECIDED TO MOVE TO ATL FOR A CHANGE AND FOR A NEW START. MY WIFE SPOKE TO ME ABOUT IT AND SAID IT WAS OK FOR HER TO STAY ALONG WITH HER TWO KIDS AT MY HOUSE UNTIL SHE COULD GET HERSELF ON TRACK. THAT WENT OK UNTIL MY WIFE AND HER SISTER STARTED TO GET INTO IT. HER SISTER FEELS LIKE WE OWNED HER SOMETHING  AND ALMOST STARTED ACTING LIKE SHE WAS THE WOMAN OF THE HOUSE, WHILE IN FACT WE WERE DOING HER A FAVOR. SHE WASN'T PROVIDING ANY KIND OF FINANCING HELP , ALTHOUGH SHE WOULD DO LAUNDRY EVERYDAY , HAVE THE LIGHT ON ALL NIGHT AND HER KIDS EATING ALL MY FOOD . I FELT LIKE I WAS TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER FAMILY WITHIN MY FAMILY..TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT IT GOT TO A POINT WHERE  MY WIFE COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE , THERE WERE  ARGUMENTS , THE COP WERE CALLED AND MY SISTER IN LAW FINALLY GOT AN APARTMENT .
  SO NOW ALMOST A YEARS AND A HALF LATER, SHE IS IN A SITUATION  WHERE SHE IS NOW PREGNANT AND  HAVING A BABY IN 1 WEEKS , ABOUT TO BE EVICTED FROM HER APARTMENT , HER BABY FATHER WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. SHE IS NOW BUGGING MY WIFE TO COME AND STAY WITH US AGAIN... SHE HAVE ALREADY STATED SHE DON'T LIKE ME . I HEARD HER ON THE PHONE MAKING MY WIFE FEEL GUILTY  SAYING OHH IF SHE MY WIFE NEEDED HELP SHE WOULD HELP HER AND SHE HAS A BIG EMPTY HOUSE AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HELP. MY THINGS IS THAT WE TRIED HELPING BEFORE. I FEEL LIKE SHE CAME HERE AND SHE DIDNT FOCUS ON BETTERING  HERSELF BUT WENT AND HAVE ANOTHER BABY WHEN SHE COULD'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE TWO SHE HAD. NOW WHY IS IT MY WIFE AND MYSELF  PROBLEM , SHOULD WE FEEL GUILTY AT ALL . I FEEL LIKE MY WIFE IS AND NOW IS PRESSURING ME TO ALLOW IT. I NEED SOME ADVISE . I DONT THINK I COULD DEAL WITH HER 2 KIDS RUNNING UP AND DOWN MY HOUSE THEY ARE 6 AND 7 PLUS HAVING A BABY CRYING ALL NIGHT ,PLUST DEALING WITH HER ATTITUDE .. I DIDN' T SIGN UP FOR THAT. I TOLD MY WIFE NO NO NO!!!!!!I NEED SOME HELP , NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO . I KNOW IT'S MY WIFE SISTER BUT SHE IS GOING TO COME HERE FOR PROBABLY A YEAR  AND LIVE ON MY ACCOUNT ..I DONT THINKS IT FAIR TO ME AND MY FAMILY.... PLEASE HELP...

[specialmom]

Yes, I agree that you and your wife being a team is fantastic.  Couples should come together as one unit to solve life's problems.  Hopefully there will be a good situation for your sister to go to.  I wish you the best of luck!  peace

[UnsureMS]

It is truly a blessing when a married couple comes together and get on the same page. It allows for love and the household to run smoother. So thank God that is cleared up. I am sorry you are still having to live with someone so unappreciative, it never has made since to me. When your loved ones open their homes and pockets to you, then you should try your hardest to show you are grateful.

A jealous heart can a hard thing to overcome. I do believe your sil is jealous and so miserable she wants everyone to feel that same pain. I am glad that you and your wife are trying not to allow her to steal your joy.as for her kids to be honest I feel sorry for them. It almost sounds like she has no love for them either. If she did she would realize she needs to help them grow up to be productive and to make better decisions then she did. I am wondering if maybe that is why God put this situation in front of you and your wife. Maybe you are suppose to help the kids not her sister.

