what does it mean when a guy says he's not looking for anything serious?

[jenrulez88]

I've had a crush on this guy since I've met him, but didn't have the chance to meet until 3 weeks ago. We have a class together and from day one he asked if I wanted to study with him, but I wasn't prepared so I said I couldn's as much as I wanted to. Later, he kept asking to share answers and would only call me for help or for academic reasons. We went clubbing one night with a group of other friends and I told him "I dig you" he said he did too. The next few days went by as though nothing had happened. I did not push or inquire anything. Then, on the weekend, he asked if I wanted to hang out. We went to the movies and had a good night. Then nothing for the rest of the week. The weekend came and again we hung out and had a good time (he asked for a peck and I gave it to him). Agan, nothing for the rest of the week, only academics. This weekend we went to the movies. I finally asked him what he wanted out of this and he said he doesn't want anything serious, he's just looking to see where this takes us. What does that mean? What do I do?

[teko]

He is warning you that he likes your company but dont read anything else into it and do not feel like you feel cause he is not ready for that. You will run him off for sure if he gets the first hint of it. Take it slow, be friends and just c.  If you cannot do that, save yourself the future heartache and walk away now.

[mami1323]

I agree with Judy. Start to distance yourself from him so that your emotions don't control your actions. You can't think so much about how he will take it but focus on yourself and doing what's best for you.

[Judy246]

You control your emotions, by accepting the reality of the situation that he really is not that into you and if an opportunity arises, he'g going to go for it. If he really wants a relationship with you, you will sense it by his behavior, but he has been upfront that he's just not ready for a committed relationship, so as cute and "Mr. Wonderful" he might seem on the outside, his heart is just not ready for anything, so make sure you protect your emotions, because he can easily break your heart.  You can't change anyone. The only person you can change is yourself. Start backing up with the hanging out so that you slowly and gradually can detach yourself from him. It's up to you, you are in control of you! Good luck, Judy

[jenrulez88]

thank you iam1butterfly, Judy246, specialmom, penswriter, mayflowers, and mami1323! your comments helped a lot! i think i knew this, but I was on denial and wanted to make sure as though somehow he could change. silly me, right. haha. i was confused because he keeps saying he likes me and he doesnt think i like him. he also wont disrespect me at all so i know it's nothing sexual.

how does one control her emotions? how can i see it as a friendship if he gives me these other signs? i just wish i could stop hanging out, but then that would be weird and messed up for him, wouldnt it? ugh. decisions! :)
your comments/advice is great! It's so true that I have to watch my emotions. thanks everyone!

[mami1323]

I agree with everyone.  We women tend to always do this.  Instead of listening to what a man says we go around it and hope that he will change because if you stick around long enough he will realize how wonderful you are and decide he wants to be with you.  But instead what happens is he still acts the same and then we get upset because we aren't getting what we wanted and all this heartache could've been avoided if we had just listened to what they said that they weren't serious about having a relationship.  I'm not saying it could never happen but don't put all your eggs in one basket.  

[mayflowers]

I think it means he's not looking for anything serious.  Keep seeing other guys and if this guy is really for you, he will come around.  Otherwise, he will walk away, in which case, you haven't lost anything.  

He sounds young and like he just wants to play the field for now.  Nothing wrong with that and at least he is being honest with you.  You should play the field as well.

[penswriter]

it means just what he said "he's not looking for anything serious". he probably wants to keep his options open to date others. i wouldn't invest too many feelings until he says otherwise (then you should probably still be careful.)

[specialmom]

Hi,  I agree with the other ladies.  He enjoys your company, no doubt, but isn't currently looking for a girlfriend.  I would consider this a friendship and take it for what it is worth. Things can always blossom into something more but I would not pine away for it.  Also, I wouldn't provide him with "answers" anymore for your class.  Good luck

[Judy246]

sorry, I meant "It can become a relationship or he just might decide that he is not into you"...he's in control of himself, so you be in control of you and don't put your emotions out there with this guy.

[Judy246]

p.s he is also a risk for infidelity or "flight" so to speak. He has warned you in advance, so this can go in any way. I can become a full relationship or he might just not be into you. Guard your heart, because this one can break it. Hugs  Judy

[Judy246]

It means that he is not ready to be exclusive or committed at this point in time, so I would proceed with caution, because if you get emotionally attached to someone who is not ready, you can end up being hurt, so keep all those emotions in check, enjoy the moment if that is what you choose to do, but be ready if he doesn't want to take the relationship a step higher.....proceed with caution.  Judy

[iam1butterfly]

"... not looking for something serious" pretty much means what it says.
He's letting you know, in advance, that he's not interested in becoming romantically or emotionally involved. But, he might be open to other possibilities that might be in keeping with that "peck." So, what you decide to do depends largely on what you want out of the friendship. If you're okay with the open-ended, wait-and-see, just hanging out approach; then go for it. Keep it a friendship... but, be careful with the "pecks." Now, if you're hoping for something more meaningful or serious because you dig him... and, he's telling you, up front, that he doesn't want something serious; then, you may be setting yourself up for disappoint somewhere down the line. Don't expect a whole lot from this guy.. and, be careful with your heart!