Hi there -
I'm sorry you are going through all this. :(
As to who gave it to whom, and when, its going to be really hard to know without both partners testing. If they take a type specific IgG blood test now, and they have your type, then its possible they are your source. If they are negative now, and positive later, you might be their source.
As far as pain, there are a few things you can do.
Keep the area as dry as possible, and whenever possible, go without bottoms. When you get home, put on a nightie or robe or something, and let the air dry things out.
When you have to urinate, pour water over yourself, or pee in a tub. This helps dilute the acid in your urine, and also make sure to drink a lot of water. That helps dilute the acid, too, and that's why it hurts when it hits sores.
Sit on a bag of frozen peas. I know it sounds funny, but it molds to your body better than an ice pack.
Call your doctor and ask for a prescription of lidocaine gel, preferably 4%. If your doctor won't give you that, and you are in the US, go to any grocery or drug store and look for Dermoplast. Make sure you get the blue can, not the red. Walmart also carries it, don't know about Target or Costco, but I would imagine they do.
The valtrex is going to take a few days to work. What dose are you taking?
Hope this helps some.
Oh forgot some questions, didn't I?
As to the difference between type 1 and 2, type 1 usually has fewer, milder outbreaks. About 50% of those with ghsv1 will never have another ob past their first.
I can promise you though that no other ob will ever be this bad again, whether you have type 1 or 2.
Thanks AJ, that was helpful.
If my outbreak now is severe, does that indicate it's type 2? Also, is it 100% that I would have passed it to my ex? I care for him and don't want to subject him to this.
I read somewhere it is hard for guys to get it than woman. And when is this the most contagious-- during the first outbreak, only during outbreaks, etc?
Unfortunately, you cannot tell which type it is by your initial outbreak. In order to resolve the situation, you should do the following:
1. You should probably pick a moment and talk with your x-BF about this. You have to make the decision on when, i.e. now or when you get your final results. The most ethical thing would be now. The most human thing may be when you have all the information.
2. The same goes for your previous partner (except that I would feel less ethically obligated. You either got it from him or got it after you had sex with him.)
3. Your x-BF should have a type specific blood test. So should your previous partner. However a recent infection may not show on the tests.
Read the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com for more information. Unfortunately the few days before and during your outbreaks will be your most contagious. Your contact with your BF fits right in that range. If he is the source, it is not a big worry. You guys can figure it out once you find out what type it is.
A bit more direct info...
a. You will not know if he caught it until he shows lesions, tests positive on a test, or negative on a type specific test after 3-4 months.
b. You are most contagious near and during outbreaks
c. You are contagious at other times. However, Genital Type 1 typically is easier to manage: more people have it (over 50% in the US), fewer outbreaks, infrequent shedding in between outbreaks.
Once you know the type, the forum can help you with how to manage it.
so if i was approaching an outbreak, could you provide what % possibility is that I passed it onto him? keeping in mind, he did have a condom on when it was near my outbreak. i feel like the worst person in the world.
also, could he have given it to me through oral sex? he's only been with me and 1 other person. i'm finding it hard to continue with my life. is there emotional support i could get somewhere?
1. You are not the worst person in the world. This stuff happens literally everyday. Most of the time Herpes is passed on by people that do not know that they have it.
2. Your boyfriend may be the source.
3. Not much is known about the % of transmission right before an outbreak. However,
- The viral load is high
- Condoms tend to protect women better than they do men
- I wouldn't bet either way that transmission was or was not possible
4. It is really hard to say who gave it to you, but in my opinion:
- On your first partner...
a. Genital to Genital transmission is possible but uncommon when no outbreak occurs. Women are protected pretty well by condoms if they are used properly.
- The exposure of greatest interest here is your first encounter with your boyfriend
b. Oral-to-Genital HSV1 transmission is possible
c. Genital-to-Genital HSV2 transmission is possible
d. Oral-to-Genital HSV2 transmission is possible but very rare
e. Genital-to-Genital HSV1 transmission is possible but uncommon
In order of decreasing likelihood, I would rank: (b), (c), (a), (e), (d). This is not an exact ranking. It is just a guess... (a) and (c) are kind of a toss-up.
On emotional support...
Doctors may or may not be a good source of support. Many see Herpes as a very common skin condition that very rarely causes complications. Once they believe that you do not have complications, they may dismiss it as a minor issue. This is actually the TRUTH of the matter. Remember 50%+ of the US has HSV1, 20%+ has HSV2. It is very possible that you have family members and friends with one or both.
Use the various resources on the internet..
- The Original Herpes Homepage which has a forum for young people
- The MedHelp Herpes Community (which focuses more on diagnosis)
- Westover Heights has the Herpes Handbook
- American Social Health Association www.ashastd.org which has a hotline and local support groups
Try to relax. There are millions of people around you with Herpes. The "worry" is much worse in most cases that the skin condition that it causes.
I would do the following:
2. Ask your doctor to help you out with anxiety if you need it
3. Read the Herpes Handbook at westoverheights
4. Get something else to focus on. Buy a TV series on DVD
5. Go out with friends and do something athletic or fun
6. Get your results
7. Get back to the forum here
* Tell your boyfriend at some point. You have to figure out when. Sooner is better ethically. However, you really do not have many facts to give him yet...
Thanks this was really helpful information. I just can't seem to bring myself to have this conversation especially since he is out of the country.
But you say that woman are protected pretty well when condoms are used. So it could have been him to who gave it to me. The only reason I was betting on the other guy is because he had more partners. My BF only had 2 (me being second).
If he had HSV 1 and gave it to me through oral, what are the chances he will now have it in his genitals?
The chances of him having it genitally are slim as he has antibodies to hsv1 that will help protect him from re-infection in another spot.
And I know everyone's first thought is to go with the person who's had more partners, and in some ways, that makes sense, but it makes no difference with hsv1.
thanks aj and webcrawler. it really means a lot to me that you read my post.
i'm experiencing a serious case of depression which i suspect is typical with this kind of news and your answers are my only highs.
i'm still waiting for my results about it being 1 or 2. just want to add that i had also been sleeping with the first guy for a few months before my ex-bf came back into my life.
so i would think if it was the first guy that it would have happened before. but maybe my immune system was better than? who knows. i don't think i will ever know the answer to this. if it is the first guy, i don't think he would tell me and my ex is back in europe now so not sure how to ask him either without scaring him.