Everything is for a reason. Just show those kids what a stable family looks like. Show them what the love of god feels and looks like. Those kids deserve guidance and to see that life can be good to them. They need discipline in their lives. If she can't be a good mom they need someone to help them know what is right and wrong.

You and your wife already taken on alot due to her sister. I just know as I was reading your post it seemed the children was the last of your concerns, and like something was blocking that big part of the puzzle. God has a plan for this situation too and maybe those kids are the key. I pray that you will pray over this and understand that it is only a suggestion. But in my life I have found that sometimes our perspectives cloud what god is trying to do for us. May god bless you all...

[nursegirl6572]

Oh my.....the sooner, the better!!!

SO glad to hear your wife is backing you...and so sorry that her sister is not appreciating what you've done for her.  

[tonyt678]

Thanks again for the encouraging words. I will admit we definitely  need prayers. Thankfully , myself and my wife are on the same page now and I  feels like we have exhausted all our resources and ways of helping her sister. My wife has had it and is at the point where she is saying that my sister in law has to move . She has no appreciation and certainly don't care about anything. I think there is a bit of jealousy . My wife would tell her that " myself and my husband aren't rich we make sacrifices and work very hard for what we want. She don't correct her kids when they are messing things up  in the house . Almost to say screw you guys . My mom always say never bit the hands that feeds you and that is exactly what she is doing. I see no difference from the first time she moved in . No care  and  no appreciate . I pray to God that she finds another shelter and she is able to move out. She made my daughter cry last night because my wife cooked and she was giving her kids seconds without even asking my wife if I had eaten  dinner yet which i didn't . then my daughter ask to hold the baby she got mad and said  "whatever" causing my daughter to cry. ....Anyway, like i said hopefully soon ,  very soon she will move can;t wait!!!

[UnsureMS]

This is my first time reading all these post. But I want to say a few things. Your wife sounds like a powerful woman of God out to live by His will. That is a beautiful thing to be able to love as Jesus did. She has asked you to be praying over this situation as well. Have you prayed with her for guidance? The reason I ask is it would help for you two to be on the same page and be able to sit down with her sister together. This will show the sister that the rules of the house are serious and there will be consequences. Plus to be honest I truly believe that when a couple prays together they stay together and can work better as a team.

Another thing is I am wondering if the sister isn't jealous of what ya have. You have said the father of her baby is worthless and same with the other fathers. I can almost guarantee that your sil did think she loved at least one of those guys and that they hurt her in some way. So her jealous drives her to want to make you and your wife's life miserable to. I would recommend her sister trying to talk to her and maybe even get her help to figure out why she is acting as a child still. This could help her to get on her feet.

I know that it seems impossible to help her but I see that your wife won't stop trying to help her, and it's only because she loves her. Therefore this maybe your best course of action. Whatever you do remember your faith I am confident that you trust in god just from your wife's letter to you. So turn to him for guidance and how to not let the negative feelings such as anger, irritation, and guilt get the best of you, your wife or your marriage.

One more thing your wife has such an amazing heart that she allows her sister to run over her. i would sit down and with a very open and caring heart talk to your wife about how god wouldn't want her to let anyone use her in this manner. That she is a beautiful woman of God who needs to live for him, and only can do so much to change someone else's life. I believe she loves her family so much she takes a motherly role in it. Their is nothing wrong this but it can be a heavy burden to handle. Therefore she needs a strong man to help her and to be a loving, understanding husband. Please pray over all this and be there for your wife cause she is the one who needs help right now the most. She is torn and scared of losing you and letting her family down. Be her Godly husband and help her. May God bless you all and keep you all strong...

[nursegirl6572]

Oh dear.  She sounds like a REAL piece of work.  I feel for the kids.

I think you have EVERY right to be mad, and to be setting boundaries, does your wife agree?  I hope she is on the same page with this.  How unappreciative and moochy she sounds.

Time for her to have to fend for herself.  If possible, I would suggest looking into some options for her kids, legally.  She is not responsible enough to be a mother IMO.  Who can't follow shelter rules?  What kinds of rules did she feel she was exempt from?

