we had a fight ... what shoud i do

[sanan05]

Hello..
Well i'am having a problem . Its been 4weeks now n i didnt see my boyfriend and i'm missing him a lot n each time i tell him that i wanna see him he tells me that he cant or he that he will see,  becoz of his work , n i do undrestand i'am not going to tell him to leave his work n come to see me , i know the limits .. But this kinde of distance between us maked me feel the emptinessn that he is avoiding me or do not be xith so i asked him n he said that he whould love that we meet but busy busy ...   n he said that he said that he would to  day with you my love not only few hours .. But i'm confused should beleive him or not but the good thing i'm not telling him know that confused .
Well yhe fight was bcz few dayd a go we were on the phone ,i called him bcz i miss him n i wanted to check on him , n we were talking just fine he was asking how was ur day ...ect so at the end of the pphone call i said " should i leave know" n then he started shouting at me telling xhat a stuped suestion , do you want me to say yes so that you tell me you r not nice n you have changed , i was shoked .. So explaned to him what i ment it is nothing just something to say at the end of the conversation ... But he shouted again so i said to him . Stuped question means a stuped person n my question is not stuped . Do you ma ke problems . N u r overating . N this not a reason to treat me this way .. N than we hang up ... N we didnt speak for  3dayd know ,i didnt call n he he didnt as well .. I do not know what to fdo i know that it is not my mestake .. I didnt do any thing rong .. But i'm afraid that he doesnt call .. Really feeling bad ...

[sanan05]

hi thnx again .. well we spoke n we mooved on from that problem , so t told him that it is hurd to build  relationship n i want to , but i do not know if u want to as well .. so he said that he have some problems at work n with his family n he asked me for some time , that i give him some time n he also said that doent mean that we should stop talking ... I told him that he have the right to get the time that h needs ;; but deep inside i feel that something is wrong n i do not know what to do ....

[specialmom]

Sweetie, you kind of missed my point.  I was stating that the problem in the phone call was YOU.  You were passive aggressive and threw out a question just for a reaction to show you are unhappy.  This is for you to own and to address in terms of evolving the way you communicate with this or any significant other.  good luck

[sanan05]

hey thnx for responding .
well i after i red what u've said , i called him once but he didnt pik up ... so i stoped calling him , n i really don't know what to say to him , nhow to make every thing work , bcz  he is a really difficult kinde of  guy ..

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, your question was attention seeking dear.  If you really want to know if you should leave him----------  would you just ask that at the end of a conversation?  You were trying to convey that you miss him but really missed the mark.  What you actually said to him was "I doubt our relationship and I doubt you."  I'm sure that was not the message you intedended but that explains why he got mad.

You need to try new methods to communicate with someone.  I simple "I miss you so very much and can't wait to spend more time with you.  I'm just hoping that this will be soon.  I'm really lonely without you."  Rather than what you did which was very passive aggressive.  it was almost threatening sweetie.  

So, I do think you messed up.  What you should do is wait to talk to him and then apologize and tell him that you just miss him and will try to just say that rather than other things that you aren't feeling (like should I leave you).  good luck