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518733 tn?1333017015

xbox widow

who hear is an xbox widow my bf spends all his time on his!

trying to have a conversation with him is like talking to a zombie, he stays up till 3 in the moring on it talking to his friends and playing games.

anyone else had enough?
x
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Avatar universal
Hey,
Im a male and also enjoy playing the xbox (And wii) too , I dont play it loads (Like till 3 in the morning lol :P ) but i do play games.
I find that when i am playing the xbox my gf is either reading a book, Catching up on her studies or just relaxing watching tv etc :)
Even sometimes she plays with me, We actully both enjoy the wii etc :) and then other times i will watch a film she wants to watch or read a book to her (I have tried helping her with her studies but i just confuse the issue lol)

All im saying is try taking an intrest in what your partner likes and they should do the same too :)
Helpful - 0
729276 tn?1231442654
First, my wife was a WoW (World of Warcraft) Widow for about a year, now she plays and we play together. It’s a bounding thing for us. We are talking about getting a Xbox and a Wii. When Playing WoW or any other game we have to problem salve together. We work not only together but with RL friends who also play. We find it no different then Sitting mindlessly watching a TV Show, reading, bowling, playing pool, or any other activity. With some games you play by yourself, this is like reading. Some times it’s a group activity like bowling and playing pool. Watching TV can be a group activity too I guess if every one is watching the same show, yet where is the interaction?

I would say that playing till 3 am is not a bad thing, as long as it’s not all the time. Over the Holidays my wife and I were playing some nights till 4 or 5, other days reading till 4 or 5. You can’t let it get in the way of your Health and your job. My wife and I are trying to cut back on week nights now just because we want to get in to better shape. We are both on here only because of the Weight loss tracker.

I would suggest you two first talk. Second try and come to a compermise. What do you do for entertainment at night? Maybe he can spend a night with you. Yet that also means maybe you can spend a night with him playing Xbox, go out together and find a game you would both like.

Helpful - 0
518733 tn?1333017015
well the thing is im 35 weeks pregnant! so i dont have the energy to play or wii games also i dont wanna be left holding the baby while hes on his xbox!

he plays call of duty and things like that with his friends online and im realy not intersted in shooting games!

we never go to bed together and i feel its importnant to have a cuddle and time together in bed it nice! i have no problem with him playing his xbox if it was not all the time we have one tv in the living room so i cant get away from it! i dont have time to sit and read im eather cleaning, cooking or looking after the baby i sit for!
Helpful - 0
184674 tn?1360860493
This will most likely be a difficult issue, for her to get involved with her bf to play his xbox games, as she's expecting a baby with him in only a few short weeks.

Maybe it's just me, but I see a lot of resentment between her and him in the near future while she stays up all night long with a colicy baby, and he's playing his xbox with the excuse that it's his stress reliever.
I enjoy video games too, and in fact I just go a Wii as a gift over the weekend. I love it. However, I've hardly spent any time on it because I have a 4 year old boy to care for, pets, a house, a job to go to during the weekdays, taekwondo classes for my health and exercise, I have to cook dinner, take my son to his taekwondo classes and spend quality time with him reading and going to parks and playing silly kid games. When I get a chance to use my Wii (and before that, my Gamecube), it was VERY rarely...usually weekends when he takes a two hour nap and nights after putting him to bed. Nights are actually more seldom than weekends,  though, because honestly, I'm just worn out and ready to crash by 10 pm.
Being a single parent is difficult. I can't imagine trying to raise a baby or young child with a spouse/partner that would put hours upon hours of video game time before the relationship and family, using the excuse "this is my interest--why don't YOU try to be a part of it."
Okay, I don't have a problem being a part of an interest like that, but it would be difficult for me not to harbor resentment if I was literally "widowed" until I forced myself to join in, just to get attention.
Then along comes a baby, and when that happens, BOTH PARENTS need to on Baby's time, Baby's schedule, Baby's demands, not just one parent while the other lives under the same roof and shares the same genes as the baby. Both parents made this life together, so they'd better both be there equally to care for it.
I think this is going to be a big problem once the baby is born.
Helpful - 0
184674 tn?1360860493
Angelbabies, I was typing my response when you posted.
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729276 tn?1231442654
OK I got to brake Guy code here. Tell him to get off his @$$ and clean and cook. You are 35 weeks pregnant. Get him to understand there has to be some time together. A nice Xbox game you would like is a good thing. A board games night. A Movie night. Just something so you two will have something to do. Try and tell him you have nothing to do because he takes over the TV. I know I stopped playing the Xbox because I didn't want to take over the TV on my wife.