I wish I had something to say...all I can say is TRY not to let this come between your wife and you.  Be gentle with her, as I'm sure it's hard.  She most certainly doesn't want to see her sister like this...but she really should be putting you and your marriage first at this point.  You guys gave the sister another chance, even after she "crapped" on all the others...you didn't have to do that.  Now she's acting entitled and refuses to even do her part to help by cleaning and helping around the house.  That's a VERY fair deal!  She has some audacity, huh?

Best of luck....thanks for the update...let us know the next saga!  

[tonyt678]

So here is an update. After my sister in law came from the hospital she had to move out from her apartment and we helped get into a shelter. it was very nice and clean place. Anyway, she was complaining about certain things which I thought wasn't a big deal.Seems to me like she had a problem abiding by their rules. She was eventually kicked out of the Shelter  and Myself and my wife  was force to take herself and her 3 kids in. I hate it  because she isn't contributing anything and she really don't have the best attitude. I get the feeling she feels we owe her , not appreciative at all. I sat her  down and explain that this was not going to be a long stay and it's only because of her sister I'm doing it. I ask her what was going to be her contribution seeing that she does do couple hour CNA. She told me she couldn't do anything now cause she is in a hold now. She don't want to contribute anything . Yesterday she ask my wife if she could do the cleaning for us instead of the house keeper. I am saying to myself B***** you living here for free and eating all my food not  giving **** . you should want to clean the entire house for free all day everyday to earn you keep.  she has the Audacity to ask my wife to pay her .. I got so mad today i am going to tell her I am giving her one more month here that it, and get the F** out . Im pissed sorry for the swearing but that exactly how I feel right now..

[nursegirl6572]

Oh, no doubt the sister seems to be VERY irresponsible.  It's sad!  You won't get an argument out of me on that.  

The crux of the problem lies in the fact that you resent your SIL for putting your wife through so much turmoil, and essentially disrupting your lives as a result.  I'd be irritated by that too, considering she put herself in these situations, that almost ALL of these issues were avoidable.  Also, it always seems like those kinds of people...the kind of people who rely on everyone but themselves to survive, are always the least grateful and appreciative.  That's so maddening.

It's clear that your wife feels obligated to take care of her in some way.....and it sounds like with the talks you guys have had...that she GETS that there needs to be boundaries with the kind of "help" she offers (like no moving in), so that's good.  

I would just express to your wife kind of what you told us here...that you feel protective of her, because she's put in these tough situations as a result of her sister's lack of responsibility and accountability....that you DO support her and understand that it's important to her to do what she can to help her.  You just worry that her sister will continue to take advantage and never really learn (or try) to support herself and her children, and when does it end?  If that's the case, at some point, it would probably benefit your wife to come to an ending point...a "no more", where she recognizes that her continued "help" really only equates to enabling.

This situation was extra hard, because the sister really DID encounter some pretty big problems and concerns.  After she recovers and is d/c'ed from the hospital, HOPEFULLY your wife will start to realize that there's only so much she can do to help someone who refuses to help herself.

Do you think your wife would be open to the idea of talking to a counselor?  I think it may be beneficial, for her to work through how she's feeling (probably very "stuck in the middle"), as well as to explore the whole situation.  One plus would be that a therapist would probably gently work with her to start setting more boundaries, and may get her to realize that her "help" is really not what her sister needs.  If anything, it sounds like the sister needs some tough love and for people to stop bailing her out.  Your wife has got to find a way to accept that on her own though...it's not going to happen coming from you, because her sister is a HUGE point of contention between you two at this point...so any kind of advice you try to give her is going to be met with confusion, with your wife probably wondering how much is genuine concern, and how much is coming from resentment and animosity.

I'm glad you've been open to our suggestions.  Not always easy to hear this stuff.  I would feel exactly like you feel in this situation.  I couldn't imagine actually...it WOULD be extremely frustrating.  Keep us updated on what's going on if you could!

[tonyt678]

Thanks, and I hope you guys don't think i am insensitive about her sister being sick. I am very concerned about that and wish her a quick recovery.I pray that God will give me the strength .. I really don't want my wife hating me for this , it's just that I think had her sister done what she was suppose to do this  wouldn't have happened..It seems like her sister is always going to be a burden. now she is asking for us to store  more stuff in our garage after my wife is paying for storage for her, plus she still has things from when she first moved in there.. I guess now is just these things thats bordering me and knowing the way her sister is . she is very demanding and almost expect us to do things for her because we are family.. If she had a different attitude i would offer more  help but because of the way she is I choose not to  ...But I will support my wife in helping her because its her sister... Thanks

[nursegirl6572]

I agree with SM.

