why am i like this...?

[maharaja]

i am 21 yr old boy...i hav never had a girlfriend...when i talk to girls ...i feel a a bit awkward...like shy and nervous ...i have very much desire to fall in a relationship...but because of my behavior, i am not able to be friends with girls and not able to express myself even if i want to propose someone whom i talk to....?
pls sugest me something..because of these problems..i am frustated and cannot concentrate on my career and fear that i might be in along depression stage sometime in life...pls help me..!!!
thanks  

[seattlemom2plus]

You are so welcome.  Find out what works for you and don't be afraid of taking healthy risks that challenge your normal behavior :D

[maharaja]

hey friends,,,,thanx for the advice...i am really lookin forward to deal with this according to wat u all hav sugested me....:-D

[seattlemom2plus]

Keep in mind too, women are just people too :D  Women have the same fears and insecurities as some men.  So you are not the only one out there with the awkwardness.  Also anyone "new" that you meet can make you feel awkward at first so maybe keeping in this mind too will put you to ease somewhat.

specialmom is right try to get yourself involved with situations that involve women--- gardening clubs, book clubs, poetry readings, theater groups, etc.

Keep us posted I love hearing about progress :D

[specialmom]

Hi.  I  wonder if you have few females around in general in your life.  If you had a houseful of sisters, you'd be more natural around women, that kind of thing.  

My suggestion is to find some type of situation in which you are around women and interacting with them that is not to find someone to date (although that can come out of such a situation.).  Here are ideas--------  a book club (everyone reads a book and then comes together socially to discuss it), a class that has broad appeal to men and women, an exercise class that has a large membership of females, a volunteer organization that has women involved as well.  Practice your skills of just casually interacting.  Get that comfort level 'hanging out' with the opposite sex.  

Then when you feel you are attracted to someone you may feel that they feel the same, and you can ask them out.  

But I would build your comfort level with practice.  Very shy people can overcome it by putting themselves in safe social situations in a slow and steady way. Same theory here.  Exposure to what makes you uncomfortable in doses that don't overwhelm you will help you grow your confidence.  Good luck!!

[seattlemom2plus]

You can't force love or relationships they just kind of happen and they usually happen when we least expect it.  When we stop trying so hard things just fall into place.  Practice speaking to women without an expectation attached and see what happens.   Keep us updated too :D

[brice1967]

You've got to relax a bit man....  Talking to girls can be a bit awkward.  Some people have the gift of gab and can talk to anyone at any time.  Some guys are real good at talking to girls, some aren't that good.

Relax.... that is key.  Don't force conversations.  If it isn't going to come naturally and relaxed, you're going to feel awkward and that will shine through.  Small talk, that's your starting point.  "Hey, how are you today?"  "Wow, you look really nice today?"  Simple things.... you can't rush into the rest of your life right off the bat.  Relax and things will come.  The more you talk to women, the easier it will become.