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Bath house first time, scared of STDs, please help
After incessant searching for symptoms through the internet, I found this forum and have found some of the answers quite useful.
I am happily married with two kids and am very worried about my situation. I am bisexual, but have been faithful all throughout my marriage of 8 years, until 15 days ago. I was in Rome for a business trip and was drunk one night. I have always been curious about what goes on in bath houses so I went to one intending just to see what goes on there.
The place had a dark room with many men having sex. I went in and instantly someone was fondling me. I has someone kissing me too for a few minutes .. and at some point I was receiving oral for several minutes as well. But I came to my senses and left the dark room without finishing. I quickly took a shower and just went to the porn viewing area feeling very nervous.
There someone fondled me again and proposed that we head to somewhere more private. We chatted a bit and I found out he was also American and also on a business trip. I went to a private room with him and we had unprotected oral sex. I was mostly getting rather than giving head. And neither of us came in anyone's mouth. We finished just jacking each other off. Later on, he revealed that he was also married. But I left the sauna/bathhouse extremely confused, guilty and nervous.
I came back home a few days later and exactly 8 days after my sauna incident I started feeling a headache, fatigue and muscle pain in my arms -- usually the start of a flu or cold for me. My wife and I had sex too on day 7. Really stupid of me! We did use a condom, but I put it on after about 10-15 minutes of unprotected sex (without ejaculation).
I think I also suffered some congestion, but since I suffer from allergies, my daily Claritin may have minimized this. There was never fever, just headache, weakness and muscle pain. I started feeling better after a day or two, but then my throat started feeling slightly sore (9-10 days after the incident). The next day, my throat was OK. Then I was fine for a few days. My son also started getting a cold soon after that so I thought that maybe this was all just a cold virus.
Still I couldn't shrug off my feelings of guilt and couldn't get much sleep two days ago. Then the fatigue, muscle pain, and got a headache came back (14 days after the incident)! So I'm thinking that it can't be a cold anymore. At the same time, my wife had her period and she is complaining that this one is particularly heavy, and she has even mentioned what she thought were blood clots. She says that she has had this kind of periods before, but never again after giving birth to our kids (3 years ago).
My headache, fatigue and muscle pain continue to this day (15 days after the incident). I am also suffering from slight congestion and nasal drip. But again, I have take Claritin. My wife says her menstruation is still strong.. and I am really really scared.
So I guess, my question is.. did I give my wife an STD or HIV? I don't know how I can forgive myself if I did. Do any of these symptoms sound I have been looking out for any other symptoms on me.. like regularly checking for any penile discharge... but so far there is none. Only headache, fatigue and muscle pain. I plan to get tested, but I know it's probably too early. But in the meantime, I cannot help but think that I may have destroyed our lives.
So sorry for this. And feel free to judge what I've done. It is despicable and I deserve all the judgment in the world. I just want to know if I should confess to my wife right now.. so perhaps we can both get tested. But I know she will also never forgive me for this. I am clearly so stupid for destroying our otherwise good marriage.
I am happily married with two kids and am very worried about my situation. I am bisexual, but have been faithful all throughout my marriage of 8 years, until 15 days ago. I was in Rome for a business trip and was drunk one night. I have always been curious about what goes on in bath houses so I went to one intending just to see what goes on there.
The place had a dark room with many men having sex. I went in and instantly someone was fondling me. I has someone kissing me too for a few minutes .. and at some point I was receiving oral for several minutes as well. But I came to my senses and left the dark room without finishing. I quickly took a shower and just went to the porn viewing area feeling very nervous.
There someone fondled me again and proposed that we head to somewhere more private. We chatted a bit and I found out he was also American and also on a business trip. I went to a private room with him and we had unprotected oral sex. I was mostly getting rather than giving head. And neither of us came in anyone's mouth. We finished just jacking each other off. Later on, he revealed that he was also married. But I left the sauna/bathhouse extremely confused, guilty and nervous.
I came back home a few days later and exactly 8 days after my sauna incident I started feeling a headache, fatigue and muscle pain in my arms -- usually the start of a flu or cold for me. My wife and I had sex too on day 7. Really stupid of me! We did use a condom, but I put it on after about 10-15 minutes of unprotected sex (without ejaculation).
I think I also suffered some congestion, but since I suffer from allergies, my daily Claritin may have minimized this. There was never fever, just headache, weakness and muscle pain. I started feeling better after a day or two, but then my throat started feeling slightly sore (9-10 days after the incident). The next day, my throat was OK. Then I was fine for a few days. My son also started getting a cold soon after that so I thought that maybe this was all just a cold virus.
Still I couldn't shrug off my feelings of guilt and couldn't get much sleep two days ago. Then the fatigue, muscle pain, and got a headache came back (14 days after the incident)! So I'm thinking that it can't be a cold anymore. At the same time, my wife had her period and she is complaining that this one is particularly heavy, and she has even mentioned what she thought were blood clots. She says that she has had this kind of periods before, but never again after giving birth to our kids (3 years ago).
My headache, fatigue and muscle pain continue to this day (15 days after the incident). I am also suffering from slight congestion and nasal drip. But again, I have take Claritin. My wife says her menstruation is still strong.. and I am really really scared.
So I guess, my question is.. did I give my wife an STD or HIV? I don't know how I can forgive myself if I did. Do any of these symptoms sound I have been looking out for any other symptoms on me.. like regularly checking for any penile discharge... but so far there is none. Only headache, fatigue and muscle pain. I plan to get tested, but I know it's probably too early. But in the meantime, I cannot help but think that I may have destroyed our lives.
So sorry for this. And feel free to judge what I've done. It is despicable and I deserve all the judgment in the world. I just want to know if I should confess to my wife right now.. so perhaps we can both get tested. But I know she will also never forgive me for this. I am clearly so stupid for destroying our otherwise good marriage.
Thanks for the reply. What about gonorrhea or chlamydia? What are the chances of getting these from oral sex?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, the risks for unprotected oral would be herpes syphilis and hpv. When symptoms of herpes appear they can be a fever and body aches. Really none of what you describe appear as a herpes infection. But since your married, you should test for her protection as below post exposure.
1. herpes----3 months
2. syphilis-----6 weeks
3. there is no test for HPV just keep an eye out for any warts that show up.
1. herpes----3 months
2. syphilis-----6 weeks
3. there is no test for HPV just keep an eye out for any warts that show up.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