Your wife has spelled it all out, quite eloquently I might add.

If her sister is hospitalized with pulmonary emboli (blood clots in the lungs) and pneumonia, those are indeed VERY serious conditions.

She's asking you (begging really) to have some compassion, and try to understand, regardless of your own feelings, how this is very hard for her.

The sister in law didn't come live with you, which we all pretty much agreed with you that you should hold your ground.  So, that's good.....but I don't agree with further adding insult to injury, and nit picking about her time, attention and focus being elsewhere right now.  It SHOULD be.  I think you're being a little selfish expecting your wife to NOT give her sister's situation the time and attention she is.  

For your wife's sake, put your feelings for your SIL aside and show that you're supporting her, as she tries to help her sister.  She needs you to be by her side, supporting her, not putting extra demands and extra stress on her.  That's really not fair.  If you don't, I'm afraid your wife is going to carry around some pretty major feelings of resentment toward you that you made a very hard situation even more difficult, and that she didn't feel supported when she was trying to help her sister through some scary and unfortunate situations.

I hope things normalize soon for all involved.  And, I hope you REALLY take our words to heart.  Winning some battles just isn't as important as surrendering, for the right reasons.  The right reason would be for your wife.  

[specialmom]

I think you need to cut your wife some slack.  She's really doing the right thing in my opinion.  

I think she wrote you a beautiful and heartfelt letter.  I am a wife, mother, sister and aunt.  I take all jobs very seriously.  And at times, one area will demand more attention than the other and when that happens, I expect my loved ones to be supportive as I work in that area instead of resentful.  That is my expectation.  

Your wife's sister is at a crisis point. She's in a shelter with a baby.  IN A SHELTER.  I never mentioned this possibility as mine was to either have her mother or family come and stay with her or to bring her back to where they live or for you to cough up the dough while she gets established in government assistance programs to then take over the bills.  She's in a shelter after a health issue with a baby. I can't imagine doing that to my sister.  I get that she is not a responsible person and bothers you greatly.  And I understood why you don't want her in your home . . .  and she is not.  But then even that isn't good enough and now you don't want your wife to worry and try to be there for her sister.  

Back up and see this from her point of view.  Do not give her a hard time for caring about and for her sister/nieces/nephews.  I would have a hard time forgiving my husband for that to be honest.

That's my opinion.  She's not in your home but don't be so cold that you then want your wife to not care as you don't care. To feel the same way about her sister that you do.  Not fair.   good luck

[tonyt678]

So like I said my wife have been consumed by her sisters situation  , always doing this and doing that really almost forgetting her duties at home. so I wrote to her and this is what she wrote back... what do you guys think...

I'm sorry T..You're right, I'm so worried and extremely focused on my sister and her health. Forgive me please I was under the impression you understood what was going on. . it's not about shawn (the baby father) right now. he actually told my sister, "i can't sit home and take care no baby, you need to hurry and get your *** out the hospital" - that cuts like a knife and hurts - he is f**** psychotic Tony - im dealing with a lot and yes, im very worried for my sister's health right now - i didn't think she would wind up in the hospital. this is no joke. im sorry im not giving you full attention right now, but this is my family too and i just can't ignore the urgent needs of those who might need my help right now. ive been praying and i hope you're doing the same thing - do you know what it's like to have a blood clot in your lungs? well she has several and now she is being treated for pneumonia - two deadly diagnoses that can kill you - plus she is a diabetic.  times like this, i need you to be strong, strong minded and strong willed and understand im not purposely neglecting you, but rather have a tense situation going on that needs attention more so than the affections i give to you on a normal basis. it's temporary..but when your dad was sick you see how your family gravitated to his bedside, prayed for him, visited him  and he got better - well i don't have that much family - it's just me, my mom, sometimes jane, sometimes shawn (who really ISN'T family) so I have to double over in my efforts to be there emotionally and physically because we are lacking overall. PLEASE understand this Tony- I want you and love you but this is no joke right now. -my sister is very ill and yes I'm literally consumed with thoughts of her dying and who will watch kids, who will bury her, what money, no insurance - thoughts, constant thoughts and mainly PRAYERS...and i ask that you do the same Tony. there are so many ways you can be a good husband - i want you to be by my side even if you feel someone wronged you - God will bless you more when you DON'T hold grudges, or keep account of injury, but rather ask how you can be of help - especially since none of us are promised tomorrow - be the man I married, my life partner and my friend and get involved and try to be there for me and  my family at this time - even if it means compromising - God will bless you in the end
my love always,

[tonyt678]

thanks a lot..

