Aa
we're in love but hes married . what should i do ?
So I really love this guy and he loves me so one night we kissed and we were together for a while and had relationship but he's married and has 3 kids he's a lot older than me by 12 years but he doesn't love her anymore and my family and his family found out already and they're getting a divorce and I don't know what to do I knew he was married and I feel bad for what happened if I could go back in time I would change everything but it's too late everything happened already . So now he wants to be with me and me too but should I be with him ? Or should I try to convince him to stay with his wife and kids ? I know I'm going to get mean comments and I accept them but I really want advice . I really love this guy and I just don't know what to do anymore . I'll be sad if he ends up being with his family but happy for his kids . He tells me he wants to be with me and I could tell he doesn't love his wife anymore but if he can still be with his kids I'd be happy . I know I did wrong I know .... But should I stay with him or.not ? Please help ?....
This guys has a wife and 3 kids at home, and thought nothing about cheating - what makes you think that it won't be exponentially easier for him to cheat on you? He can't respect himself for cheating on not only his wife, but his family, and he can't respect you either. I'm sorry, but this i believe. I don't think he's going to trust you after the "honey moon period" is over, and I don't think you're going to be able to trust him either.
And that's saying nothing of you spending the rest of your life with a Scarlet letter attached to your back saying "kick me" It's not easy to "blend" a family, but when you have an ex wife that's been hurt by infidelity inflicted by you , the chance of any of kids getting by that is slim to none. If they're too young now, they'll know soon enough and when they do, not if they do, you'll be looking pretty bad to them forever.
And if that doesn't scare you, if he can "cheat" with a women lying to his wife and 3 kids, lined up every night looking at him, how easy would it be to cheat on you, a cheater? I firmly believe that after the honey moon stage is over, that you'll both mistrust each other. Depending on how old his 3 kids are, he'll be bleeding money til they're out of college.
I think that if he "loved"you, he would have separated from his wife to keep your name good, so that he could be with you, to shield you from the shame. As it is, it sounds like he just found a younger women to play with and he got caught. -- so now he wants you by default? Would he have chosen you to move in with if he wasn't being asked to leave his home? Would he have preferred to have a women on the side and stay with his kids, forever? Would he have found a women younger than you (if that's possible)?
I know how hard it is to blend families after divorce, and i think that you're setting yourself for a world of hurt if you stay with this man -
And that's saying nothing of you spending the rest of your life with a Scarlet letter attached to your back saying "kick me" It's not easy to "blend" a family, but when you have an ex wife that's been hurt by infidelity inflicted by you , the chance of any of kids getting by that is slim to none. If they're too young now, they'll know soon enough and when they do, not if they do, you'll be looking pretty bad to them forever.
And if that doesn't scare you, if he can "cheat" with a women lying to his wife and 3 kids, lined up every night looking at him, how easy would it be to cheat on you, a cheater? I firmly believe that after the honey moon stage is over, that you'll both mistrust each other. Depending on how old his 3 kids are, he'll be bleeding money til they're out of college.
I think that if he "loved"you, he would have separated from his wife to keep your name good, so that he could be with you, to shield you from the shame. As it is, it sounds like he just found a younger women to play with and he got caught. -- so now he wants you by default? Would he have chosen you to move in with if he wasn't being asked to leave his home? Would he have preferred to have a women on the side and stay with his kids, forever? Would he have found a women younger than you (if that's possible)?
I know how hard it is to blend families after divorce, and i think that you're setting yourself for a world of hurt if you stay with this man -
I think you should date another divorced guy and send this married guy back to his family............ Your expectations are now high and only a mature guy could fulfil that........... Find a guy who is already divorced...... It will save you from guilt and no pain will be involved
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, infidelity happens. However, it's never a good start to a new relationship. Relationships that begin while someone is with another has a very low success rate. You know something about this guy. He can make a commitment AND can cheat on that person. When he decides he's not into it anymore, instead of working on it, he finds someone new. He's shown you this first hand. There is a really good chance you'd be in his wife's shoes at some point down the road AND you'll never fully trust him throughout your relationship because you know of this character flaw. AND, baggage. Lots of baggage. You will be the other woman to his kids. His family (as in parents, siblings, etc.) will not be thrilled that he has cheated and found someone new and this will make that awkward. And overall, it's a long, difficult road. That's just reality.
If it were me, I'd extricate yourself from that situation promptly. Just don't be involved with him anymore. No matter how much you love him. Love is just an emotion like any other. You'll move on, get over it and find a BETTER person to be with. That's what I whole heartedly think you should do. good luck
If it were me, I'd extricate yourself from that situation promptly. Just don't be involved with him anymore. No matter how much you love him. Love is just an emotion like any other. You'll move on, get over it and find a BETTER person to be with. That's what I whole heartedly think you should do. good luck
3 Comments
Thank you very much for your advice and time thanks I'll have that in mind .
There is a very good chance that at least one of the 3 kids will not accept you no matter how perfect you are in dealings towards them. Then it will become daily battles in your home (been there - done that, fwiw) if you end up having one ( or more) of them on your case all the time and your hubby has to be the referee - if he even feels like doing that.
Plus the mother likely won't want to leave her kids with him so you will have to deal with scheduling this disruption into your life when he has them over to your house. And she might not be reasonable either.
Plus the mother likely won't want to leave her kids with him so you will have to deal with scheduling this disruption into your life when he has them over to your house. And she might not be reasonable either.
Great. Glad you received the message. This is your life but experience says this would be a very bad idea. good luck hon and we are definitely here if you have other questions. No judgement as we are all human so ask anything you'd like.
He is not on his way pls suggest him to go wid hia family n leave u n wil forget him by marrying someone.it will be best for u him n his family.
1 Comments
Thank you :)
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