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Avatar universal

why does this keep happening? should I just stay single?

I been with this guy on and off for about 6 months now. When we start off everything is great. We have lots of fun and love spending g time together. But then about a month or so in, I start getting annoyed by everything he does. Like everything. It makes me not wanna be with him anymore. But I'm really close with him and his family and I've already broke up with him twice. It was kind of my last chance. I dont wanna ruin it but I know if I try ignoring this feeling I'm just gonna explode on him because he just does the most annoying things. >.<
8 Responses
Avatar universal
Well......you need to keep in mind the reason or reasons you broke up with him the first and second time AND this all occured in 6 months which is a short period of time.

There nothing to "ruin" per se......sounds like you two aren't compatible.
973741 tn?1342346373
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there.  Well, it sounds like something isn't right and deep down your gut knows it.  

Is this a pattern for you with other guys or just this guy?  
Avatar universal
I've only had one other serious bf and I wasn't like this at all. We'd break up constantly but because he was a player and would lie a lot but I would always take him back when he would beg for another chance. I fell really hard for another guy at the same time as I started dating my current bf. But he was a total jerk and although he liked me as well he didnt want like a label.
973741 tn?1342346373
COMMUNITY LEADER
Okay, thanks for that information.  It helps.  I do see a bit of a pattern with the breaking up and getting back together.  While some guys will go for this, just know that for some, a break up is the true end the first time it happens.  

but otherwise, everything would indicate that the problem is that this relationship just doesn't work on some level for you.  

I know it is hard too when we've gotten to know family and meshed lives but you have to really think hard about the day to day.  If you feel agitated with him frequently, think about why.

Are you yourself stressed, overtired or anything like that?  That can make us irritable and the person we date and spend lots of time with can get on our nerves.  Then it is our own bad habit that we need to break.  

OR, we really could be with the wrong person and we are trying really hard to make it work when it probably just shouldn't.

You can give this a try if you want to see if it helps if you aren't ready to leave the relationship----  wear a rubber band.  As you begin to feel agitated with him, slow it down and don't act on it.  Snap the rubber band and have a list of maybe 5 things you can do instead of feeding that negativity and agitation.  go for a walk.  Wash clothes or dishes.  paint your nails.  read a book, etc.  It also helps me to think about the other person (because we ALL do get irritated from time to time when we live with someone) to think of things from their perspective.  Sure, I THINK I know best.  But if I tell myself forcefully that I really don't and the other person deserves a chance to do it their way or to be who they are, etc.--  it helps me put myself in place.  Does that make sense?

good luck hon
Avatar universal
Makes perfect sense. And I have been in a bit of depression mode since the holidays. I'm always tired and I never wanna go to work or school. School has been really hard for me and money is an issue too. It also bothers me a lot that his mom tries to control is life. Like I understand we're young and such and have a lot to learn but its so bad that she complains if he eats another meal after He's already had dinner. Like seriously. So since she is so over baring, he kinda just does whatever she says. Where as with me. I'm very laid back and go with the flow type person and my mom doesn't control me. I know this is pretty irrelevant but it kinda influences his decision making and how annoying it is. I think we'd be a lot happier, or I'd be a lot happier if he had a lot more freedom and would think for himself.
3149845 tn?1506631371
Hi also, i think what your missing in relationships that there are 2 different people involved and there needs to be acceptance and understanding. Without these no relationship can survive.
Avatar universal
I'm not sure what you mean by 2 different people and acceptance and understanding.....
3149845 tn?1506631371
I mean there is an attraction you have but some things he does bothers you and it builds up over time. If these issues are really of little importance just accept them and understand that he is just this way. When i read your post its like you only want him to be as you are. Do things as you do, see things as you see but he is a different person.
Whats important is not how messy he leaves things or how he wont help around the house or his silly opinons about life, what important is he loves you.
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