[Nighthawk61]

I'm so glad that you didn't have to have the SIL move in. You dodged a bullet there man. It's good to know that your wife is still helping her sis. I sure hope that this is the end of her having children, this way. I'm glad you reached out here and know that you're not alone in all of this.:) NH

[tonyt678]

so now my SIL is out from the hospital and is in the shelter with her baby. Her two other kids are with a family from the church through some program ...I am happy that she didn't have to come here. Although, my wife still is consume by all her sister issues helping her with this and helping her with that. I could deal with that rather than  dealing with her at my house...thanks for everyone advise and comments..

[nursegirl6572]

I agree with SM.  I think I too would have to help the baby.  You can do that with VERY clear boundaries that the SIL will not be moving in in any capacity, that when she gets out of the hospital, she and the baby will have to be on their own.

If you have the financial wherewith all to rent her an apt, and maybe cover the initial costs and a few months rent, then that's a win-win situation.  After those few months, she's on her own.  She's a mother and needs to fend for herself for goodness sakes.  That's the thing too...what your wife may not be thinking is, letting her move in again isn't HELPING her in the long run, it's just enabling her and making it easier for her not to be responsible for herself.

So, that's my advice...take the baby in, and prepare a place for the SIL.  When SIL is discharged from the hospital, her and baby go to her apt.  Of course you would be doing this knowing you'll never see a penny of any money you spend on her.  If you accept that your contributions are a gift from the get go, that's wise.

When this settles down, you also need to CALMY communicate to your wife that this is putting a huge strain on your marriage...her not backing you up, or being sensitive to how you feel about the whole thing.  

I hope you can find a solution that works for all involved.

[specialmom]

I'll be honest.  Now, I don't think the sister should move in with you.  But in a crisis, I'd help family.  I would take in my sister's newborn until my sister got out of the hospital.   I just would have to do that.  What else do you do with a helpless baby?  I couldn't put a baby/family into foster care.  Then you could still have the apartment waiting and when your sister gets out, your wife can go there to help her as she recovers and gets stronger.  

I definitely hear ya that you don't want them there.  I get it and I wouldn't want a family moving in with me either especially after you gave this a try and it was a disaster.  That is big picture and I definitely think you stick to your guns.

However, in a crisis, I'm not sure you can say no.  I'm so very sorry as I am totally on your side.  But I picture if this were my sister and I couldn't let a baby go to foster care.  But I'd be clear that it is not a long term thing.  And I'd go ahead and try to figure out when sister is getting out of the hospital and I'd rent a place for her.  And I'd have your wife help her apply for assistance so she can have her own income to pay for the apartment.  

Does she have other kids though??  If her mom would come and you rented an apartment for say 2 months and the mom could watch all the kiddos until she gets out of the hospital (or another sister would work too) and your wife could help her with getting assistance so your financial help is temporary, that would solve a lot of problems??  

[thirdtimemum]

I totally get where you're coming from.......and your wife needs to see where you're coming from too, remind her of how you two were the last time she lived with you. I mean, there's helping people out, and then there's helping people out to the point your marriage etc, is on the line. The baby is totally innocent in all of this, and I see where your wife is coming from in wanting to look after it, it's human nature. This is a really tough one, there's the want of wanting to do the right thing morally, and them also the need of wanting to protect your wife, family and your home, which is understandable, as I couldn't imagine anything worse than anyone coming to stay with me for an extended period of time, I have a household to run with 3 kids in it!
What I can't understand is why your wife doesn't get how disruptive this is to your homelives, at least my partner and I agree on this sort of scenario, but I guess all you can do is the right thing on your behalf. Personally, if it was me, yes, I would take that baby into my home while the mum is on hospital, and in the meantime get an apartment for her so when she gets out she has somewhere strAight away to go to, and if your wife is there 24 hrs a dAy to help her out, so be it. You have done your bit to morally help out, and in the meantime your household is not being disrupted. Best of luck :)