As for a person who loves to cuddle and I marred a woman that is not a cuddlier I understand the want cuddle.
Helpful - 0
184674 tn?1360860493
Not to sound like a downer here, I really don't. But I think the boyfriend is obviously so involved in his video game habit that it sounds like it could be an addiction.
Telling him to get off his butt and help may work one or two times, but I wouldn't put much hope beyond that. I had this problem with my son's father when we were together. His main things to do were play xbox, watch DVDs, and go hang out with friends to smoke and drink and get high on pot. And yes, quite a few times I had my moment of telling him to get involved and help out, to do things to bond with his son--they were ALWAYS short-lived. Always.
So my advice to Angelbabies is to either get used to having to ride his @$$ all the time and feel like a nag just so you can get him to do so much as change a diaper and take his dinner plate from the living room to the kitchen sink when he's done eating, to the point where you both are resentful of each other most days and you feel like a single parent living with a "pretend dad," or go the route of a separation or break up, allowing him all the access to paternal rights so he can be involved in his child's life as much as he chooses to be.
I wish you the best. I've been there and I couldn't stand it, so I quit fighting for the relationship and let it go. I haven't regretted it since. I hope things can work out for you, whichever route you take.
Helpful - 0
518733 tn?1333017015
thanks hun, its just i want my relationship back! and wer about to have a baby if theres not wnough time for "us" now there never will be.
thanks for you reply
x
Helpful - 0
184674 tn?1360860493
I only understand all too well where you're coming from. After my son was born, I literally did everything in my power to salvage the relationship so we could be a family. I can't think of one thing that I didn't try.
Letting go was the best thing I did for my son and me. It hurt, and it was hard, but well worth it. I now have a boyfriend (who might as well be my fiance because he got me a ring...he just didn't ask the question...but I'm sure there's a reason, lol) who is everything I could ask for and more. He is so good to my son and me, and fortunately but sadly, he knows my son better than his father does, and has spent more time with my son than his father spent with him in 2½ years. My ex still has complete open communication with me and our son, for the benefit of our son, but he moved 1500 miles away from us. This Christmas, he didn't even get our son a gift or even send money for a gift for him; he just sent a card that was not a Christmas card, but wrote Merry Christmas in it. And for Christmas, he took time off and money to take a trip to Scotland when he had told me earlier in the year that he would come see our son for Christmas. So not much has changed about him. The only thing I can say has changed is that he will (or should be) a college graduate by May this year...other than that, his self-centered and indifferent personality haven't changed at all.
I'm very glad I found the strength to move on in life, but at the same time, part of me wishes that all the strength I put into trying to save that relationship had been worthwhile--but some things are simply not meant to be.
Thankfully, we have a civil relationship with each other most of the time since breaking up. That's the best I can ask for, and I'm glad we have at least achieved that.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yea i wouldnt advise playing the wii when pregnant lol :P

No seriously i think you need to switch that xbox off for him and sit down and have a chat...
Just ask him to do more around the house and for you (Ie Cooking a meal now and again , Keeping the house tidy, Even just helping you relax)
I cook meals for me gf and hey im no chef sometimes it isnt even edable! :P But she still loves it (And also likes mocking my cooking lol!)

Just talk to him and ask him to do more and play less.... Let me know how it goes :)
Helpful - 0
518733 tn?1333017015
thanks guys :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You are having the same problem us older ladies had with the television. I threw a tv in the garbage once, cause I was so mad! Then I figured out he was boring anyway, gave his tv back and started making friends to do things with.
Helpful - 0
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