[tonyt678]

it's 242am my time and myself are having a steaming argument about this baby coming here ,,but you know what once she's brings the baby here I'm not coming home cause it's ********.. I don't think it's right.. her sister has her now thinking i don't care bout her family and that she is allowing me to treat her anyway.I don't give a damm now.. I just won't be here I will excuse myself from the situation .. its just ******** that you have people like this being a damm burden to people.. i work hard and i take care of my family why should i have her run me off my house .. its ******** but i can't deal with it...

[specialmom]

Ugh, tony, this is tough stuff.  Things just got complicated.  Who would have predicted this??  What about ANY other family???   ugh, I just don't know how you're going to convince your wife that the baby can't come.  I get it.  I really do but circumstances are making this a situation in which it is sure hard to not do this.  I would talk about a CLEAR exit plan.  make it clear to your wife that there is a time frame in which baby and mama/the sil are gone.  even if you have to go rent her a place yourself and move her things.  BUT, that means you have all her kids now too and she'll need care when she gets out if this is a serious health set back.

I would call her mother, your mother in law, for advice.  Maybe if you pay for the apartment, she an come out to help and stay with her and the kids in that apartment??

[tonyt678]

because of her damm irresponsible *** she is in that situation.. she has two kids at her mom and want to have one at my house... she is grown and I'm not going to show any sympathy to her.. she knew what the hell she was doing when she laid up with that man,,, and plus  she knew the man didn't want a baby .. although i don't support it she should have had an abortion... I hate people who always wants to be the damm victim..... instead of bettering herself here she went and laid with a dam man that didn't want a baby . now she is saying ohh I tell you guys to leave him  out of it.. How the hell are we suppose to leave him out of it when he is the one that got you pregnant you fool. i can't stand these foolish ladies now a days.....

[tonyt678]

so now my SIL had the baby last tuesday .Apparently it was at a teaching  hospital  and while having a c-section the doctor slightly cut her liver  but because she signed a waver nothing can be done about that.She have been in the hospital for over a week now still bleeding . They are now saying the baby has to go home because he is heathy and can't stay in the hospital.. My wife is now telling me she is going to take a few days and bring the baby here because the social worker in threatening to put the baby with another family.. The stupid father of the child wants another lady friend of his to take care of the the baby and My SIL does not want that.. I really didn't want her or the baby to come to the house .. I told my wife no .. I don't want the baby here... why are we the ones to take the responsibility let  the dammm father step up and take care of his child..I'm sol freaking pissed off.. I don't want to deal with anyone else baby period .. call me mean I don't give a dammm...

[remar]

Yes, she could go stay with the baby's father for awhile. This is his baby and his responsibility, not yours. You've done so much for your sil already and she did not make any changes but only made things worse for herself and her children by getting pregnant again when she can afford another child.
I would question the shelter story too. If she has 3 children one being a newborn baby, I highly doubt they would make her wait 2 weeks to move in.
I wish your wide was behind you with all of this. I told you my husband and I have had several family members come stay with us. Always it was supposed to temporary and always it turned in to at least and year and sometimes even years. We felt sorry for them and tried our best to help but it caused so many problem for me and my husband. As long as they knew they had a place to stay and food in their stomach, which we paid for, they were content not to change their lives. We put our foot down and promised each other that no one will ever live with us again. We couldn't be happier with our decision. It's sad to know their our some people who are leaches.
Sorry for the long post. Stand your ground. I hope your wife will be on your side and see that you're only trying to do what's best for your family and also for your sil and her children.

[tonyt678]

so now my wife and myself are arguing because she just spoke to her sister and was told she has received an eviction notice . My SIL  now is going to a shelter after she has the baby tommrw. The place will not be ready for another two week . My wife wanted her to come until it's ready . I am still saying NO .. I think this might be an attempt for her to keep saying the place is not ready and next thing you know she will be  settled in at our house . I am so pissed of now. I want nothing to do with this.. Why can't she go to her baby fathers house for the two weeks..It's crazy.....